Putting The Situation On To A Knife-Edge

| Right | January 24, 2014

I Have A Sinking Feeling, Part 2

| IL, USA | Right | January 23, 2014

(Our beach normally has a 15-minute swim break to clear the water to make sure no one is missing, and to allow the lifeguards a short break. Today is incredibly busy and hot, and we are extremely understaffed since most of the college students have returned to school. The manager has just announced a 30-minute swim break. I am at the beach gate, where we collect the entrance fees.)

Woman: *in a rude tone* “Who just made that announcement? Where is that person?”

Me: “The beach manager. They are in the lifeguard office. Is there something I can help you with?”

Woman: “What do they mean a 30-minute swim break?! That’s ridiculous!”

Me: “Well, we always have a 15-minute swim break, but today they are extending it to 30 minutes for a few reasons. For one, since there are so many people it takes more time to clear the water. Also, we are understaffed today and have already had one lifeguard go home sick. The longer break allows the lifeguards time for a break so they can be focused when they go on the stands.”

Woman: “This is insane! I can’t believe this place! How inconsiderate!” *storms off*

Related:
I Have A Sinking Feeling

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Mr. Tambourine Can

| ON, Canada | Right | January 23, 2014

(I work in a music store that sells musical instruments and sheet music. The phone rings.)

Me: “[Music Store]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi. Do you have a ten-inch tambourine?”

Me: “We might. Just a minute, I’ll go check.”

(I come back to the phone holding the requested item.)

Me: “Hello. Yes, we do have one in stock.”

Caller: “So can you tell me how big it is?”

Me: “Um… It’s ten inches.”

(There’s a moment of silence, and then I realize that it’s a somewhat valid question as the caller may not know how tambourines are measured: diameter, circumference or radius… although the latter two would be pretty strange, I think. Still, I give him the benefit of the doubt and add:)

Me: “… in diameter.”

Caller: “So, is that like, the size of the lid on a paint can?”

Me: “I don’t know. Is it a ten-inch paint can?”

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Beware Of Customers Bearing Gifts

| CO, USA | Right | January 23, 2014

(I am working as a cashier during the holiday rush. One of my jobs is to ask each customer if they would like a gift card or gift receipts with their purchase. I have just finished ringing up a woman and have moved on to her boyfriend, who only has one item: pants, clearly for himself.)

Me: “How’s it going today, sir?”

Customer: “Good. You?”

Me: “Good thanks. Would you like any gift cards or gift re—”

Customer: “No, man. I’m good. Just ring me up.”

(I nod and continue the transaction. I tell him the total. He slides his card and I press the button that prints the receipt, also clearing the transaction from on screen.)

Me: “Here’s your receipt.”

Customer: “Can I get a gift receipt?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. It’s already too late.”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “Well, sir, since you already confirmed the transaction and it has gone through the system, you would have to return the item and re-buy it to allow me to get to the gift receipt option.”

Customer: “Are you kidding me? What happens if the pants don’t fit and I need to return them?”

Me: “We do offer a 30-day return policy. All you need is the original receipt, which I just gave you.”

Customer: “This is bulls***! What happens if it takes me longer than thirty days to decide if they fit?”

(Before the customer gets anymore worked up, his girlfriend jumps in.)

Girlfriend: “Don’t worry about it, honey. He asked you at the beginning of the transaction if you wanted a gift receipt. You said no. Now you have to deal with it. Now let’s go before you gotta walk out of this store single.”

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No Whining

| Right | January 23, 2014

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