Some Customers Scare The Help Out Of Us

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Politics

(I serve people their orders when they’re ready. If they’re old, a child, or otherwise seemingly unable to carry their tray, I’m required to offer assistance. On this day, an elderly man orders his food.)

Me: “Do you need any help carrying that?”

Elderly Customer: “Do I LOOK like I need help?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m required to offer help to people.”

Elderly Customer: “Is this something that Obama is making you do?! D*** socialist!”

Me: “N-no, sir… it’s the policy here.”

Elderly Customer: “Well, I don’t need no d*** assistance!” *storms off with food*

Three Beers To The Wind

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(While working at the convenience store, I notice an older male customer, who is clearly intoxicated, put three single beer cans down his shirt. The shirt is tucked in, so the beers are very obviously hanging out of his shirt. I intercept him as he tries to make his way to the door. Caught red-handed, he drunkenly holds out a handful of cash.)

Customer: “Hey how much do I have?”

Me: “You have three dollars, but you also have three beers down your shirt. Now give them back, please.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: *pokes at a beer can in his shirt* “You have 3 beers down your shirt, and we need those back now.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay.” *hands me two of the beers*

Me: “What about the third beer, man?”

Customer: “What beer?”

(I poke the can under his shirt.)

Me: “This one. We need that one back, too. Now.”

Customer: “Oh, okay…” *hands beer back* “Can I buy some beer now?”

Me: “You just tried to steal from us! H*** no, you can’t buy any beer! Now get out!”

Customer: *meekly leaves*

Some Days Start Off With A Bang

| USA | Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

(A man walks into our police department and approaches the dispatch counter.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Man: “I was just at a yard sale and brought a nice wood trunk, but when I got it home I looked inside and it was full of dynamite. It looks old and unstable.”

Me: “And where is it now?”

Man: “It’s in the back of my truck.”

Me: “Okay, and where is your truck?”

Man: “Outside in your parking lot!”

(And that is how our police department ended up getting evacuated for three hours. He parked, of all places, next to the supervisor’s brand new personal truck. Thankfully, it was found to be dummy training dynamite!)

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Mother Scorned

| Waterbury, CT, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Top, Wild & Unruly

(We’re not too busy at the grocery store this night, but we still have a decent amount of customers. I have just finished a transaction for Customer #1, a lady no more then 5 feet tall who is carrying a small infant, when I notice that she has left her baby’s bottle on the counter.)

Me: “Oh, Miss! Your baby bottle!”

(My coworker, a young man, picks up the bottle and politely walks the few feet to give it to the woman.)

Customer #1: “Thank you both so much!” *takes the bottle*

(Out of nowhere, Customer #2, a man about 6 feet tall, starts screaming.)

Customer #2: “Why the f*** are you catering to her! You’re a man! She is just a fat lazy b****!”

(My coworker, a few other customers, and I stand in shock. Customer #1, however, calmly puts her grocery bag on the floor, places her infant in my coworker’s arms, and walks right up to Customer #2. With amazing speed, her hand shoots out and grabs his collar bone, and he drops to the floor in obvious pain.)

Customer #1: “You wanna go?! Come on! This fat, lazy b**** will kick your a** all over this d*** store!”

Customer #2: *meekly raises his arms in surrender*

Customer #1: “Smart decision!” *picks up her grocery bag, takes back her baby, and merrily goes on her way*

Related:
Hell Hath No Fury Like A Pregnant Woman Scorned

August Top Story Roundup

Not Always Right | Roundups

August Top Story Roundup: From unexpectedly brave employees to courageous cosplayers, these are the top stories for the month of August!

  1. A Knight In Patrolling Armor (3,479 thumbs up)
    A bigoted customer gets what she deserves, while the employee gets what he desires!
  2. Courage Under Hire (3,457 thumbs up)
    Held up by a robber at knife point? Just another stupid customer for this brave gas station employee.
  3. Lightening In A Bottle (3,293 thumbs up)
    This wine store clerk has plenty to drink to for their birthday, courtesy of an awesome customer!
  4. The Cosplayer Is Always Right (3,047 thumbs up)
    Batman, Pikachu, and Master Chief save the day for cosplayers everywhere!
  5. Good News For (A Heckuva Lot Of) Change (2,948 thumbs up)
    An extremely excited new dad spreads the love for an unsuspecting ice cream shop employee.

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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