His Account Just Got Axed

| Adelaide, SA, Australia | Money, Technology, Wild & Unruly

Me: “Welcome to [Bank]. This is [Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “This d*** ATM wont give me my money, and now it’s eaten my card! I want you to get it back! NOW!”

Me: “Okay, sir. May I have you member number please?”

(The customer confirms the details.)

Me: “I can see here, sir, that you have used another bank’s ATM, and that you entered the wrong PIN three times?”

Customer: “It’s not my d*** fault I got my cards mixed up. Just get my card back!”

Me: “Unfortunately, sir, we are unable to access that machine for you. It does not belong to our bank, and you have used a machine that is not attached to another bank branch, so the card has been cancelled. I can order a new one straight away, but I need to advise you that there will be a fee.”

Customer: “No. YOU will get my card back right now, or I will go to my car, get my axe, and chop up this machine!”

Me: “Okay, sir. Go ahead.”

Customer: “What, what…? But I said that I’m going to get an axe!”

Me: “I know you did, on someone else’s ATM, so it doesn’t really affect us does it? I should let you know that I have made notes of the threat you just made, though.”

Customer: “I’ll close all my accounts! I’ll go to the branch right now.”

Me: “You WILL close your accounts, sir. And I see from your notes that this was your final warning about threatening behavior. However, I suggest that you don’t approach any branch or staff member again, as you apparently have an axe. The police will be notified the moment you step foot in any of our branches. You will be sent a cheque in the mail. Thank you for calling [Bank].”

Ejected From The Library

| New York, NY, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Rude & Risque

(I’m an assistant librarian. We have a section of computers for our patrons to use, located directly next to the children’s section. One day while I’m re-shelving kid’s books, I hear what sounds like people having sex. I turn to look and see an old man sitting at one of the computers watching VERY explicit porn.)

Me: “Sir! Excuse me, sir. I’m going to have to ask you to turn that off.”

Old Man: “No! This is a free country!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but not only is that inappropriate content, we’re right next to the children’s section. You don’t want any of them to see that sort of thing. Do you?”

Old Man: “It’s perfectly natural! They should see it! I knew all about this sort of thing when I was their age!”

Me: “…sorry, what!?”

Old Man: “My mother was a w****! I lost my virginity when I was ten! There’s nothing wrong with kids knowing about sex!”

Me: “There are so many things wrong with that statement that I can’t even list them.”

(I ended up having to call the police to remove him because he was making a scene. He was banned from the library, but he still tries to sneak in every few months to watch porn on our computers.)

That’s Racism In Black And White

| SD, USA | Bigotry

(The company hires in groups and trains people in a class like settings. After a month of training we’re finally let out on the phones.)

Coworker: “Hello. Thank you for calling [Company Name] Customer Care. This is [Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Oh my gosh! I’m so happy to finally be talking to a white person!”

(My coworker is Native American and Indian!)