Good Money Drive-Thrus Out Bad

| Ontario, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money, Top

(I am working drive-thru at a major coffee shop chain. Every once in awhile, customers will “pay it forward” by paying for the order of the vehicle behind them. This is a happy surprise for the next customer, and usually causes them to pay for the order of the next vehicle and so on. We’re currently in the middle of a “pay it forward” chain when the following customer pulls up at the window.)

Me: “Hello, your total is $3.49, but the car in front of you has already paid for it.”

Customer: “What the f***?!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s been going for 11 cars in a row. You can pay it forward if you’d like to keep the good deed going. No pressure, though.”

Customer: “F*** that! I’ll pay for my own coffee. Not paying for some clown behind me!”

Me: “Not a problem. Your order has been paid for. Have a good day.”

Customer: “Are you deaf?! I said I am paying for it! This is such a scam getting people to pay for others. You’re what’s wrong with the world today, you know!”

Me: “I’m sorry for trying to give you your order for free.”

Customer: “That’s right, and don’t you DARE use my money to pay for the person behind me, you punk!”

(The customer peels away. As for their money, I used it to keep the chain going, which lasted for another 14 vehicles.)

The Customer Is Not Always Righteous

| TX, USA | Bizarre, Money

(I’m manager on duty tidying up. One of my coworkers walks up to me.)

Coworker #1: “I have a customer who doesn’t want to pay her late fees because she’s ‘righteous’.”

(Baffled, I follow my coworker up to the register and see the customer. Immediately, she speaks to me.)

Customer: “I shouldn’t pay because I’m righteous.”

Me: “I’m… sorry? What happened?”

Customer: “I’m righteous. It’s not right for you to charge me.”

Me: “I’m showing your movie was returned two days after it was due. It was five days, but you had it out for a full week.”

Customer: “You’re not being righteous. I’m righteous. I’m busy out spreading the word of God. I didn’t have time to bring it back. I was being righteous. This isn’t right of you!”

Me: “That’s very good of you, but unfortunately the fees are valid. I’m afraid you will need to pay it in total if you want to rent today. I can’t take it off.”

Customer: “No, I’m a righteous person. You need to do the right thing. This isn’t right of you!”

Me: “Actually, since you knew the due date and that we charge fees, you know that the charge is valid. It wouldn’t be righteous of you to not pay a fee you knowingly incurred.”

Customer: “No, no. I am righteous! This is YOU not doing the right thing.”

(Coworker #2 has been awkwardly standing at his own till with a slight smile frozen in place this whole time. Eventually, the customer notices him.)

Customer: *to Coworker #2* “Don’t you laugh at me. I’m righteous, young man!”

Coworker #1: “He wasn’t laughing at you, ma’am. We’re a very happy crew.”

(The customer glares at Coworker #2 for a while before deciding to pay up and rent, muttering the whole time. The only audible word is “righteous.” Before leaving, she has one more thing to say.)

Customer: “Tell them it’s not righteous. I know it’s not your choice, but it’s not right to do this to me when I’m righteous!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I will. Have a good night.”

(Not surprisingly, the customer didn’t return her movies two weeks later, even after repeated attempts to get a hold of her. She ‘righteously’ kept merchandise that didn’t belong to her!)

Makes No Difference How Things End Up

| Colorado, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Rude & Risque, Top

Me: “Alright, sir, your total is $69.19.”

Customer: “Oh my god! 69! That’s hilarious!”

(Suddenly, the customer becomes sad.)

Customer: “Oh… but I have this coupon…”

(He hands me a 50 cents off coupon.)

Me: “That’s alright, sir! That coupon will take 50 cents off. Your total is now $68.69!”

Customer: *dumbstruck* “This place is magical!”

And The Nerds Shall IPO The Earth

| CA, USA | Family & Kids

(A customer and her 7-year-old son approach me in the electronics department. The son has some video game and video game memorabilia in his hands.)

Customer: *to her son* “Why do you want to buy that crap?” *to me* “I pray that he doesn’t grow up to be a nerd. I just wish he would color his hair and get some tattoos.”

Me: “Nothing wrong with nerds.”

Lady: *scoffs* “Let’s just hope it’s just a phase!”

You Say Barokee, I Say You Need To Pee

| Sardis, BC, Canada | Health & Body, Language & Words, Top, Tourists/Travel

(I work in a convenience store on the way to a lake (popular with tourists), and the till faces the front door. Currently, two women are in line, the first of which is paying with her debit card. Her back is to the door, and her head is down. Suddenly, a man comes bursting through the door yelling. Both women are incredibly startled.)

Man: “BAAARRRROKEE!”

Woman #1: “Oh my God!” *bolts upright*

(Woman #2 starts laughing hysterically, while Woman #1 has stopped in the middle of entering her pin to stare.)

Man: “BAAAAAA. ROOOOOO. KEEEEEEE. BAROOKEE. BAROOKE!”

Me: “Bathroom key?”

Man: “Yeah! Barookee!”

(He runs off in the direction of the bathroom, arms literally flailing.)

Woman #2: “How did you know what the heck he was saying?”

Me: *deadpan* “I speak tourist.”

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