Wiggled Out Of That One

| West Chester, PA, USA | Right | February 1, 2014

(I am the stupid customer in this one. I have just bought a wig from a friend for a costume I am working on and am wearing it to break it in and get used to the feel. I am also wearing contacts, but keep my glasses in my pocket in case the contacts begin to irritate me. I go to a local corner store for a pack of cigarettes.)

Cashier: “May I see your ID?”

Me: (*gives ID*)

Cashier: “…um. Sir, this isn’t you.”

Me: “What do you mean it’s– Oh, s***. One moment.”

(I remove the wig and put on my glasses.)

Me: “Better?”

Cashier: (*confused*) “I, um… Sure, that’s a match.”

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Going All Godzilla On You

| Boston, MA, USA | Right | February 1, 2014

(Two Caucasian customers, wearing sweatshirts from a local university, walk in to our Chinese restaurant.)

Me: “Welcome to [Name] Chinese restaurant. What can I get for you?”

Customer #1: “I’m here to pick up an order for [Name].”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you asked for delivery when you placed the order. The food left for [address] 15 minutes ago.”

Customer #1: “Ouch. Can you have the driver come back?”

Me: “The driver has two other deliveries, so it will be another half an hour.”

Customer #1: “I don’t want to wait that long. Tell the driver to give it to one of the homeless people near [University].”

(At this point, Customer #2, who has been silent the whole time, starts screaming.)

Customer #2: *to Customer #1* “Yo, man. I want my food. Make this a**-hole give me some food!” *to me* “Jap b****, give me my godd*** food. Didn’t the A-bomb teach you b******s some respect?”

(Customer #2 then makes a number of additional ethnic slurs against the Japanese.)

Bystander: “Hi, there. I’m sorry to interrupt your tantrum, but I’ve had enough of it and I’d like for you to leave.”

Customer #1: “I’m sorry. I have no idea what’s gotten into him.”

Customer #2: “I’m not leaving without my food. You can’t make me leave. You’re not the manager!”

Bystander: “You’re right. I can’t make you leave the restaurant. I can, however, make you leave [University], being that I’m the provost.”

(Customer #2 goes pale and bolts out of the restaurant!)

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Top 5 Not Always Right Stories Of January 2014

Not Always Right | Right | February 1, 2014

January 2014 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Right’s top-rated stories for last month!

  1. Went On A Jurassic Lark (3,453 thumbs up)
  2. Should Stop Giving Herself A Good Dressing Down (3,120 thumbs up)
  3. This Patron Has A Drinking Problem (2,826 thumbs up)
  4. Credited Childsplay (2,779 thumbs up)
  5. Got Their Cables Crossed (2,741 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Top 5 Not Always Right Stories Of January 2014

| Not Always Right | Right | February 1, 2014

January 2014 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Right’s top-rated stories for last month!

  1. Went On A Jurassic Lark (3,453 thumbs up)
  2. Should Stop Giving Herself A Good Dressing Down (3,120 thumbs up)
  3. This Patron Has A Drinking Problem (2,826 thumbs up)
  4. Credited Childsplay (2,779 thumbs up)
  5. Got Their Cables Crossed (2,741 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Self Checkout Is Soul Destroying

| Right | February 1, 2014

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