Food For Thought-ful

| Durant, OK, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(I work in a gift shop inside a very successful casino. Our department is very small, and has suffered a few losses of faculty leaving us shorthanded for a small period. I am working a late shift unable to take any breaks but I don’t mind it. I’m used to being on my feet, but I am feeling very hungry. A customer comes in with bags of food wanting a few candy bars.)

Me: “Oh my gosh, that smells so good.”

Customer: “Yeah, double cheeseburger, onion rings and chili fries! I’m feeling hungry tonight!”

Me: “Oh man, me too! I haven’t had a chance to eat today.”

Customer: “You haven’t? Well, why not?!”

Me: “The store is open 24 hours, and there’s no one else here to break me. It’s only for a little while though, and my relief comes in at midnight.”

Customer: “But that’s so long!”

Me: “It’s not that long, but that smell sure is making me hungry!”

Customer: “You want me to order you some food?”

Me: “Sir, you don’t have to do that!”

Customer: “I want to!”

(I continue ringing him up and hand him back his change.)

Me: *chuckles* “Alright, thank you, sir. You have a good night.”

Customer: “You the same!”

(The customer leaves and the offer slips my mind as I continue working. Sure enough, about an hour later a drink-girl comes in with a tray full of all the food he described! I was astounded! Thank you, sir, for your generosity!)

Past The Point Of No Return, Part 3

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this.”

Me: “Okay. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I bought this yesterday, and it stopped working. I’d like my money back, please.”

(There are a few different things wrong with what the customer has just said: although the item she brought back is indeed something that we sell, it looks severely worn out, and the box that it is currently in is an older design. There is no way that this could have been purchased ‘yesterday.’ But since I can’t be accusatory just yet, I try to diffuse the situation.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have my receipt.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but without a receipt, we cannot do anything.”

Customer: “Can’t you look it up by my credit card number?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but our system cannot trace back credit card purchases. But if you bring your receipt, I promise you, we will take care of everything.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(The customer leaves the store. I thought it would be the end of it, because it’s highly unlikely that she would have a valid receipt. Not even five minutes later, she comes back.)

Customer: “I found my receipt. I’d like my money back, please.”

(True to her word, she has a genuine receipt! I carefully read it over. The item on the receipt matches the item she is trying to return, but the date of the receipt reads January of 2012. We’re in the middle of 2013 at this point.)

Me: “Ma’am, the receipt says you bought this in January of 2012. I’m sorry, but I can’t help you.”

Customer: “You promised me that you would take care of it if I brought the receipt! You’re a liar!”

Me: “Ma’am, you told me you purchased this yesterday. The receipt is from over a year ago, and the box is an older design. You’re way past our 30-day return period, and you’ve been dishonest with me.”

Customer: “So… I’m not getting my money back?”

Me: “Nope. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Related:
Past The Point Of No Return, Part 2
Past The Point Of No Return

This Customer Is Not From Concentrate

, | UK | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(We have three flavours of slushy in our slushy machine: raspberry, cherry and orange. Raspberry is blue, cherry is pink and orange is obviously orange. Customers usually refer to the slushy they want by the colors.)

Customer: “What flavour is the orange slushy?”

Me: “Orange flavoured.”

Customer: “I know what the color is, I want to know the FLAVOUR.”

Me: “It’s orange flavoured, ma’am, just like the fruit.”

(The customer suddenly starts screaming at me.)

Woman: “WHAT IS THE FLAVOUR! I CAN SEE THE COLOR OF THE D*** THING! WHAT FLAVOUR IS IT?!”

(The customer’s daughter chimes in.)

Customer’s Daughter: “Mum! It’s like orange juice! Chill out!”

Woman: “Orange juice? Jeez, why couldn’t she just tell me that?! Two of those, please!”

(The customer is perfectly pleasant with me for the rest of the transaction, and wanders off with her slushy happily!)