The Situation Is Unraveling And Unwrapping

| Gulf Shores, AL, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(We offer gift wrapping where I work. Customer #1 has had her gifts wrapped BEFORE she purchases them, so I have no idea what she’s buying. She goes to get one of each item from the shelves. Instead of bringing all her items up at once, she proceeds to get them one piece at a time and insist that each one is ringing up wrong, even when they aren’t. Meanwhile, a customer comes up behind her.)

Me: “Sorry, we’re just waiting a bit.”

Customer #2: “Oh, it’s fine.”

(Customer #1 comes up with another shirt. I ring it up and, again, she argues about the price. It’s only a dollar difference so I just give it to her.)

Customer #1: “Wait! How the h*** am I supposed to know what I bought? How do I know what is in each box?”

Me: “I have no idea, Ma’am.”

Customer #1: “Well, you’re just useless, aren’t you? Void me out! I’m going to unwrap all of these, have them rewrapped, and then buy them!” *turning to Customer #2* “God, can you believe the people they hire here?””

Customer #2: “Honestly, I can’t.”

(Satisfied, Customer #1 moves down the counter and starts angrily unwrapping presents. Customer #2 puts her stuff on the counter, and in the process drops a candle.)

Me: “Oh! Did that break? You can get another one.”

(Customer #1 mutters something about me giving her a hard time and being too nice to Customer #2.)

Customer #2: “Oh, no. It’s fine.”

(Customer #2 places her candle on the counter, and I continue ringing her things up. As I start to ring up her jacket, I pull out the coat hanger and accidentally drop it. It hits Customer #2 in the chest.)

Me: “Oh, my God. I am SO sorry!”

Customer #2: *laughing* “Oh, I see how you are! I drop something in your floor, and you assault me!”

Customer #1: “Oh, my God! I saw everything! I’ll be a witness if you want, and you can sue her for all she’s worth.”

Customer #2: “Are you serious?”

Customer #1: “Absolutely. You can HAVE her job.”

Customer #2: “And have to deal with jerks like you all the time? Uh, no thanks!”

(Customer #1 storms off.)

Customer #2: “Thank God, eh? As I was saying, I can’t believe that [Retail Store] managed to find such a patient employee!”

Paging All Psychics To Aisle Three

| USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

Customer: “Hey! I need help finding a product.”

Me: “What are you looking for?”

Customer: “I saw it on a commercial and know your store sells it.”

Me: “Is it a beverage, food, or cleaner? Can you describe it or what kind of package it came in or the color of the package?”

Customer: “I have no idea, but I know your store sells it and I want it now!”

Thinks He’s So Grape

, | Norway | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work as a wine waiter in a business hotel, where we often have repeat guests. One such guest, who always has a problem with something, is tasting a bottle of wine I’ve just opened.)

Guest: “This wine is bad. It’s corked, or oxidised, or something.”

Me: “May I test it?”

(I take the glass and smell the wine, knowing straight away that there’s no problem.)

Me: “I don’t notice anything wrong here. If you insist, I can open a fresh bottle.”

Guest: “Well, you obviously don’t know anything about wine or service. Of COURSE I want a fresh bottle.”

Me: “Very well, sir.”

(I take the bottle away, re-cork it, and wait a few seconds before returning to the table with a new glass. I open the bottle again as I arrive and I pour a little for him to taste.)

Guest: “MUCH better. Can’t believe you thought there was nothing wrong with the last bottle. You obviously don’t deserve to be in charge of wine here.”