Real Superheroes Are In The Running

| Kissimiee, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule

(I am part of a charity group that dresses up like superheroes. We are attending a 5k run to benefit a children’s charity, cheering on over 1000 runners. The guys dressed as Superman and the Flash agreed to run the first fifth of the race.)

Batgirl cosplayer: “There’s Superman!”

Superman cosplayer: “Hey guys. Lost Flash back there… so, we’re near the finish line?”

Me: “There’s the finish line.”

Superman cosplayer: “Nice!”

Route supervisor: “First runner coming!”

(We all start cheering and clapping, like we are supposed to.)

Superman cosplayer: “Oh, thank god it’s him!”

Me: “Huh?”

Superman cosplayer: “When Flash and I were lining up, a bunch of the ‘professional’ runners shoved us out of the way so we wouldn’t slow down their start. One of the runners told them to back off.”

(We all cheer loudly as we see the heroic runner cross the finish line for a first place finish.)

Superman cosplayer: “And here come some more ‘pros’. Wait, what the…”

(Running with the ‘professionals’ is a boy who looks about eight. As the event is about kids, we cheer him instead. He beats half of them!)

Me: “You go kiddo! You beat the Flash!”

(Both the first place finisher and the little boy came back to thank us for cheering them on. It was awesome!)

A Brush With Stupidity

| Haifa, Israel | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Top

(I’m the manager of a pizzeria. I have all my employees keep their hair very short and clean-shaven. This happens when a customer comes up after just having been served her pizza. Everyone working this shift also has black hair.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but there’s a long, blond hair in my pizza!”

(She stares at me as though expecting me to do something. She also has long blond hair.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but that hair didn’t come from us.”

Customer: “But it’s on my pizza! You have to do something!”

Me: “I don’t know what I can do other than to give you directions to the nearest drug store to buy a comb.”

The Lamp Isn’t The Only Thing That Needs Rewiring

| VA, USA | Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

(A tweaker-looking kid comes up to my cash register holding an old lamp that clearly needs professional rewiring. I am no electrician; I’m merely a cashier.)

Customer: “Do you sell a cord that plugs into this to make it work?”

(I look closely at the lamp.)

Me: “I see that it has no place to plug any modern cord. You will need to speak with someone in the electrical department for help with rewiring it.”

Customer: *bursts into a sing-song yell* “I wish you knew how to do your d*** job!”

(He then runs off in circles, drops some merchandise and heads for the exit.)

Customer: “Kiss my royal f***ing a**!”

Me: “Just leave. Go away. Don’t come back again!”

(The boy continues swearing and flipping the bird. He has to be escorted out. My manager approaches me.)

Manager: “Is it a full moon?”

(Later on, a coworker from the electrical department comes up to the manager.)

Coworker: “Did you see a dirty guy with a brass lamp? He just hit me and called me a monkey while I was with a customer!”

So Pho, So Crazy, Part 3

| USA | Awesome Workers, Bigotry, Food & Drink

(I work at a small snack bar in a sports center. We have just hired a new cook who is of Asian descent. I am on light duty, as I’d sprained my ankle the day before and the new guy stayed after he was scheduled to help. One of my regulars walks in, and when he sees the cooks he turns towards me with a disgusted look on his face.)

Customer: “What’s this? Since when did you guys start hiring [racial slur]?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Who is this [racial slur] they’ve got in the kitchen now? You gonna start serving egg rolls or something?”

Me: “Okay, number one, [coworker] is Vietnamese, not a [racial slur]. Not that it matters, because number two, he was born here, so therefore he’s an American. And number 3, I wish we would start selling egg rolls because [coworker] makes the best d*** egg rolls I’ve ever tasted. Now you can go buy your drink from one of the machines because your money isn’t welcome in here today.”

(The customer stands there with his mouth open in shock for a minute before he turns on his heels and walks out. My coworker walks out as he is leaving.)

Coworker: “Oh wow, what was his problem?”

Me: “He’s just mad because I refused to serve him any egg rolls.”

(Thankfully, the customer later approached my coworker and apologized.)

Related:
So Pho, So Crazy, Part 2
So Pho, So Crazy

Call Back To The 1940s

| UT, USA | Bigotry

(I am a female. I work at a call center where we take care of Internet, cable, and home phone problems. If we don’t have a number from a customer, we can’t look up their account. If they don’t give us am alternate number (like a cell phone) we cannot call them back.)

Me: “Thanks for calling tech support. Can I get your 10-digit telephone number, please?”

Customer: “Nope! Get me a supervisor right now… a male supervisor.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. They are currently in a meeting, but I’m sure I can assist you. Can I get an alternate number in case we get disconnected?”

Customer: “Sure as h*** can’t! Get me a supervisor now. I don’t care how long it takes.”

(After about 5 minutes of at least trying to pull up his account and get an alternate telephone number, I eventually give up and go get a supervisor. Keep in mind we have no info from him, and therefore have no way to call him back.)

Me: “Okay, sir. I have my supervisor here.”

(I put the customer on mute while I hand my supervisor my headset. However, my supervisor accidentally hits ‘power’ instead of un-mute, hanging up on the customer.)

Me: “Did you just hang up—”

Supervisor: “Shut up. It’s been a long day. Do we have a call-back number?”

Me: “Nope!”

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