A Long Night Is In The Cards

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Money

(I work night shift at a local chain convenience store, so I see many different people come in. One customer in particular is very drunk.)

Me: “Hello, sir. How are you doing tonight?”

(The customer just grunts and puts his items on the counter. I ring them up.)

Me: “Okay, your total is [amount].”

(The customer swipes his card.)

Me: “Sir, your card was declined.”

Customer: “Bull-s***! I know I have enough. Try it again!”

(He proceeds to swipe it again and like before, it is declined.)

Me: “Sir, it’s still declining.”

Customer: “F***! Again!”

(This repeats four more times, meanwhile a line has started to form behind him.)

Me: “Sir, do you have another form of payment?”

Customer: “I shouldn’t need it, because I have money on my f****** card!”

(He goes through his wallet anyway. His face falls and then he starts laughing.)

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “I was using the wrong d*** card! Here ya go.”

(He hands me the card and I run it through. It’s approved, and his receipt prints.)

Me: “Okay, sir. Have a good night!”

(I smile as he grabs his bag and leaves. I turn to the next customer in line.)

Next Customer: “Long night, huh?”

Me: “You have no idea.”

Bird Brained, Part 9

| Norway | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(I work in a pet store, and only one staff member is male. We also have a chatty amazon parrot.)

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “How may I help you?”

Customer: “Does the parrot say anything?”

Me: “Yes! He can say many things! Greetings and lots of random nonsense!”

(I wave at the parrot and he responds by saying ‘buh bye,’ and basically setting him off on a chatting rampage.)

Customer: “I thought you said it was a he?”

(I stare at the customer, somewhat confused.)

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Well… that’s clearly a woman’s voice!”

(I just stand there for a moment before explaining the principal behind parrots speaking. Needless to say, the customer was sort of embarrassed as he left.)

Related:
Bird Brained, Part 8
Bird Brained, Part 7
Early Bird Brained
Bird Brained, Part 6
Bird Brained, Part 5
Bird Brained, Part 4
Bird Brained, Part 3
Bird Brained, Part 2
Bird Brained

The Register Light Is On But Nobody’s Home

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I live in a small town with only two grocery stores. I’m constantly complimented on my friendliness and professionalism. When it’s slow, we assist customers. Today a customer has asked me to return a cart, during which we’re told to put our closed sign up on our lane, but keep the light on. After assisting three more customers, I wander back to my till that has the closed sign up to find a woman unloading her cart at my till.)

Me: “Oh! Hello, ma’am. Just for future reference, even if the light is on, but the closed sign is up, the till is not open. That way you won’t have to wait next time.”

Customer: “THE LIGHT WAS ON! YOU’RE OPEN IF IT’S ON!”

Me: “Ma’am, I do apologize, but the sign was clearly up. I’m just letting you know for next time so you won’t be delayed! I truly apolo—”

Customer: “IF THE F****** LIGHT IS ON, YOU’RE GODDAMNED OPEN. SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND DO YOUR JOB!”

Me: “Ma’am, I truly am sorry about that—”

(At this point, the customer has finished slamming her purchases onto the counter and leans over the lane to be about two inches from my face. It should be noted I’m in my mid-twenties.)

Customer: “I DID NOT COME HERE TO BE LECTURED BY SOME STUPID LITTLE CHILD!”

Me: “Ma’am, I apologize. I wasn’t trying to lecture you—”

Customer: “MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU CAN SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND DO YOUR JOB, YOU IDIOT!”

(At this point I stay quiet throughout the rest of the transaction, process her card, and hand her the receipt to sign. I say nothing.)

Customer: “Thank you!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I SAID THANK YOU!”

(As she leaves, she pulls over my supervisor.)

Customer: “I need to give a formal complaint about the horrible and disrespectful service this employee gave!”

(The next customer going through the till behind me walks over.)

Next Customer: “And I have to comment on how polite that employee was, despite you being so rude!”

(Both customers got into a verbal altercation. Thank you to the random customer who stood up for me!)