On A Berating And A Prayer

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Top

(It’s 8 am on a Sunday morning, and only my second day working the register alone at a very large, well-known 24-hour store. Two customers come up to my register with four carts overflowing with food.)

Me: “Good morning, how are you today?” *starts scanning and bagging items*

Younger Customer: “Hello, these are separate orders.”

Me: “Oh, okay! Just let me know when to stop for the first order.”

Older Customer: “Who said to scan this stuff?! What’s wrong with you!? Did I say we were ready for you to start? Are you stupid?”

Me: “Oh! Um…I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

Older Customer: “You should!”

(At this point, the older customer begins to dig through the carts with the younger customer, separating things and barking at me to scan items here and there. After a bit, she asks me the price of a box of crackers.)

Me: *checks the price on the register* “They’re [price].”

Older Customer: “No! It said something else! It was a different price!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I can have someone check—”

Older Customer: “You don’t know the price?”

Me: “Not off the top of my head, no. I just started—”

Older Customer: “Well, I DO know the prices of everything in the store because I shop here, and that is [price]! GOD, you’re stupid! And what are you doing?! Double bag everything! You’re being an idiot on purpose, aren’t you?!”

Younger Customer: “Come on, mom. She’s trying her best.”

Older Customer: “No, she’s too stupid to work here. She shouldn’t be dealing with people if she’s this stupid!”

(She ended up calling me stupid several more times before leaving. A few months later, she went through another cashier’s line; her profession? A pastor.)

Revenge Is A Treat Best Served Sweet, Part 2

| Australia | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

(Our shop sells a variety of desserts. The lady who owns the shop loves small kids, and insists that we add small extras for them. She often doesn’t even charge polite children. It’s a busy day when a woman and her young son approach the counter. The son can’t be older than 4. He looks terribly excited and is clutching a coin as though his life depends on it.)

Young Son: “Could I please have a…single chocolate ice cream?”

Mother: “You shouldn’t say ‘please’ to her. Only to people you know.”

Young Son: *sadly* “Oh…I’m sorry, Missus Ice Cream Lady. Am I still allowed a single chocolate ice cream?”

Mother: “No, don’t apologise, either! Just say what you want and don’t talk to her. You’ll waste good manners otherwise.”

Young Son: “Oh, okay…I would please like a single chocolate ice cream and nothing else.”

Mother: “No, you said please again! Look, it’s not that hard! Your manners are terrible!”

(As this goes on, I start making the ice cream. The boy’s eyes slowly move from his mother’s weird demands to the ice cream as I make it bigger and bigger, adding extra cream, berries, sprinkles, and anything I can think of. His face goes from confusion to a grin to a dropped jaw of awe. The final product is almost as big as his head.)

Me: “Here you go, young man! You’re the politest customer I’ve had today, and polite customers always get rewarded! If there were more customers like you, wouldn’t the world be a nicer place?”

Mother: “Ugh! He’s not supposed to be polite to people on minimum wage!”

Me: *ignores her* “Thank you, young man, for battling the forces of rudeness and for making the world a better place!”

(I refuse payment, because apparently the coin the boy is the boy’s ‘life savings’. The mother storms off berating him, although her son is oblivious due to his enormous ice cream. The next day, him and all his friends come for ice cream. All are super polite, so they all got extra large ones at half price.)

Revenge Is A Treat Best Served Sweet

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It Was A Short-Terminology Relationship

| Wisconsin, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Top

Me: “Just the belt for you today?”

Customer: “BELT!”

(He hands me his belt.)

Me: “Your total will be $21.09.”

Customer: “SWIPE!”

(He swipes his card.)

Me: “Would you like the receipt with you or in the bag?”

Customer: “RECEIPT!”

(I give him his receipt.)

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “Thank you for allowing this relationship!”

Driving The Point Home, Part 2

| Australia | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Top

(A few customers are milling around the store, including a young woman and a uniformed police officer. Note that 99.9% of people here use a driver’s licence for an ID.)

Woman: “Pack of [cigarettes], please.”

Me: “Sure, do you have some ID on you?”

Woman:No. Why the h*** would you ask me that?!”

Me: “I’ll need to see some ID before I put these through, sorry. It’s our policy to ID anyone who looks under 25.”

Woman: “Are you kidding me? I am 25; I just drove here!”

(This entire time, the officer has been waiting in line behind her, and has overheard the conversation. Upon hearing that she has been driving, the officer makes eye contact with me, and after a second or two it clicks.)

Me: “Sorry, so you don’t have your driver’s licence on you from the drive here? You know it’s illegal to drive without a licence on you?”

Woman: “F***ing duh. What’s it to you?”

Me: “Nothing at all to me, ma’am.” *looking over to the cop* “Sorry, officer, won’t be a second.”

(The woman turns around and finds herself face-to-face with the police officer, who’s grinning like a child. Long story short, she walked home that day.)

Driving The Point Home

A Killer Whale Of A Story

| Netherlands | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

(It’s nearing the end of summer and my coworker and I are clearing away the summer theming in our shop window to make place for something else. This happens as I’m about to cut up an inflatable Orca.)

Child: “No, don’t kill it! Can I please have it?”

Coworker #1: “Yeah, sure.”

Child: “Yes! I can take it home and care for it in our pool. It needs water to live in!”

Coworker #1: *hands the child the toy* “Now, be very careful with it because it’s very fragile—”

Child: *runs out of the store to his mother before my coworker can finish*

Me: “How cute, I bet he’ll take good care—”

Mother: *smacks the inflatable against a few objects and stamps on it with her high heels*

Me: “Never mind…”

(About an hour passes as I overhear a conversation going on at the till. I notice the child with his mother and the popped toy.)

Mother: “Well, clearly it’s faulty. Look at it! It’s full of holes, and that was out of the packaging!”

Coworker #2: “I’m really sorry, but without a receipt I cannot provide you with a new one.”

Mother: *to her child* “Do you hear that? They sell me a broken toy and refuse to replace it. I want to speak to the manager!”

Me: “Excuse me, miss, but I believe a colleague of mine gave your child that toy and you destroyed it just outside the shop.”

Mother: “How dare you make such an accusation? Who do you think you are?”

Me: “I’m the person that set up the display with that same toy several months before. I marked it with a black pen around the valve noting that it would be destroyed at the end of the display time. I’m also the person that was there watching you destroy the toy outside.”

Mother: “That is a lie and I want a new toy!”

Coworker #2: “I cannot give you a new one without your receipt.”

Child: “Mommy, you said that if you made it leaky, you could get me a brand new one for free!”

Mother: “Well, you will because I know I’m right and they are wrong. I’ll just buy you a new one and send in a complaint on their website!”

(The mother proceeds to buy a new inflatable orca. It’s a size smaller and a different color then the one from the display since we didn’t have anymore large ones.)

Mother: *to her child* “See, if you are smart and cunning, you get what you want whenever you want!”

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