Understanding In All But Name

| IN, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

Me: “Hi! What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I need to cash my check.”

Me: “Sure! I’ll need to see your ID please.”

Customer: “Why? It’s MY check!”

Me: “I understand, but I’ve never waited on you before. I need to verify that it is your check.”

Customer: “But it’s MY check!”

Me: “But I don’t know that. I don’t know you.”

Customer: “It has my NAME on it!”

Me: “But I don’t know your name. I’ve never waited on you before. I have to make sure that the right person gets their money.”

Customer: “My name is on the check!”

Me: “Ma’am, what if you dropped the check outside and someone else brought it in to cash? Would you want me to cash it for them?”

Customer: “No, because they aren’t me!”

Me: “How would I know that?”

Customer: “Because MY name is on the check!”

Me: *sighs*

Preorder Disorder, Part 2

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a family style restaurant that offers free bread, salad, dessert, and tea or coffee with all entrees. One particular shift I’m notified I will be taking a birthday party of 15 kids, but they need to be out at a certain time for a movie. The group comes in 15 minutes past their reservation.)

Mother: “Did you receive my preorder? I gave your manager our complete order so we can catch our movie on time.”

Me: “Yes, I received it. The bread and waters are already on the table like you requested. I’m just about to bring out the salads, and the kitchen is already working on your order.”

Mother: “Fine. But talk to the kids and see what else they want to drink. My son wants pop.”

(She has me stand there reciting all of our drinks to the 15 boys multiple times, as they all choose different items. Before I walk away to make the drinks the mother speaks up.)

Mother: “Excuse me? Why aren’t the salads out yet?”

Me: “I was just going to get them before the boys needed more drinks. I didn’t see them on the preorder so they’ll have to be made now.”

Mother: “You know we’re trying to catch a movie don’t you?!”

(I quickly bring out the salads, and rush the drinks out to all the boys. Before I can go back to the kitchen to see how the meals are, I’m stopped again.)

Mother: “As you know, we are in a rush, so my husband and I will have our teas right now. I prefer cream in my tea, my husband will take milk, but we want them both heated up.”

Me: “Of course. I’ll be right back with them.”

Mother: “Why haven’t you checked on our food yet?”

(I go back to the kitchen and see the order is being finished. I have time to bring out the teas before I bring all of the food.)

Me: “Here are your teas, and now I’ll go and get the meals.”

Mother: “No, hold on. I want to order for me and my husband. We should eat something before the movie.”

(It is a busy Saturday night, and the kitchen is backed up.)

Mother: “We’ll have two steaks, medium, with a side of fries.”

Me: “All right. I will put a rush on your order because I know you have to leave soon. But I should let you know steaks do take a bit longer to prepare.”

Mother: “We ordered what we wanted! If we wanted something else we would have gotten that! Now where is their food?!”

(I run back to the kitchen to place the rush order, and bring out the boys’ food. Everything is handed out and fine, when I’m approached again.)

Mother: “This pesto linguine for my son is nut free, correct? It was on the preorder that he is deathly allergic!”

(I know there was nothing on the preorder about an allergy, and even show her the paper she gave us. I take the pesto linguine away since, obviously, there are nuts in it, and get him something nut free immediately.)

Mother: “You need to be more careful! He almost ate that!”

(By the time the boys are finished eating, plus the parents, and I’ve given them their desserts, it’s the time they should have left. The mother comes up to me and starts freaking out about the movie time.)

Mother: “I can’t believe how unprofessional you are. You knew we had a movie to catch!”

(They all leave 15 minutes later, and the mother doesn’t leave me a tip on a $250 bill. She talks to my manager on the way out.)

Manager: *to me* “Hey, I want to talk to you. Thanks for handling that table so well! She comes in every year for her son’s birthday and pulls that crap. Don’t take her personally. We’ve all had to deal with her here. I just can’t believe you didn’t break down like a few of us did!”

(A few people in the lobby who have been waiting for a table witnessed some of her pleasantries, and were seated in my section afterwards. They tipped very, very generously after seeing me cater to her every whim!)

Related:
Preorder Disorder

Self Checkout Is Soul Destroying

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Technology, Top

(I am working the control center for the self checkouts when I overhear a customer having a conversation with the self checkout machine.)

Self Checkout: “Are you using your own bags?”

Customer: “NO. I’M USING THE SOULS OF SMALL CHILDREN. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?!”

Self Checkout: “Please place the item in the bagging area.”

See this story as a comic!