Happily Single Minded

| Sewell, NJ, USA | Right | February 20, 2014

(While working at the DMV, I overhear the following conversation between a mother and her teenage daughter applying for her driver’s license.)

Daughter: “My birth certificate asks if I’m single?”

Mother: *reads birth certificate*

Daughter: “Why is it asking if I’m single?”

Mother: “Seriously? Think about it.”

Daughter: *after pausing for a few moments in deep thought* “Oh, right. I guess there’s arranged marriages.”

Mother: “… It means you weren’t born a twin.”

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Some Background Is Required

| SK, Canada | Right | February 20, 2014

(I provide in-home servicing of computers. My client has reported that his computer doesn’t turn on. Once on site, I do a quick check to make sure it’s plugged in and the power bar is working.)

Me: “Okay, I’m thinking it’s the power supply. If it is, the parts and labour is [cost] plus tax. If not, I’ll have to dig a little deeper to see what the problem is.”

Client: “No problem. Do what you have to do.”

(I open the computer’s case and see that the wires from the power supply to the motherboard have been cut, likely with scissors or a knife. My client sees it right away as well.)

Me: “Well, this is new one for me. Any idea what happened here?”

Client: *clearly angry, but certainly not at me* “No. Will a new power supply still fix it? I have work I need to do on this computer today.”

Me: “Yes, assuming nothing else is damaged.”

(I replace the power supply with a new one, and the computer turns on. After booting, my client’s desktop background turns out to be a picture of his son and his best [male] friend having sex.)

Client: “Well, that explains it.”

(Turns out, the kid accidentally set the desktop background to the picture in question, and didn’t know how to change it back. In a state of panic he cut the wires, thinking dad would just get a new computer rather than get it fixed!)

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No Returns And No Understanding

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Right | February 20, 2014

(I usually work the floor and I happen to overhear a conversation as I am near the refunds counter.)

Customer: “Hello. I’d like to return some clothes I’ve bought.”

Cashier: “Sure. Do you have the receipt?”

Customer: “Yep, I’ve got it right here.”

(The customer then puts on the counter a bag from a different store and pulls out a receipt from said store.)

Cashier: “Oh, sorry. I can’t return those. They weren’t bought from here.”

Customer: “But I have the receipt for them. If I have a receipt, I can return what I’ve bought.”

Cashier: “You can only return items to the store you purchased them from. These are from [Other Store], not here.”

Customer: “I don’t understand. I have a receipt. Why won’t you give me a refund?!”

Cashier: “Because they weren’t purchase from here.”

Customer: “But I have the receipt. I did buy them!”

Cashier: “You didn’t buy them from [Our Store Chain]. You bought them from [Other Store]. To get a refund you need to take it back to one of their stores.”

Customer: “But why? If I have a receipt I can return it anywhere.”

Cashier: “I can’t give you the refund because we never received the money . You didn’t buy the items from here, which therefore means we can’t resell the items, since we don’t stock them.”

Customer: “Yes, but [Other Store] is so far away. I don’t have time to go there. I have my receipt. Please give me my money back.”

Cashier: “We never received your money in the first place.”

Customer: “So I’m not getting a refund?”

Cashier: “Not from here I’m afraid.”

(The customer begins to walk away, mumbling.)

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Teaching Them To Be A Smart Cookie

| Wyoming, MI, USA | Right | February 19, 2014

(I am a supervisor in a call center for a large online accommodation site. I get an angry guest escalated to me because she is unhappy about something that has appeared on her screen while browsing our site.)

Me: “Hello. My name is [Name] and I’m a supervisor at [Site]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m am just calling to let you know that I am never using your site! Ever!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I was just browsing hotels in California and porn popped up in a sidebar on your website!”

Me: “I’m sorry that happened, ma’am, but we have no control over that.”

Customer: “Well you better get control over it quick!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, you’re misunderstanding me. The advertisements on the side of your screen are based on your previous browsing history.”

Customer: “I would never go on a site like that!”

Me: “I understand that, ma’am, but I’m just trying to explain the technical aspect of how they work. Being that I work at [Site], I am on our site quite a bit and because of that, all the advertisements on the side are for [Site].”

Customer: “Oh. Well, what do I do?”

Me: “I can walk you through how to get rid of them if you’d like.”

(I walked the customer through how to delete her cookies in her browser and she calmed down. She was very grateful for my help and stated that she was going to have some investigating to do with her husband and kids!)

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In Line And Out Of Line, Part 3

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Right | February 19, 2014

(Today is a busy weekend. I’m working checkout and there is a huge line waiting. In the middle of one of my transactions, a woman cuts everyone in line. The people in line are visibly agitated but just let it go.)

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. I cannot check you out. These customers have been waiting in line patiently for their turn. Please go wait like everyone else.”

Customer: “I’m in a hurry. Please, can you make an exception just this once?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but it just wouldn’t be fair for everyone else in line. Please wait for your turn.”

(After I say this, the customer’s mood quickly swings from a cheery to angry.)

Customer: “This store should treat their customers better! I’m giving them all my hard earned money. You know what? F*** this place and everyone here! You people are f******* idiots! I’m going to shop at [Competitor]!” *storms out without her items*

(As she turns her back and storms off, almost everyone in line, and even some people in other lines, flip her off in unison.)

Related:
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 2
In Line And Out Of Line

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