After Opening The Wrapping

| Right | June 25, 2014

funny-graphs91

I May Have Made A Mistake…

| Right | June 25, 2014

I-messed-up

Bust A Gut Laughing

| OK, USA | Right | June 24, 2014

(I do a lot of support for products I sell online via direct chat in text. Often google translate is used by customers. Unfortunately, my customer doesn’t know I speak Spanish and begins to rely on the translator. Please note that ‘tenía’ is past tense for ‘I have’ and ‘tenia’ means ‘tapeworm.’)

Me. “Ah, it appears that you unlinked the product. That’s okay; I’ll send you a new one.”

Customer: “Ah, tapeworm is my culpa!”

(My friends and I now use that for ‘my bad.’)

I Say Tomato, You Say Theft

| CA, USA | Right | June 24, 2014

(As a cashier one of biggest pet peeves is when people eat the items before paying for them.)

Me: “Hi. How are you today?”

(I instantly notice customer has three boxes of tomatoes, and is eating away.)

Customer: “Hi…” *continues eating one of the boxes of tomatoes*

Me: *scans all three boxes* “Your total is [total].”

(The customer, still chewing away, swipes her card.)

Me: “This card was declined.”

Customer: “Can I try again?”

(There are only two tomatoes left in box she ate from. She swipes the card again.)

Me: “It was declined.”

Customer: “Let me try another card.” *swipes card*

Me: “That was declined also.”

Customer: “Let me just go to the ATM to get cash. I’ll be right back.”

(The customer never came back and got away with eating almost an entire box of tomatoes for free.)

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Transcending Bigotry

| Yorkshire, England, UK | Right | June 24, 2014

(I am in a bank after losing my purse, looking visibly distressed, in the queue after dealing with a customer service agent that was no help.)

Bank Teller: “May I help you, sir?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not a ‘sir.'”

Bank Teller: “Oh. Do you mind if… I… uh…”

Me: “Ask if I’m transgender?”

Bank Teller: “Yes.”

Me: “Yes, I am. I have just lost all my cards, and I can’t get replacements issued, because they’re saying I’m not who I say I am.”

Bank Teller: “That’s fine. Someone I’m close to faces similar issues to you. If you can just confirm some security details, I can get you some new cards and give you some money from your account.”

Me: “Brilliant, thank you.”

(After confirming my details:)

Bank Teller: “I have an idea; I could place a note on your account. It may not help, but next time you could mention that if they look in the customer notes that you are a transgender person. Here:” *shows me some text on the screen*

Me: “That’s perfect. Thank you.”

Bank Teller: “No worries. You shouldn’t be faced with more problems when you’re already having a bad day.”

(Thank you, anonymous bank teller. You restored my faith in humanity!)

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