They Call Her Cinderhella

| USA | Family & Kids

(I work at a register, and really enjoy interacting with kids that come through my line. I see a 4-year-old girl all dressed in pink.)

Me: “Hey there, pumpkin. How are you today?”

(The little girl crosses her arm, stomps her foot, and starts pouting.)

Little Girl: “I am NOT a pumpkin! I am a PRINCESS! Mommy, you tell her! I AM A PRINCESS!”

Me: “Yes, you certainly are…”

Self-Serving Stupidity Will Not Be Served

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

(I am a customer, standing third in line behind a very well-dressed woman in her 50s—we’ll call her Customer #1. The cashier, in her 70s, has just finished ringing out a young 20-something woman with pink hair. It is about 1 am and I am dead tired, literally swaying on my feet. There are three other customers behind me, which we’ll call Customers #2-#4.)

Cashier: *to Customer #1* “Oh dear, just a moment!”

(With that, the cashier runs off after the pink-haired customer, who has left behind a gift card she just purchased. Angrily, Customer #1 slams a 24-pack of canned drinks on the counter and turns to me.)

Customer #1: “I bet she is going to try to make me put this back in my cart, but I won’t. It’s a little game I like to play called, ‘Who’s Getting Paid for This?’”

(Note: Customer #1 has left a 40-pound bag of cat litter and 20-pound bag of cat food in her cart, both heavier than the drinks.)

Me: *shrugs*

(The cashier returns, panting and out of breath.)

Cashier: “Sorry about that. She left her gift c—”

Customer #1: “I don’t care. Just ring my purchases up!”

Cashier: “Oh, um… right, sorry.”

(The cashier rings the small items through, double-bagging the cans and folding the clothing with care, before using the hand scanner to ring up the drinks, the litter, and the cat food.)

Cashier: “Your total is [price], ma’am.”

Customer #1: “Well, it’s about time. Load my d*** cart so I can get the h*** out this s***hole!”

(The cashier sets the bags in the cart around the litter and cat food, and then looks at the 24-pack of drinks.)

Cashier: “You’ll have to set the pop in the cart, ma’am. I’m sorry, but I can’t lift it.”

Customer #1: “You can’t lift it? What kind of bulls*** is that? Why the h*** not?”

Cashier: “I can’t lift over 10 pounds; doctor’s orders.”

Customer #1: “That is none of my business. Why are you telling me this? Just do your d*** job!”

Customer #2: *to Customer #1* “You asked her why; that is why she’s telling you. Ugh!”

Customer #1: *glares at Customer #2* “Well, this is not acceptable. Get your manager over here now. Maybe he can load my cart since you are too lazy.”

(At this point, I’ve had enough and grab Customer #1’s 24-pack of drinks and set it in her cart.)

Customer #1: “What the f*** are you doing?!”

Me: “Lady, it is 1 am. I am tired and want to go home. I will load the d*** groceries in your car if it gets you out of the way faster!”

Customer #1: “You have no right to touch my groceries!”

Customer #2: “And you have no right to be such a b****. You didn’t have to lift it, she did…” *points at me* “…even though you obviously were able to put it in the cart and on the counter by yourself. You got your change, so get out of the way!”

Customers #3 & #4: *echoes of agreement*

Customer #1: “Well, I never—“

Me: “It is obvious you have ‘never.’ You have NEVER had to work a low paying job with a**hole customers who get enjoyment out of making your life harder. We get it. Now go away!”

(I set my two items on the counter as Customer #1 stomps away to customer service.)

Cashier: *crying silently* “Thank you so much.”

(Customer #2 and I stand away from the register for a few minutes talking after that. Customer #1 has caused enough trouble at this point to be escorted out of the store by the store manager and security. Afterwards, the store manager hugs his cashier and sends her to break so she can calm down. As it turns out, the cashier is his ailing aunt who has been working while getting chemotherapy. She really isn’t supposed to be working at all, but is unable to afford treatment otherwise.)

Store Manager: “There is only so much stupid I can tolerate!”

Weekly Roundup: Grow Up Already!

Not Always Right | Roundups

Grow Up Already! This week’s roundup features customers that may look like grown ups, but act like kids!

  1. Spoiled (3,766 thumbs up)
    The spoiled princess in this story isn’t the daughter, but her out-of-control mother!
  2. Daddy’s Little Grown-Up And Not-So-Bright Girl (2,604 thumbs up)
    We’ll always help children who are lost, except when they’re neither children — or lost.
  3. Your Prank Got Spanked, Part 2 (4,261 thumbs up)
    Mike Hunt finally meets I.P. Freely!
  4. Trucker In Need Of Break Fluid (6,649 thumbs up)
    A demanding customer learns why it’s important to “please” his server.
  5. Do As I Say, Not As I Play (2,481 thumbs up)
    Instead of playing games, this immature father should play the adult!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Self-Discarding Prophecy

| Switzerland | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I am a secretary at an eye clinic. A patient comes up to me to get a new appointment.)

Me: “So, this is your card with the date and time of the consultation.”

Patient: “Do I get a letter with this information?”

Me: “We just give out the cards. We have about 140 patients everyday. So, we can’t mail everyone a letter for their next appointment… sorry.”

Patient: “But then, how do I remember it?”

Me: “Well, you have your card now.”

Patient: “That’s not possible, because I’m going to throw this card away!”

Me: “Just please hang on to the card, and you’ll be fine.”

Patient: “Great. How am I supposed to remember the appointment when I’m throwing this away?”

Me: “Please just hang on to the card.”

Patient: “You’re no help at all. In case I forget my next appointment, it’s your fault!”

Somehow, The Great Indoors Doesn’t Have The Same Ring To It

| Newfoundland, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work in a small checkpoint building at a campground. It acts as sort of a front desk for the campground. The building being very small, it gets very hot in the summer and has windows on all four sides of it. Three sides for ventilation, with one wicket for serving customers.)

Customer: *pulls up in an RV* “Yeah, I want a campsite for the night.” *holds out cash*

Me: “Sure, we have lots of availability. Can you come around to the front window here? This one is only for fresh air, and I can’t remove the fly screen.”

Customer: “You mean come OUT? Like OUTDOORS?” *gets panicky* “Like, where there are bugs, and dirt, and pollen?!”

Me: “Yeah, I can’t serve anyone through that window. I need you to get out and come around to this one.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I can’t do that! I think I’ll find somewhere else to camp for the night, with less outdoors!” *drives off*

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