A Disservice To Good Parenting

, | UK | Awesome Customers, Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

(I work in a department store. It is Halloween, and our best kid’s costumes are out on display. I am decorating the store with fake spiders, when a angry customer and his bratty kid comes up to me.)

Me: *looking at child tearing down bunting* “Uh, kid? I’m going to have to ask you to stop that.”

Customer: *scowls at me* “Don’t you DARE!”

Me: “Is this your child, sir?”

Customer: “Yep! He’s not going to stop for a minimum wage weirdo!”

Me: “But, sir, he’s defacing store property! I have to ask you to replace that mannequin and the torn bunting.”

Customer’s Kid: “Shut the f*** up!”

(I pause in shock.)

Customer: “That’s it boy! We don’t be polite to serving people! They’re below us!”

Coworker: “Excuse me sir? I’m going to have to ask you to go, or I’ll call security.”

Customer: “I’m not scared of you! I’ll bet you’re not even Christian!”

(At this point, a nearby customer who has overheard everything walks over.)

Nearby Customer: *completely calm* “No, I’m not. I do, however, have a brown belt in Brazilian Floor Ju-jitsu. Let’s step outside and discuss this, shall we? Or you can kindly replace the decorations and leave these kind people alone.”

Customer: *turns pale* “L-let’s go son. I wanna leave this devil store.” *mumbles while shoving a note into my hands* “This stuff is crap anyway.”

(The best part? The man and his kid had walked into some off-duty police officers, who found the man had stuffed a bunch of MP3 Players into his top!)

Mocha With An Extra Snot

| AZ, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

(I am working at a coffee shop and have recently started training a new barista hire. He’s a teenage boy whose parents come to visit him a lot while he’s working. His parents are very snotty and condescending. Their son seems a little bit spoiled and not used to work, but he is very pleasant with the staff and is improving quickly. One day, his parents come in while my coworker is away from the station, so I offer to take their order.)

New Hire’s Mom: “We’ll take a pumpkin muffin, and we want that heated, and a large mocha.”

Me: “Okay, and would you like your mocha latte hot or iced?”

New Hire’s Mom: *narrowing her eyes* “I want my mocha hot, no whipped cream!”

Me: “Okay, that will just take one minute.”

(I read back their order before I ring them up, fully and precisely, as we are required to do to catch any mistakes.)

Me: “So, that’s one muffin and one large mocha latte. That comes to [price].”

New Hire’s Mom: “NO, NO, NO! I said I want a MOCHA! MO-CHA! MO! CHA! Not a mocha latte!”

Me: “I don’t understand. Do you want it to be a mocha cappuccino?”

New Hire’s Mom: “No! I just want a mocha with no latte! Is that so hard for you to understand?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I think you don’t understand. A mocha is just shorthand for mocha latte; it’s the same thing. The latte part is the espresso and milk, and it becomes a mocha latte when you add chocolate. Without the latte, you would just have the two pumps of syrup.”

(I make the drink and demonstrate the steps for her, explaining how the drink is put together, and point out how the last step with the steam wand can either make it a latte or a cappuccino. When I try to give it to her, she glares at me.)

New Hire’s Mom: “I don’t want that! I asked for a mocha, and that’s wrong!”

Me: “I assure you, it’s the drink you ordered.”

New Hire’s Mom: “No, I always order a mocha. I never get a latte! You’re incompetent! I know what I drink! I get it all the time! My son is a barista here, and he’s better than you!”

Me: “I know, ma’am. I’m the one training him, and he’s still learning the job. I’ve been doing this for some time and know my way around a coffee.”

(My coworker, the new hire, emerges from the kitchen and walks over to greet his parents.)

Me: “Hey, would you like to show your parents what you’ve learned on the machine?”

New Hire: “Yeah! What would you like?”

New Hire’s Mom: *looks smugly at me* “We want a heated pumpkin muffin, and a large mocha.”

(I finish ringing them up. He goes to work and starts showing off, explaining why the fine ground espresso packed tightly makes the drink stronger, what the buttons are for, etc. He is being a great little salesman. The whole time he is demonstrating, his mom looks more and more embarrassed because he is mirroring what I’ve already showed her. When he is finished, I remind him.)

Me: “Don’t forget the last step before you serve!”

New Hire: *proudly* “Here you go, mom! One mocha latte and one hot pumpkin muffin!”

New Hire’s Mom: *takes it and leaves, absolutely livid*

The Price For Room To Improve

| Omaha, NE, USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Money

Me: “Good evening, how can I help you?”

Caller: “What are your rooms at for Thursday night?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we’ve sold out. Would you—”

Caller: “Okay, but what are the prices?”

Me: “Well, the prices are based on availability, so I can’t give an exact quote, but I can—”

Caller: “What do you mean?! Why can’t you just give me the price?!”

Me: “Well, based on other nights, it would be between $169 and $199, plus the local tax, but we are sold—”

Caller: “No! You’re not hearing me! What’s the exact amount!?!”

Me: “That would be $222.88, ma’am.”

Caller: *in a very condescending tone* “There! That wasn’t so hard, was it!?”

Me: “Uh…”

Caller: “So, how many of those do you have left?”

Issues Of Trust To Leave You Bust

| USA | Bizarre

(As a supervisor for a major cell phone company, I am often the last rung on the ladder people get when angry and demanding assistance above the person they are speaking with. My employee who handles angry customers first calls me, somewhat frustrated, stating the customer has been very demanding and uncooperative. I take over.)

Customer: “I don’t know why this is so f***ing hard. I just need my info about my plan. Aren’t you people smarter than this?”

Me: “I am certainly happy to assist with your plan info. I just need your phone number to look up your account.”

Customer: “That’s what I mean. I can’t give you that. How do I know you are who you say you are? You could be any bum off the street.”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. I’m a little confused, though. I mean, you called us. You dialed the number for [company name]. Why would you think I didn’t work for [company name]?”

Customer: “Man, they have computers that can read your mind and steal your ATM numbers. This is crap. Just tell me what plan I have.”

Me: “Have you tried checking that info through the phone itself? It gives you a complete breakdown of all the—”

Customer: “Are you listening to me? I don’t trust anything I see on the internet. It’s all lies and unicorns.”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “Just tell me what plan you have me set up on. I don’t have time for this.”

Me: “I need your device ID or—”

Customer: “This is ridiculous!”

Me: “We have millions of customers. You didn’t call from the phone, or the info would have come up. You could be any of [company name]’s customers. I really want to help you.”

Customer: “Well, I’m not one of [company name]’s customers.”

Me: “Beg your pardon?”

Customer: “I don’t trust you guys. I’m with… someone else.”

Me: “You have service with another company?”

Customer: “Right?”

Me: “Which company?”

Customer: “See? What are you? Stupid? I’m not telling you s***!”

Me: “So, you don’t have service with [company name]? At all?”

Customer: “Right.”

Me: “And… uh… you called us to help you with info about your account with one of our competitors?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “I’m sorry but I can’t possibly help you with that. I can only help with our own customers. I don’t have access to-”

Customer: “I don’t trust those a**holes. You aren’t going to help me either.”

Me: “I mean, sorry, but I’m not able to. I want to help you, but you haven’t really put me in a position to-”

Customer: “I knew it! F*** you! You all suck!” *hangs up*

Me: *speechless*

Doe Is Dear

| Washington, DC, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Pets & Animals

(I work at a pet supply store that offers alternative foods for animals with allergies.)

Customer: “What’s bee-son?”

Me: “Bison. It’s an alternate protein source, similar to beef.”

Customer: “But what is it?”

Me: “It’s also called buffalo. It’ a lot like beef, just leaner.”

Customer: “But what is it?”

Me: “They’re kind of like, um, feral cows?”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “Moo?”

Customer: “Well, why didn’t you just say that? And veen-ay-son?”

(She points to a bag labelled “venison.”)

Me: “That’s deer.”

Customer: *more blank staring*

(I put my hands up on either side of my head like antlers.)

Me: “Bambi?”

Customer: “All these fancy names for things. It’s just so you can charge more for it, isn’t it?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. That’s exactly how it works.”

Page 1,627/3,048First...1,6251,6261,6271,6281,629...Last