We Think Of You As A Client

| Right | July 15, 2014

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Take A Swipe At Reading

| Raleigh, NC, USA | Right | July 15, 2014

(The card reader in my store is a little different, in that it asks you to select credit or debit before you swipe. It is much more intuitive than most, and the machine gives very explicit instructions, but it still trips people up. The following happens at least 10 times a day.)

Me: “Your total is [total]. Go ahead and select credit or debit on the screen first, and then swipe.”

Customer: “Credit.” *swipes card*

Me: “You’ll need to hit the credit button first, and then you can swipe.”

Customer: *swipes card*

Me: “Ma’am, if you’re using credit, you’ll need to hit the blue button on the screen. After you do that, you can swipe your card.”

Customer: *hits button on screen*

(Screen now reads, in large letters, PLEASE SWIPE CARD.)

Customer: *stares blankly at screen*

Me: “Ma’am… swipe your card now.”

Customer: *swipes card* “Why is it asking for a PIN? This doesn’t have a PIN, it’s a credit card! Why doesn’t your machine work?!”

Me: “It’s asking for a PIN, because you hit the green debit button instead of the blue credit button. Hit CANCEL, and we can start this again…”

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Don’t Assume You Nose Everything

| Bozeman, MT, USA | Right | July 15, 2014

(I have allergies and early spring usually leaves me snuffling and sneezing. Even most meds don’t work well unless they knock me out, which means I can’t take them before work.)

Customer: “So are you into coke? Because your nose is stuffy.”

Me: *staring in shock*

Customer: “Well, I didn’t mean to be rude!”

Me: “No, it’s allergies. Here are your room keys.”

(I guess stuffy nose equals illegal drugs.)

A Lack Of Volume Control

| Cumbria, England, UK | Right | July 15, 2014

Customer: “I’d like a pint and a half of lager and a bitter shandy.”

Me: “A pint or a half?”

(Customer looks confused.)

Me: “Of bitter shandy?”

Customer: “A pint and a half.”

Me: “Of the lager?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “And would you like a pint or a half of the bitter shandy?”

Customer: “No, a pint and a half of lager and a bitter shandy.”

Me: “And would you like a pint or a half of bitter shandy?”

Customer: “No, I want a pint and a half of…” *pauses* “Oh, yeah a half of bitter shandy, please.

A Spoonful Of Violence Helps The Medicine Go Down

| OH, USA | Right | July 15, 2014

(I am on quite a few prescription medicines, one of which costs $170. I am picking up four refills.)

Pharmacy Clerk: “This one is $1.17. The second is $7.79. And the third is…”

(He trails off and takes a few steps back from the counter separating us.)

Pharmacy Clerk: “Uh… do you know how much this costs?”

Me: “If it’s the [Brand Name Medicine], then it will be about $170.”

(He looks relieved and returns to the register.)

Pharmacy Clerk: “Sorry. On my first week on the job, a customer assaulted me after hearing the price of his medicine.”

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