Slightly Accented Hair

| NY, USA | Canada, Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(I have lilac hair with blue tips. I also wear light grey contacts, and I have slight Irish accent.)

Customer: “Oh my, such pretty hair you have!”

Me: “Thank you!”

Customer: “Is it natural?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Like, were you born with that hair color? That’s so peculiar!”

Customer’s friend: “That’s not the only thing peculiar about her! Look at her eyes, they’re so big and grey!”

Me: “Oh, they’re just contact lenses.”

Customer’s Friend: “Look, she’s even speaking with a weird accent! You must not be from here! Are you from Canada?”

Customer and her Friend: *simultaneously* “Ah, Canadians!”

Bags Of Laughs

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

(It’s been a long night, with a higher than average number of annoying customers. A couple comes through the till.)

Wife: “Oh, no. Don’t put the chips with the pop! It’ll get crushed.”

Husband: “Geez, don’t put the chips with the bread.”

Wife: “Oh, and keep the pickles away from the cans.”

Husband: “Can you double bag everything?”

(I finally sort through their numerous demands, they pay and leave. The next customer and last in line is buying just a few things, and has listened to the previous conversation.)

Customer: “Oh… can you put the bacon in a separate bag from the chips and pop?”

(I do.)

Customer: “Oh, and can you separate the chips and pop?”

(I do.)

Customer: “Can you double bag everything? It’s all pretty heavy, you know.”

(I stare, not sure if he’s serious.)

Customer: “And, can you put the receipt in a separate bag?”

(I smile at this point, and he laughs; it’s clear he was just joking. Everything goes in one bag. From this point on, ‘put the receipt in a separate bag’ becomes a euphemism for anyone making a series of ridiculous requests.)

Stamping Out Equality

| Traverse City, MI, USA | Bigotry

(I am working a slow late night at the service counter. A snobbish woman comes up for some stamps.)

Customer: “I would like a book of forever stamps.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. That’s $9.00.” *hands woman stamps*

Customer: *looking disappointed* “Is this the only design you got?”

Me: “Yes, is there a problem with this design?”

Customer: “Yes, these quotes on them… I don’t like the fact that say equality. I don’t believe in equality.” *walks away*

How Quickly People Change

, | Hilo, HI, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(I am working the cash register at a popular Tex-Mex chain. I am serving a customer who has been kind of rude, and seems like he is in a huge hurry. I have tried to be as pleasant and quick as possible.)

Me: “So, your total is $34.”

Customer: “Can you guys take tips?”

Me: “No, I wish.”

Customer: “Okay. Here. I’ll give you this $50, and just… um… forget my change.”

(He did. He walks out leaving me the remainder, about $16!)

Customer Zero

| San Diego, CA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I have just gone to the hospital for a abdominal scan, and I still have the ID bracelet on that they give to patients. I am shopping on my own when a woman comes up to me.)

Female customer: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be in the way.”

Female customer: “What are you doing in a public place, kid?”

(Note: I’m 21.)

Me: “What?”

Female customer: “That bracelet! It means that you are infected! What are you doing touching things?”

Me: “Lady. I’m not infected with anything. I just came from a check-up.”

Female customer: “STOP LYING! I am going to get the manager!”

(She leaves, and I continue to shop. She comes back with the manager while I am looking at some fruit.)

Female customer: “See? He’s touching everything! Now you are going to have to throw all of this out!”

Me: “Look, I already told you. It’s an ID bracelet.”

Manager: “Wait. You already told her that?” *turns to lady* “Why are you harassing this poor kid?”

Female customer: “HE IS GOING TO KILL US ALL!” *runs off*

(The manager apologized and I got his discount for my food!)

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