An Offer Of Fruitcake

| Kent, England, UK | Bizarre

Customer: “Can I borrow a pen?”

Coworker: “Yeah, sure.”

(My coworker hands the customer a pen, and she goes back to her table. However, she returns a few minutes later.)

Customer: “YOU’VE PUT A BEWITCHMENT ON THIS PEN!”

(She throws it hard at my co worker. Turns out she hadn’t taken the lid off. Half an hour later, she approaches another coworker.)

Customer: “Why should I have to queue? I have already done so once!”

Coworker #2: “Because that’s what you have to do in civilised society.”

(The customer queues and buys a piece of cake, then walks into the stock area out back, with PRIVATE written on the door, to find my co worker.)

Customer: “I’m sorry for shouting. Please take this cake.”

Coworker #2: “Sorry, I can’t. We aren’t allowed to eat on duty.”

Customer: “SHUT UP AND EAT THE BLOODY CAKE! I WON’T LEAVE UNTIL YOU DO!”

(While this is going on someone calls the shopping center security. They come remove her from the entire shopping center. Later on that day, she comes back for one last salvo.)

Customer: “I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO ME?!”

Fuel-Good Moments

| PEI, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

(I am working overnight at a gas station when a lady comes in looking very stressed out.)

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

Customer: “I’ve been better. I need gas and I’m hoping my cards work.”

(She places two credit cards and a debit card on the counter.)

Me: *looking at the cards* “You had $20 on pump 3, right?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(At this point, I pull my wallet out and pay for her gas.)

Customer: *tearing up* “Why did you do that?”

Me: “I’ve been in your shoes and it sucks, so I like to help out whenever I can.”

Customer: *struggling to hold back tears* “Thank you so so much. I promise to pay you back!”

Me: “Don’t worry about it, please enjoy the rest of your evening!”

(A few days later she came back in trying her hardest for me to take the money, but I wouldn’t. She comes in every night talk to me, so I made a new friend!)

An Extra Bag Of Hot Air

| Helsinki, Finland | At The Checkout, Top

(I’m serving a customer at the register, with items well into a triple digit total. He’s staring at the price display like a hawk. Even though there’s no line, I’m scanning as fast as I can.)

Customer: “I think you charged me three bags.”

(I look and see that one of the two carrier bags he had had indeed scanned twice. I void the extra bag.)

Me: “Oops, sorry about that!”

Customer: “There really should be a training program for you people.”

Me: “I’ve been trained for this, sir.”

Customer: “Well sure as s*** doesn’t look like it. How hard could it possibly be to scan each item once and only once?”

Me: “It happens. I fixed it, as you can see from the display.”

Customer: “But you’ve wasted my time with your incompetence!”

(My manager is walking by, sees the commotion, and approaches.)

Customer: “You really should be fired. I don’t think it’s too much to f***ing ask for you people to do your jobs properly. Perhaps if you had paid attention in school and not fooled around all the time, you wouldn’t be doing this s*** now. Moron!”

Me: “I apologize for the error.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not really good enough, s***head! This happens every time! The only reason I don’t go to the other store across the street is because they’re even more f***ing idiotic over there!”

Me: “I’ve corrected the mistake now. You will only pay for the items you’re actually buying.”

Customer: “But how the f*** can I be sure of that now?! I only get the f***ing receipt after I’ve paid! I’m left trusting potheads and morons like you to handle this s*** properly, but I guess you can’t even do that! Un-f***ing-believable!”

(At this point, my manager comes over and speaks up.)

Manager: “You make an excellent point, sir. I will fire this employee immediately, and your purchases today are free of charge.”

Customer: “Really?!”

Manager: “No. F*** off!”

(With that, my manager closes my register and motions me to follow him. We leave for break, leaving the customer standing there, stunned.)

Don’t Fold Under Pressure

| UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I work in a local bookshop that was recently taken over by a large chain store. Because of this, the manager is often in the other shop down the road, as they trust me to be able to handle anything. This shop also sells items for gift wrapping.)

Customer: “I have looked everywhere for your christening gift wrap. I find it disgusting that you don’t carry any. Get me your manager.”

Me: “I apologise, but I’m currently the only worker in the store. I’m sure we carry gift wrap for christening. Have you checked down the isle to your left?”

(The customer angrily goes to look. She comes back with some gift wrap mumbling about how I should be fired for being alone.)

Customer: “This one says ‘new baby’. That’s basically the same thing as christening, right?”

Me: “Uh, sure. Would you like this rolled or folded?”

Customer: “Ugh. You and your questions. Just roll it!”

(I begin to roll it.)

Customer: “No, no! What are you doing?! Are you deaf? I said fold.”

Me: “…of course, ma’am. I apologise.” *begins to gently fold it*

Customer: “No, no! What are you doing?! Don’t fold it. You’ll crease the paper. Then what will the baby think?! Give it here, I’ll do it myself!”

Me: “I apologise for creasing the paper. Here you go…”

Customer: *aggressively folds the paper anyway and leaves*

Did A Real Number On That Order

| Worcester, England, UK | Extra Stupid

(A customer calls up, saying she checked her account online and saw her order was cancelled.)

Customer: “Why was it cancelled? I never asked it to be cancelled!”

Me: “Well, it looks like when the order was placed, but the CVC was input incorrectly, so we were unable to take payment.”

Customer: “Well, who put it in incorrectly!?”

Me: “Umm, it was actually you who placed it online.”

Customer: “Well, why did no one bother calling me to let me know there was a problem!?”

Me: “When you set the order up online, you didn’t provide us with a contact number.”

Customer: *hangs up*

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