(I am working behind the register on my first ever day of employment. It is also a particularly busy day. I am finalizing the purchase and handing the customer her bag…)
Me: “Thank you for shopping at [Store]; have a nice day!”
(The customer snaps her head up, gasping, while simultaneously dropping her bag of goods to the floor.)
Customer: “What did you say?”
Me: “I thanked you for shopping here, and told you to have a good d—”
Customer: “I know what you said! You told me to have a good DEATH!”
Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you that I did not say anything of the kind.”
Customer: “You DID! You DID and it’s YOU that should be dying, YOU B****! I can assure you that I’ll be taking this further!”
(There is an unimpressed looking customer next in line.)
Next Customer: “Lady, pick up your s*** and get out of here, or I’ll kill you myself.”
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(I have an excellent memory. I work at a tool store and have memorized every model number. When customers walk up to the counter, I type in the numbers and give them the total before they put the items down. )
Me: “That’ll be [total].”
Customer: “How did you do that? You didn’t scan anything.”
Coworker: “He’s ‘Rain Man.’ He has everything in this store memorized.”
(The customer grabs a random saw blade from a nearby stack.)
Customer: “What about this?”
(I rattle off the price, UPC, and price with tax.)
Customer: “Ha! That isn’t the model number.”
Coworker: “Look at the barcode.”
(The customer reads the 12-digit number, and is dumbfounded.)
Me: “To be fair those things never scan. It’s one of the UPCs I have memorized.”
Customer: “So… want to go Vegas?”
(I’m now a network engineer and shock my coworkers constantly with how I have the entire network’s IP and subnets memorized. I earned the nickname ‘Rain Man’ again.)