Should Have Saved The Date In Their Advent Calendar

| OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Hi, ma’am. Welcome to [Toy Store]. Can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “Yeah. Do you guys still sell Advent calendars here?”

(It’s December 10th, halfway through Advent.)

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. We’ve been out of Advent calendars since mid-November. We didn’t even have any for Black Friday, unfortunately.”

Customer: “So you don’t have any?”

Me: “No. But we do them every year, so there’s already next year.”

Customer: “Ah, shoot. I was really looking forward to getting one for the kids.”

Me: “Yeah. With something like that I always recommend getting them as early as possible. Definitely before December.”

Customer: “When is the next time you’ll be getting them in?”

Me: “Next September.”

Tis The Season To Be Deaf To Reason

| ME, USA | Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Hello, ma’am! How are you doing today?”

Customer: “Oh, just fine. Thanks. Last minute preparations. Are you ready for Christmas?”

Me: “I suppose you can say that.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, I don’t celebrate Christmas. So I’m always ready for it, in a way.”

Customer: “What?! Why don’t you celebrate Christmas?”

Me: “I’m not Christian.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: *a little slower* “I’m not Christian.”

Customer: *louder* “What?”

Me: “I’m an atheist.”

Customer: *near shouting* “I’m just not understanding!”

Me: “I don’t believe that any god exists.”

Customer: “WHAT? I JUST AM NOT UNDERSTANDING!”

Me: “…I celebrate Christmas.”

Customer: *in normal volume* “Well, of course, dear. Everyone does! Merry Christmas and God bless!”

(She gives me a jaunty wave and heads out if the store. My bagger turns to me.)

Bagger: “Am I in crazy-town?”

Me: “Apparently we’re in Bethlehem.”

He’s Furbious

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Holidays, Spouses & Partners, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I am working the register in the store where we sell electronics including toys, like Furbies, robot dogs, etc. A scruffy-looking customer comes in, followed moments later by twenty-something woman and her boyfriend. The couple begin looking at tablets, when the woman spots our Furbies.)

Woman: “Oh look, Furbies. They’re so cute! These must be new ones. They have digital eyes! They’re smaller than mine, too. Hey, Furby!”

(She starts to have a silly conversation with the Furby. Her genuine excitement is pretty adorable. I exchange an appreciative smile with her boyfriend as she chatters away. Suddenly, the scruffy customer storms over to them and grabs the Furby, throwing it hard to the ground. I come running.)

Boyfriend: “What the h*** are you doing?!”

Me: “Excuse me. If that Furby is broken, I’ll need you to pay for the damage. Now, please back off.”

Scruffy Customer: *aiming abuse at the woman* “F*** the lot of you! She was doing my head in. The stupid little b**** is acting like a kid. Are you special?! Did you get out early from your special school, *****? People like you f*** off! I f****** hate people like you when I’m trying to f****** buy stuff!”

(The woman is clearly speechless and her eyes are watering. Her boyfriend is livid and yells at the guy. I quickly pick up the Furby to check it’s not broken. The guy starts flailing his arms and tells the boyfriend that he’s going to ‘do him in.’)

Me: “Get out now, mate. You’ve threatened violence to my customers, and us three are witnesses. I’ll call the police right now. Leave.”

Scruffy Customer: “Aye. Well, **** you too you, cow. Both you f***s!”

(The boyfriend suddenly grabs the scruffy customer by the collar and turfs him out of the shop. The scruffy customer clearly gets a fright at the boyfriend’s strength and runs for it, cursing all the way down the street.)

Me: “I’m so sorry about that guy. What a moron. Are you guys okay?”

(The woman nods, crying a little, and her boyfriend cuddles her.)

Boyfriend: “I couldn’t take any more of that. She has Asperger’s, and sometimes can seem a bit childish to people who don’t know her. Thanks for trying to help.”

Me: “Ah. No problem. I hate seeing anyone get hassled by an idiot like him. Hey, I’m going to log this Furby as being smashed by a customer. I’d have to bin it, so you can just take it if you want.”

Woman: “Oh, no. That’s okay. I don’t want you to get in trouble. There are security cameras in here and you could get into bother for being seen doing that.”

Me: “Nah. My boss is more like a mate. He’d understand if it came up. Trust me. Here. It sounds like you struck a bond with it, anyway!”

(We all laugh and chat for a little while longer before they leave with their new Furby. Two days later I came in to work to find a Christmas card had been left for me, by them, as well as a £15 gift card with a note saying my lunch was on them for being so nice!)