Oh, The Inhumanity

| Boston, MA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: *looks at my name tag* “Hmm…’Karen’. I didn’t realize you guys had names.”

(I assume the customer means he didn’t realize we have name tags.)

Me: “Oh, yeah…we always have name tags in case you ever need to ask for us.”

Customer: “No, I didn’t know all you people who worked here had names. It’s neat!”

Welcome To Scoff-Fuss Depot

| Westminster, CO, USA | Bizarre

(A male customer comes in looking for the copiers to enlarge a photo. I assist him with his copies and then return to my register. The customer continues to browse the baskets by the register.)

Customer: *holds up a flashlight* “What’s this?”

Me: “That’s a flashlight, sir.”

Customer: *holds up a packet of Post-its* “What’s this?”

Me: “Those are Post-it flags. They have adhesive on the back of one end so you can use them to mark pages in books.”

Customer: “Adhesive, huh? Sure…” *gives me a knowing smile*

Me: *confused*

Customer: *holds up some speakers* “So, what are these? Little TVs?”

Me: “No, sir…those are speakers.”

Customer: *looks slightly alarmed* “Speakers? For what?”

Me: “For a computer, sir.”

Customer: *rolls eyes* “Computers! You know, I feel terrible for leaving here without a present for the grandkids, but EVERYTHING you sell these days is poison or dynamite! It’s not SAFE!” *storms out of the store*

Aisle Never Make Cents

, | New Brunswick, Canada | Money

(I am working the cash one busy day. A customer is disputing the price of some items.)

Customer: “Well, the sign said these were 3 for $1. That’s why I was buying them.”

Me: “I’m sorry, madam, but these are $1.25 a piece…they always have been. Would you still like to purchase them?”

Customer: “Well, the sign on the display has them at 3 for $1. I want them, but at that price.”

Me: “Madam, I can see the display from here and I don’t see the sign you are referring to. In fact, I set up that display myself last night. I can assure you there are no such signs on the display. Would you still like to purchase the items?”

Customer: “Look, it’s right there! Can you not see? It says everything on that shelf is 3 for $1!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I still don’t see the sign to which you are referring madam.”

Customer: “IT’S RIGHT THERE ON THE TOP! The green and yellow sign with number 3 on it!”

Me: “You mean the sign that says aisle 3?”

Customer: “Exactly! Now…oh…”

(The customer turns beet red and remains silent for the rest of the transaction. When the next customer in line comes up, she speaks.)

Next Customer: *joking* “If that’s what the signs on each aisle mean, I think I’ll do all my shopping in aisle 7!”

The Cuss-tomer Is Always Right

| USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Top

(A mother storms into our day camp. She’s holding her five-year-old son by the arm.)

Mom: “My son said the F-word last night after coming home from YOUR day camp. I will NOT have a bunch of unprofessional teenagers setting bad examples for my child!”

Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am. I have no idea which employee could have said that, but I will definitely call a meeting with all of our counselors to discuss this.”

Mom: “Yeah, you’d better. I should have all of you fired, really!”

(She turns to leave, but as she walks away she drops her sunglasses.)

Mom: “Oh, f***!”

At Least Meet Us Half-And-Half Way

| Livingston, NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

(I’ve been called to our store’s cafe to deal with a customer demanding a free drink.)

Me: “Hi, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I got the wrong drink yesterday, so I told the barista that they need to give me a free drink to make up for it.”

Me: “I’m sorry…you got the wrong drink yesterday?”

Customer: “Yes! I come here every day to study and get the same drink! Yesterday, they gave me some disgusting sludge. I had to drink the whole thing! What are you going to do to make it right?!”

Me: “You drank the whole thing, even though you thought it was disgusting and you were still in the store?”

Customer: “That’s not the point! They gave me the wrong drink. You need to make it up to me.”

Me: “Why didn’t you tell the barista that you were given the wrong drink yesterday? We would have happily gotten you the correct drink.”

Customer: “I didn’t realize I had the wrong drink until I sat down. What was I supposed to do, get up and walk all the way over to the counter?!”

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