The Answer To Their Own Question

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Books & Reading, Food & Drink, Top

(Today all my customers have been placing the exact same order, so I decide to have fun with the next one who comes in.)

Me: “Hello. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi! Can I have—”

Me: “A pound of [Brand] oven roasted turkey? Sliced thin?”

Customer: “Um, yes…”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Coming right up.”

(I slice the turkey for her and hand it to her.)

Me: “Would you like anything else today?”

Customer: “Can I also have—”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. One pound of [Brand] white American cheese, coming up.”

(Her eyes go wide but she doesn’t say anything. I look through the cold case but don’t find an open package of the cheese.)

Me: “Oh, looks like I need to open a new package. One moment, please.”

(I step out from behind the counter and open up the door on the front of the case to get a new package of cheese.)

Customer: “Wow! I didn’t know—”

Me: “That’s okay. Most people don’t know the doors open from the front.”

(Her eyes get even wider. I try not to snicker as I slice her cheese.)

Me: “Aaaaand there you go. Will that be all for you, ma’am?”

Customer: “What number am I—”

Me: “42.”

(She snatches the cheese and runs out the front door at full speed.)

Coworker: “How did you know what number she was thinking?”

Me: “Douglas Adams, dude. 42 is always the answer.”

Coworker: “You’re sick, man.”

Me: “I knew you’d say that.”

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Best To Let Sleeping Service Dogs Lie

| USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

(I am disabled and have a service dog that accompanies me everywhere, including my job. I typically run a register, and he will either sit or lay beside me on the rubber mat behind the register. I typically don’t talk about my disabilities with strangers, since some people can be rather mean.)

Customer: “Oh, a service dog! Are you training it?”

Me: *ringing up customer’s items* “No. He’s mine.”

Customer: “But you don’t look disabled.”

(I just smile and continue their transaction.)

Customer: “Oh! Do you have seizures?”

Me: “Something like that.”

Customer: “Diabetes?”

Me: “Something like that.”

Customer: “PTSD?”

Me: “Something like that.”

Customer: “Well! I wasn’t trying to be nosy. Hmph!”

Me: “Sorry about that. Your total will be [total].”

(The customer pays and takes his bags, starts heading for the door before turning back to me.)

Customer: “I’m sorry. That was rude of me, wasn’t it?”

Me: “Something like that.”