Closed To All Reason

, | Chicago, IL, USA | Right | February 8, 2014

(It’s half an hour after closing, and we’re finishing our cleaning duties. All the food has been put away, the lights are off, and there are multiple doors with signs stating our daily hours. Despite this, a car drives up.)

Customer: *comes up to the door* “Hey!” *tries to open door* “Hey, open the door!” *bangs on door repeatedly*

(I see and hear him, but it’s been a rough day, and I’m not interested in dealing with him.)

Customer: “Hey, I know you can hear me!” *bangs harder on the door* “I’m hungry, and I want food!” *starts violently shaking door* “I WANT A F****** [popular food item] OKAY! HOW HARD IS IT TO GET A F****** [food item] HERE?!” *starts to kick at the door*

(At this point, I’m starting to get a little nervous that this guy is actually dangerous. I go to get my manager. As I’m talking to my manager, we hear a crash and the sound of shattering glass.)

Manager: “What the f***?!” *runs to the front*

(The customer has smashed in the door and is standing at the register, apparently ready to order.)

Manager: “Sir, we are closed! What the f*** is wrong with you?! You will pay for all of the damage!”

Customer: “What?! You guys are closed?! Why didn’t you guys tell me? I’ll come back tomorrow then!” *smiling, he casually walks away*

(Fortunately, we got his license plate number and called the cops the next day, but not before he came in asking for the same food!)

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Wined And Dined And Fined

| Right | February 8, 2014

Towering Ignorance

| NY, USA | Right | February 7, 2014

(I work in tech support for cell phones. A coworker is having a conversation with a customer whose phone isn’t working.)

Agent: “Okay! Have you tried checking out the settings on your phone? You may have turned those services off.”

Customer: “No, I didn’t. Definitely didn’t do that.”

Agent: “Hmm, I see! Well, you could always give our customer service department a quick call to see if something is up! How’s that sound?”

Customer: “I’m at my cousin’s house and the elevation is very high so I made sure to turn ‘airplane mode’ on. It’s pissing me off that this isn’t working.”

Agent: “Oh! Airplane mode is actually going to disable your phone from using those features. Take that off for me, please, and try again.”

Customer: “Wow! Do you think I’m going to be fooled like that? You’re lying. How do people talk to each other on airplanes? DUH! Sucks when I know more than an employee…”

Agent: “I’m not entirely sure what you mean. Could you elaborate, please? ”

Customer: “Uhm, wow. I can’t believe I’m doing this: Airplane mode is for when you need to call someone while up high in the air to connect to satellites and stuff rather than towers. How do you think pilots and astronauts contact ground control? You’re a complete idiot. Goodbye.”

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Freedom Isn’t Free

| OH, USA | Right | February 7, 2014

(I work at a wholesale club and every few months we give out free 90 day trials in lieu of paying for a membership. I have just finished explaining our offer to a customer.)

Me: “So, did you want to try our paid membership or just get the 90 day free trial?”

Customer: “I have a question.”

Me: “Okay. What’s your question?”

Customer: “This is completely free?”

Me: “Yep.”

Customer: “So, you mean to tell me that for 90 days I can come in here, and get anything I want for free?”

(I pause and look at them for a second, and I ask her to repeat her question, which she does.)

Me: “Ma’am, only the membership is free. You still have to pay for the items.”

Customer: “Well, that is just false advertising. You all shouldn’t say something is free if you still have to pay for it.

(She stormed off and I sat there wondering what just happened.)

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Deaf To Reason, Part 2

, | Darwin, NT, Australia | Right | February 7, 2014

(I am at a supermarket checkout.)

Me: “Hey, there! How are you this eveni—”

Customer: “You realise there’s a man in here with a dog, right?”

Me: “Oh? Maybe it’s a guide dog or something?”

Customer: “No, no! It doesn’t have the guide dog harness! Really! The beast is sticking its nose in the fresh bread!”

(She proceeds to point over my shoulder, and I decide to look. To my amusement, it is a man who had come to my primary school when I was younger, to teach us about dogs that help people with hearing issues.)

Me: “Actually, I know that guy. The dog is actually there to help him because of his hearing being—”

Customer: “I don’t CARE what the dog is there for! It’s not a guide dog and needs to be removed! If you’re not going to help, call your manager, please!”

(Exasperated and a bit peeved at the customer’s behaviour, I grudgingly do so while she defiantly hold up the line.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “That MAN over there has brought some flea-ridden dog in here while he’s shopping! Get him out of here at once!”

Me: “I tried to explain to her it’s a hearing aid dog, but she’s not listening.”

Customer: “I was listening you little cretin! Hearing aid dogs don’t—”

Manager: “Actually they do, and this man is well known for coming through with his dog to help with his shopping. The kids love him, we love him, and you just appear to want to deny that for sake of argument.”

Customer: “How DARE you! I’m a paying customer!”

(By this point my manager asked her to pay her due and leave. She does… only to come back in and flat out abuse the guy for making HER look like a fool. Cops had to be called for her to be removed.)

Related:
Deaf To Reason

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