Trying To Inspire Change

| Europe | Money

(At our gas station, you can either fill first and pay with cash inside, or use a credit card at the pumps. A customer stomps into the station and glares at me.)

Me: “Hi!”

Customer: *glaring continues*

(I assume he is there to pay for his gas. It happens all the time that the customers expect me to know this without them saying anything.)

Me: “How can I help you today?”

Customer: *still glaring*

Me: “Alright, pump 5, is it? That will be $23.50, please.”

(The customer sighs loudly, whips out his wallet, and begins to furiously go through his cash. He then throws a 20 at me before finally speaking.)

Customer: “Well, I don’t have that much!”

Me: “Oh, do you happen to have a credit card perhaps?”

Customer: “NO!”

(For a few seconds we stand there staring at one another. I can tell that this situation won’t get any better.)

Me: “…You know what, I’ll just pay the rest for you.”

Customer: *turns and stomps out in a huff*

Me: “YOU ARE VERY WELCOME, SIR!”

The Fringes Of Sanity

| London, England, UK | Bizarre

(I am shaving my head in public for charity at a school fair. Because my hair is too long to shave straight off, anyone at the fair can pay £1 to chop a chunk of my hair off, putting said hair in a bucket afterwards. A man walks into the fair, sees my stall, and makes a beeline for it.)

Me: “Hello! I’m raising money for charity. Would you like to cut a lump of my hair off for £1? It’s all being shaved at 9pm.”

Man: *smiles, says nothing, and puts £1 on the table*

Me: “Great, here are the scissors.”

Man: *takes the scissors and cuts some of my hair*

Me: “Nice one! If you’d just like to put the hair in the bucket ove—”

Man: *smiles, looks at my newly cut hair, and walks out of the fair with it*

Me: *speechless*

Currently Cannot See Currency

| ON, Canada | Tourists/Travel

(A customer comes to my till to pay for a fax.)

Customer: “I hate this country!”

Me: “Oh?”

Customer: “How much for my fax?”

Me: “It comes to $1.68.”

Customer: “Oh, no! I don’t have enough Canadian money left to pay for it. All I have is my American money.”

Me: “That’s okay, we accept American bills.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(He hands me an American 5 dollar bill, and I give him his change is Canadian coins.)

Customer: “What’s this!?”

Me: “Your change.”

Customer: “But it’s Canadian!”

Me: “Yes, we are in Canada, sir.”

Customer: “But I gave you American money!”

Me: “Yes, but I have to give you Canadian money back.”

Customer: “But if I pay you in American, you have to give me American back!”

Me: “No, we don’t have American money.”

Customer: “Why not!?”

Me: “Because we’re in Canada.”

Customer: “Well how do I know you’re not screwing me for the exchange!?”

Me: “The till calculates it for me.”

Customer: “Well what am I supposed to do with this stupid Canadian money?”

Me: “You could buy things with it, or you could exchange it at the bank.”

Customer: “I hate this stupid country! Why would you give me Canadian change!?”

Me: “Like I said. Because we’re in Canada.”

Customer: “But I paid with American money! How can you accept it but not give it back!?”

Me: “We accept it for the convenience of customers. If that’s all they have, then they can still pay for their items. But we don’t stock American money in our tills to give back to them.”

Customer: “Why not!?”

Me: *pause* “Because… we’re in Canada.”

Customer: “Oh, I can’t wait to get out of this stupid country!”

A Sad Sign Of The Times

| SK, Canada | Money, Top, Transportation

(At the gas station where I work, all electronic payment methods are currently offline. To combat this, we have numerous 8×11 signs that say “DEBIT AND CREDIT DOWN! CASH ONLY PLEASE!” A customer comes in to pay for gas and pulls out his credit card.)

Me: “Sorry, that card isn’t going to work. Our debit and credit systems are down.”

Customer: “Well why aren’t there any signs telling me this?”

Me: “There are three signs on every gas pump, including the one you were on. There are four on the door you opened to get in here. There are two on the counter that you currently have your hands on, and there are four more on the glass window I’m currently talking to you through.”

(The customer goes silent, realizing that he’s just missed seeing 13 signs. This happens five more times in the next 20 minutes with other customers, so I’m forced to resort to going on the intercom with every gas customer after that. Before allowing them to get fuel, I ask if they are paying with cash, with an alarming number of people all saying ‘No’, with one notable exception.)

Me: *over the intercom* “Pump number 4, are you paying with cash?”

Customer: “Yes, I can read the signs all over the pumps.” *laughs*

Me: “Ha ha, nice! Apparently most people can’t. ”

Customer: “Oh, I know. I’ve worked with the public before. I get scared sharing the road with these people!”

The Great Will Of China

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(A customer tries on a pair of shoes. As she is about to pay, she asks about getting a tax refund.)

Customer: “Can I get duty free for this?”

Me: “No, you cant get duty free for these because you have to spend over $300 and these are only $149.”

Customer: “So, I can get duty free?”

Me: “No, sorry, these are only $149. You need to spend over $300 to be able to claim your tax at the airport.”

Customer: “So, I can only wear these in Australia? I can’t wear these in China?”

Me: “Yes, you can wear these in China, but you wont be able to claim your tax back because they are not over $300.”

Customer: “So, I can’t take these to China?”

Other staff: “Yes you can wear them in China, but they’re not duty free.”

Customer: “So, I can wear them in Australia, and to the airport, but not in China?”

Me: “No, you can wear them anywhere.”

Customer: “How much tax can I get back?”

Other staff: “You can get 10% tax back but you cant get it for these ones because it is less than $300.”

Customer: “So, I can wear them to China?”

Me: “Of course.”

Customer: “Okay!”

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