Peek A Peck Of Peekers in Peckville

| Scranton, PA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’d like the number for [corporation] in Peekville, Pennsylvania. They sent me the wrong pants and I want to complain.”

Me: “Sir, there is no Peekville showing in Pennsylvania, but you’re in luck. I’m from the area and actually applied for that company when I applied here. I believe you mean Peckville.”

Customer: “I said Peek-ville, Pennsylvania.”

Me: “Sir, there is no Peekville in Pennsylvania. Is there another town you would like me to try?”

Customer: “There has to be a Peekville. The package came from there.”

Me: “Sir, how do you spell Peekville?”

Customer: “P-E-C-K-V-I-L-L-E.”

Me: “Yes, sir, let me get that for you.”

Half Cooked For The Half Minded

| Sydney, Australia | Food & Drink

Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like half a chicken please.”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, we seem to be out. The next load should be ready in about 15-20 minutes.”

Customer: “But I just want a half, not a whole one!”

Me: “I’m sorry about the wait. As soon as they finish cooking, I will cut you one straight away.”

Customer: “But I just want a half! Can’t you just get one out of the oven now and cut it for me?”

Me: “Um, no. If I took one out early and cut it, it wouldn’t be cooked in the middle.”

Customer: “But I only want a half chicken! It should take less time to cook than a whole one!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I have to wait for them to finish. I promise I will cut you one straight away.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you’re making this so difficult for me to buy half a chicken!” *storms off*

Losing Faith In Humanity, Bit By Bit

| New Jersey, USA | Technology

(I help set up new computers. I set up a new system for a user last week, and didn’t get to finish because she was out of office. She comes in today looking rather irritated.)

User: “I want all my 64 bits.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

User: “My new computer has Windows 7, right?”

Me: “Yes, it does. Is there something wrong with it?”

User: “You do know that means it uses up 7 bits, right?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

User: “So, I want all of my 64 bits back!”

Me: “Ma’am, it doesn’t work–”

User: “Never mind! You’re useless!” *storms out*

Lay Off On The Confundus Charm

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Geeks Rule

Me: “Good morning.”

Customer: “What did you say?”

Me: “Um, good morning?”

Customer: “I’ll have you know that my morning was not at all good! I woke up to find out that Harry Potter isn’t real and I don’t think I can accept it yet.”

(The customer starts to tear up so I offer her a napkin.)

Customer: *gasps* “Is this my letter from Hogwarts?”

Me: “No, it’s a napkin.”

(She runs out of the store sobbing, leaving her “letter from Hogwarts” behind.)

The Lost And Eaten

, | Kansas City, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(Sometimes, customers call the store when their order is wrong. This one was a little bit more special.)

Manager: “How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I didn’t get my food!”

Manager: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “When I came through the drive-thru, I got my food. But when I got home it was gone!”

Manager: “Let me get this straight. You got your food at the window?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Manager: “And it was in your car when you left?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Manager: “And it was gone when you got home?”

Customer: “It wasn’t there anymore.”

Manager: “So between here and home, you lost your food? How do you expect us to fix it?”

Customer: *hangs up*