Cash-Back-And-Forth

| Lincolnshire, England, UK | Money

(Whenever a customer asks for cash-back, I always repeat the amount back to them just to make sure I have heard correctly.)

Customer: “Can I have £30?”

Me: “That’s £30?”

Customer: “No, £30.”

Me: “Yes, £30 cash-back?”

Customer: “No, I want £30.”

Me: “Yes, that’s what I said, £30 cash-back.

Customer: “Look, do you do cash-back?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Well, can I have £30?”

Getting Owned By The Owner

| USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry

(I work in a privately owned bookshop, and the shop owner/manager has very little patience for rude customers. He’s generally not unkind about it unless you upset other customers, though. He actually owns the property where the shop is located, and rents neighboring spaces to other businesses.)

Customer #1: *to another customer* “You have a very nice a**!” *tries to grab her*

Customer #2: *alarmed and backing away* “Don’t touch me!”

Customer #1: “God, you feminist c***s need to learn to take a d*** complement! Besides you can’t f***ing tell me what to do, I’ll touch you if I godd*** want!” *tries to touch her again*

Me: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Customer #1: “What’re you going to do about it? You’re only a woman, you have no right to tell me what to do. I have more rights than you! I’m better than you!” *tries to hand me a slip of paper* “Get me that book, slave!”

Me: *refusing to take it* “You need to leave, sir.”

Customer #1: “Get me your manager, stupid w****!”

Manager: *approaching from behind, and speaking firmly to Customer #1* “Get out.” *to Customer #2* “I’m so sorry. Please let me know if there’s anything I can help you with.”

(Customer #2 starts to tell him what she’s looking for, handing him a reading list, but Customer #1 isn’t done yet.)

Customer #1: “Hey, who do you think you are, buddy? Do you even know which book this is?” *waving the paper at him*

Manager: “I’m fairly certain everyone over the age of 12 knows what book that is.” *frowning* “I thought I told you to get out.”

Customer #1: “Only the property owner can tell me to leave!”

Manager: “Well even if that were true, I do own this property. So, you have two options. You can say good bye and leave, or you can just leave, which I would prefer.”

(Customer #1 leaves, embarrassed. However, he remains in the parking lot, so afterwards my boss walks Customer #2 to her car. I ended up having to call the police to get rid of Customer #1.)

Man Up And Let A Woman Fix It, Part 2

| FL, USA | Bigotry

(I am tech support for a major manufacturer, in one of the higher tier, specialized queues for technical issues. We do hardware and software support. I am also one of the very few females in the division.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [manufacturer], special tier support. My name is [name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “F***ing b******t, another f***ing call director! Look, honey, I need special tier support.” *he puts emphasis on this, as though I am stupid*

Me: “Yes, sir, you have reached that support. How can I assist you?”

Customer: “Ugh, fine, I’ll tell you, you won’t know how to fix this, and then I’ll get stuck on hold or transferred again.”

(He proceeds to outline a very basic problem, involving a quick reset of his memory to solve the issue, and have him back up and running on the spot without further incident.)

Me: “Well, I am very glad to have gotten you up and running again, especially without any delays! So, is there anything else with which I can assist you today?”

Customer: “No, and you didn’t assist me, you got some real tech, some guy standing behind you, telling you what to do, I just know it. Just let me talk to them so I can tell them what a great job they did.”

(All this is said loudly enough that, though I am on a headset, my supervisor, who sits about 10 feet from me, hears it. They have wandered over, asking to talk to the customer.)

Me: “Well, sir. I didn’t have anyone helping me, but if you wish, I can hand you over to my supervisor for your feedback.”

(The customer agrees, and I hand him over to my supervisor, who greets him, then listens in shock as the customer loudly and repeatedly berates both me and him. He calls us both liars when told I helped him unassisted, and starts cursing and using obscenities enough to finally ruffle me. A break finally comes in this long enough for my supervisor to get in his own input…)

Supervisor: “Well, sir. Now that you have that all out of your system, I do feel the need to tell you this; not only did she help you unassisted, and I can assure you of that, as can every other tech here, I frequently go to her, and refer other employees to her, as she is one of the most knowledgeable techs we have, as well as one of the best with people.”

Customer: “Okay, whatever! I know you guys are going to just keep lying to me anyway. We all know girls can’t do anything but cook and whatever!” *hangs up*

(Thankfully, I got an extra 15-minute break that day because of that call and keeping my cool despite the verbal abuse throughout!)

Related:
Man Up And Let A Woman Fix It

Diet In The Honeymoon Stage

| MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “Hi, I would like a small latte, please.”

Me: “Would you like a flavor shot added to your latte?”

Customer: “Do you have any sugar-free flavors?”

Me: “Yes.” *points to the menu* “Our flavor shots are listed here, we have sugar-free vanilla, caramel, hazelnut, raspberry.”

Customer: “Hmm, no thanks. I really shouldn’t have any sugar added to my drink. Can you just put honey in it?”

Two Wrongs Don’t Make A Copyright

| Copy Shop | Canada | Criminal & Illegal

Customer: “Do you copy DVDs?”

Me: “Yes we do, as long as they don’t contain copyrighted material.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “We can copy your DVDs if they consist of content that you created.”

Customer: “Well, it’s a season of a TV show.”

Me: “That would be copyrighted.”

Customer: “Oh, no it’s not.”

Me: “Yes, TV shows are copyrighted.”

Customer: “But it was recorded legally.”

Me: “What do you mean it was recorded legally?”

Customer: “My friend recorded it for me.”

Me: “That would be illegal.”

Customer: “No, it’s not. He pays for his cable, and he copied a series for me, and I want another copy of it.”

Me: “Yes, that’s illegal.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because you have to pay for cable too if you want to watch it. And you can probably buy them on DVD at the store.”

Customer: “Nope, not this show!”

Me: “Well it’s still illegal. I won’t be able to copy them.”

Customer: “Ugh!”

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