Teaching A Righteous Dimwit Is Stressful

, | USA | Geeks Rule, Language & Words

(My friend and I are really big Doctor Who fans, and we are also crafty. One day, she makes me a T.A.R.D.I.S. bracelet out of duct tape. FYI: the T.A.R.D.I.S. is the Doctor’s transport and is in the shape of big, blue police box. I am working in the drive-thru when this took place.)

Me: “Hello, that is going to be [price].”

Customer: *hands me her money*

Me: “Your change is [amount].”

Customer: “What an interesting bracelet!”

Me: “Oh, thank you. A friend of mine made it.”

Customer: “What is it supposed to be?”

(I’m holding my hand out so that she can take a better look at it.)

Me: “It’s a Tardis.”

Customer: *blank look*

Me: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “That is just terrible!”

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: “Using the ‘R’ word isn’t bad enough for you kids? Now you have to come up with some slang term? That is terrible!”

Me: “The… ‘R’ word?”

Customer: “RETARD!”

Me: “Ma’am, the Tardis is a shop from a sci-fi show… not slang for retard.”

Customer: “Don’t you give me any excuses, little missy. You are in a lot of trouble. Wearing something to promote calling retards retarded is despicable. I need to speak to your manager!”

(Despite trying to explain otherwise, my manager had to give her a free coupon to keep her from calling corporate to complain. I also can’t wear the bracelet to work anymore. It sometimes sucks being a nerdy girl in a small town.)

To Hole And Back

| Montana, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

Customer: “Why do you have that swimsuit?”

Me: “My coworker found a rip in the seam of this one. I have to fill out a sheet so we can send it back.”

(The customer grabs the swimsuit from my hands.)

Customer: “This is my size! Don’t you dare send it back! I need it!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, this one has a hole in it. I’m sure we have more swimsuits in your size—”

Customer: “Not this color! You just don’t want me to have it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there is a fairly large hole here…”

(I show her by putting my fingers through the hole. It’s large enough to fit 3 fingers.)

Customer: “I don’t care about a stupid hole. I’m buying this!”

(The customer buys the suit despite my explanation. The next day, the she comes back while I am working the return counter.)

Customer: “I want my money back! This stupid swimsuit you sold me has a giant hole in it!”

Me: *speechless*

Sometimes, The Gas Is Half Full

| Wisconsin, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Transportation

(It is about 10:30 at night and my shift is done in 30 minutes. I am alone as my coworker has gone home sick an hour ago. Everything is going fine until a young guy, about 19, shows up. He comes in and prepays $50 of diesel and goes out to pump gas. I notice he has starts the wrong pump and has already gotten $8 worth of unpaid for gas when I go out.)

Me: “Excuse me,sir, but you accidentally grabbed the wrong pump.”

Customer: “Well, the other one wouldn’t work.”

Me: “Okay, I will void out the $50 then and just add the remainder to the $8 so you can continue on the same pump.”

(Note: I have anxiety very bad, so if I get nervous I freeze up and forget how to do simple tasks. The customer, who has been fairly nice up to this point, suddenly becomes very agitated.)

Customer: “Well, hurry the f*** up! I want to get out of here!”

(I go inside and he follows, all the while yelling and getting angrier as I try to void out the prepay. However, my anxiety has kicked in and I can’t remember how to do the transaction.)

Customer: “What the f*** is taking you so long?! I want to get home. Hurry up and do your job!”

(My anxiety keeps getting worse, so I call in my coworker to come help. Meanwhile, the customer keeps yelling.)

Customer: “You’re a worthless employee! I’m going to call your manager and get you fired!”

(He keeps going on until my coworker gets there and fixes everything. The customer hasn’t stopped yelling or hurling insults the whole time. I start having an anxiety attack and begin crying.)

Customer: “Finally, someone who knows how to do their job! I’ll make sure you get fired, you dumb b****!”

(He walks out, when a few minutes later another guy, Customer #2, comes in. Apparently, Customer #2 was riding in the same car as the first customer. He grabs a small thing of gum and leans in against the counter, setting it down along with some money.)

Customer #2: “Hey, I’m really sorry about him. I know it isn’t much, but here’s a little bit of money. I’m just grabbing the gum so he doesn’t know what I’m doing.”

(I am dumbfounded as Customer #2 walks out. Oh, and the money? I had a completely empty tank and was stressing out all day about it. My car lasted just enough time on the money he gave me!)

Just Tell Him The Title, Pure And Simplex

| WA, USA | Rude & Risque, Top

(A customer approaches the counter with his girlfriend/partner. He wants to make sure that he has returned all of his items. The only book left on his account is one on a sensitive topic.)

Me: “Well, it looks like there is just one… uh… health book on here.”

Customer: “What? What ‘health book?’ I don’t have no ‘health’ books out.”

Me: “Uh… it is a book about a… specific illness. If you like, I can show you how to look up your account information in private at our website.”

Customer: “No, no, no! I don’t have time for all that. Just tell me what the dang book is!”

Me: “It’s called Managing Herpes.”

(The girlfriend’s eyes go wide and she turns to the customer.)

Customer’s Girlfriend: “You… what… but you said… WHAT?!”

(Both of them left quickly after that!)

Please Pound Into Her Head We Don’t Use Dollars

| UK | Money, Top, Tourists/Travel

(A tourist in front of me just ordered a coffee.)

Cashier: “That will be £6.10, please.”

Tourist: *hands him two USD $5 bills*

Cashier: “We only accept English sterling.”

Tourist: “So, you don’t take dollar bills?”

Cashier: “No, only English sterling.”

Tourist: *to her husband* “I can’t believe it! They only accept English sterling!”

Another Customer: “Well, it’s ENGLAND!”

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