Uncoiling His Plot

, | MD, USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

(I am a female that works for an retail parts shop. Because of this, a lot of people believe they can pull one over on me.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes I need a coil pack for my car.”

Me: “Okay, what is the year, make and model?” *he tells me his car* “Okay. I have a coil pack in stock for $89.99.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I called Competing Parts Store], and they said they had it for $34.99.”

Me: “Okay, hon, no problem.”

(I know this is wrong, since I am familiar with how our rivals tend to price things. I proceed to call the other store, and get their actual pricing.)

Me: “All right, hon, looks like they made a mistake with you. They actually list their coil pack at $91.99, but seeing as their economy pack is $87.99 I can go ahead and match that price for you.”

Customer: “Um… well, it was actually their online price.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we do not match online pricing in store. But you are more then welcome to purchase online, hon.”

(I hear the guy’s friend whisper to him.)

Friend: “I told you it wasn’t gonna work.”

No ID, No Idea, Part 13

| Drexel Hill, PA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

(I have recently been hired at a pharmacy a few towns over from mine. It’s my second day as cashier, when a teen girl comes to my register. I’m 22 and wearing a name tag.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a pack of [Brand] cigarettes, please.”

Me: “No problem. I just need to see your ID.”

Customer: “Oh, well it’s at my house and I don’t have time to run back and get it. Can’t you let me go this time?”

Me: “Sorry, it’s not worth my job.”

Customer: “But you know me!”

Me: “I can’t say that I do.”

Customer: “Dude, [My Name], we go to high school together.”

Me: “Oh, really? What high school do you go to?”

Customer: “[Local High School]. We totally have English together.”

Me: “Yeah, no. First of all I went to [Rival High School]. Second, I was in AP English, the scores of which I used to go to [University], which I just graduated from. So, no, I don’t know you. Show me ID or move along.”

Customer: “You suck.”

(She left and asked the next few visibly older customers to buy her cigarettes. No one bought them, and one even threatened to call the cops if she didn’t leave!)

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 12
No ID, No Idea, Part 11
No ID, No Idea, Part 10
No ID, No Idea, Part 9

Moments You Wish You Had A Camera For

, | Sacramento, CA, USA | Retail, Office Supply Store | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Technology

(My store sells desks and other office furniture. A customer who recently purchased a desk comes marching into the store, looking angry.)

Customer: “YOUR COMPANY IS SPYING ON ITS CUSTOMERS!”

Coworker: “What?”

Customer: “You’re spying on your customers!”

Coworker: “How do you figure?”

Customer: “I just bought a desk from you guys, and on the instructions it says there’s a ‘hidden cam’ I’m supposed to install!”

Coworker: “Sir, a cam-screw is just a type of screw. This one’s called a hidden cam because after you build everything, you won’t be able to see the screw any more.”

Customer: “No, it’s a camera! You’re trying to steal information about people, and sell it to the government!”

Coworker: “Sir, why would my company waste hundreds of thousands of dollars sneaking cameras into desks, cameras that are covered up by other pieces of the furniture and pointed at the floor?”

Customer: “Well they could be listening in on my conversations!”

Me: “Wouldn’t it be called a ‘hidden mic,’ then?”

Coworker: “And why would we go so far as to clearly label the hidden cam as a hidden cam?”

Customer: *leaves, defeated*