Reaching Breaking Point

| Kahului, HI, USA | Bad Behavior

(I’m taking a half-hour break. Due to company policy, I am not allowed to go back on the clock until a full half-hour has passed. After checking and seeing that I still have another five minutes before I can get back to work, I attempt to go back to the break room when a customer flags me down.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like to cash out and go. There’s no one at the register, so can you please take care of it?”

Me:“I’m sorry for the inconvenience. I’m actually on my break right now, but I can definitely go and grab someone who can do it for you if you’ll just wait a moment.”

Customer: “But it’ll take only a minute. Why can’t you do it?”

Me: “Legally if I’m on my break, I cannot do any work. But as I said, I can get someone quickly who will be more than capable of helping.”

Customer: “That’s fine.”

(I go and retrieve my manager, who is more than happy to go and help them. I return after five minutes to clock back in when I see the customer red-faced and shaking with rage. When she sees me, she points at me and screams.)

Customer: “That’s him! He’s the one who just blew me off! He said he couldn’t help because he was on his break.”

(The manager explains the company policy to her.)

Customer: “I don’t care! I wanted service immediately and he didn’t give it!”

Manager: “So what did you expect him to do, break company policy and get written up with our company?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Manager: “Why?”

Customer: “Because I’m the customer and I’m always right! Now I’m late for my flight back home.”

Me: “So instead of waiting an extra minute for someone else to check you out, you spent the next five complaining when you could have been gone?”

Customer: *pause* “F*** off.”

(The customer then proceeds to storm out. I laugh while my manager gives me a tired look.)

Manager: “Go ahead and take another half hour. It’s on me.”

It’s Not Getting Any Bella

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests

Customer: “I’m looking for a book.”

(I wait for a moment waiting for her to continue, before realizing she isn’t going to.)

Me: “What book are you looking for?”

Customer: “Well I don’t know the title or the author’s name.”

Me: “Is there anything at all you know about the book?”

Customer: “I know it has a blue cover.”

Me: “We have several hundred volumes with blue covers. Is there anything else you can tell me to help narrow it down?”

Customer: “Well, I think it was about a teenage girl.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that really doesn’t narrow it down much.”

Customer: “Oh my God! You are completely unhelpful! You should know what I’m talking about!”

Me: “I could point you in the direction of our teen section so you could have a look and see if you recognize anything.”

Customer: “That would take far too long! I just wanted one book, and you’ve completely wasted my time.” *storms out*

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The Drive To Do Good

| Woodbridge, VA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Religion, Transportation

(I am a habitual rider of the local transit system that covers DC metro and northern VA. I board the bus to see a rider verbally assaulting the bus driver.)

Rider: “I don’t care about your timeline route. You were supposed to go to [street] to drop me off 45 minutes ago. That last driver missed my stop and your operator assured me I would be home on this bus by 6:25!”

Driver: “Ma’am, I cannot directly deviate from my route until I’m closer to your stop. To deviate now would be to leave any other potential riders along the route stranded in the cold. I am truly sorry that you are having a bad evening due to a coworker, and I’ll do what I can.”

Rider: “Do what you can?! Do I look like the normal low-element that ride this bus? I am an educated woman with a job working for the federal government. Do look like I’m another one of your lowlife un-educated passengers?”

Driver: “Ma’am, I am a faithful man, and I know that God doesn’t give you us more than we can handle. For every negative that happens, he provides a positive. It is my prayer that when you get home tonight that you have a present evening.”

(This quiets her down considerably after that. Before I got off I handed him a note I wrote him with a $10 bill in it that read…)

“Sir.

Yours is one of the hardest jobs in the county. It good to know that you are a man of faith, and you’re right about God balancing the books, but until then here’s a down payment on some fortune for you.”

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Put Your Money Where Your Obnoxious Mouth Is

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

(I get in line to purchase some iTunes cards. In front of me is a customer in his late 50s telling his life story to an annoyed looking cashier; he’s bragging about his business and complaining about cellphones.)

Customer: *to cashier* “…and I run a business, not a charity, right!?”

Cashier: “Yes, sir. That’ll be—”

Customer: *spots me and my iTunes cards* “Wow, you sure have a handful of cards! What are they?”

Me: “iTunes cards, sir.”

Customer: “What are they for?”

Me: “To buy music and things for my iPad.”

Customer: “iPad?”

Me: “Uh, yes, sir. It’s a kind of—”

Customer: “I know what an iPad is! I have one! You can’t listen to music on an iPad, now can you! That’s an iPod!”

Me: “Actually, sir, there is a place where you can download the music, and an icon to click on where they are stored.”

(The customer goes back to talking about how his business is not a charity while the cashier tries to hurry him up.)

Cashier: “That’ll be $5.02.”

Customer: *takes $5 bill out of his wallet* “Oh, looks like I’ll need to bum some pennies off of someone, don’t wanna run back out to the truck.” *he turns to me* “Do you have some pennies?”

Me: “Yes, sir, but were you not just saying that you weren’t a charity? Nor am I.” *hands pennies to cashier*

(The customer doesn’t thank me and leaves.)

Cashier: “I f***ing hate that guy!”

Me: “Oh?”

Cashier: “He always acts like a superior a** and always bums money off people. And I know that family; he is absolutely loaded!”

Me: “I guess that’s how he stays that way.”

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Give The Beneficent The Benefit Of The Doubt

| Texas, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

(It’s a few days before Valentine’s Day, so there are a lot of rush orders for flowers. One of our usual customers, Ben, is an elderly man who isn’t mentally healthy, but he’s a sweet man who doesn’t bother anyone. He’s decided to buy 100 roses and stand outside to hand them out to women, young and old alike.)

Female Customer #1: “I want your manager.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am…”

(I call for my manager, who arrives shortly.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Female Customer #1: “There’s a drunk outside accosting women. I want to know what kind of store lets drunkards stand around like that to bother ladies. He’s standing out there slurring and making sexual comments to everyone.”

(As she explains this, another female customer with her daughter has been standing nearby. After she finishes, the second female customer interjects.)

Female Customer #2: “I hope you don’t mean Ben.”

Female Customer #1: “Who the f*** asked you?”

Female Customer #2: *to my manager* “Ben isn’t doing anything at all. This lady here asked for two flowers and started hitting him with her purse when he only gave her one.”

Female Customer #1: “You f***ing liar! You’re just some godless w****!”

Manager: “Lady, if getting a d*** flower for Valentine’s Day pisses you off this much, I feel sorry for the poor b*****d who gets in a relationship with you. Get out of my store and don’t come back.”

(The manager brought Ben in, who was in tears and confused. However, he cheered up when he received some very nice comments from other customers as well as a free meal from my manager.)

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