Knows How To Navigate These Noisy Waters

, , , , | Right | November 16, 2017

I work at the Water Bureau. I got a call to go out to a house on a “loud water” complaint.

A nice elderly gentleman came out of the house and told me that the water was louder and it had been that way for a week. I asked many questions to try to narrow it down to a cause, and the gentleman said he hadn’t made any changes to the house or anything different with the plumbing recently.

Finally, I asked him if there was anything new in his life in the last week. The man thought for a moment and said, “Well, I did get new hearing aids last week.”

I suggested that perhaps he could just hear the water better now that he had hearing aids. The man said, “Well, God d***, I bet you’re right! That just proves to my wife I’m not crazy. Thanks!” And he went back into his house.

Another satisfied customer.

You Say Tomato, I Say Fair Price!

, , , , | Right | November 16, 2017

In recent years, a local farm has set up a booth in town to sell their produce. I was in to pick up some of their tomatoes. The owner and a customer were blocking that display. While I waited for my turn, I heard the customer say:

“But I can get tomatoes for ninety-nine cents a pound at [Supermarket].”

I figured the customer was trying to talk the owner down on price so I wandered over to a different display until the customer walked away. Finally, I was able to get my tomatoes.

As I was paying the owner, I said, “This may be all we eat for dinner tonight. Your tomatoes just have more flavor than the ones at [Supermarket]!”

The owner, who is known to be a bit gruff, gave me a genuine smile.

When I turned around, I was face-to-face with the argumentative customer. He was glaring at me. I heard the owner chuckle quietly as I walked away.

It Should Be Your Bread And Butter

, , , | Right | November 16, 2017

Customer: “Hey, where are your groceries?”

Coworker: “Sir, this is an appliance store; we have none.”

Customer: “What do you mean?! What kind of store doesn’t even carry a loaf of bread?!”

(We have also been asked for power tools, televisions, beds, and auxiliary cables for music.)

Insert Title Here

, , , | Right | November 15, 2017

(I work in an auto shop.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, the check payment you guys sent me for my car bounced, and the funds were reversed.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I do apologize about that. Let me take a look on your file.”

(I look at the file and it appears that she only gave us an application to get a title and not an actual title.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, it looks like when we received your title at the yard, it wasn’t actually a title; it was an application. We tried contacting you to owner-retain the vehicle and send it back to your house, but you never answered or returned our calls.”

Customer: “I didn’t receive any of your calls. The agency that referred me to you said that the application would be sufficient.”

Me: “When we took down your file, ma’am, we asked if you had a title. You said that you did. So, unfortunately, at this time all we can do is contact the yard and send the vehicle back to you, since your end of the verbal contract wasn’t completed.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***! I’m going to call the local police and tell them that I never gave you the car and that you stole it.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, you would be charged with filing a false police report, since we have records of you agreeing to have the car picked up with a title.”

Customer: *click*

Maybe The Library Has Books About What Libraries Are

, , , , | Right | November 15, 2017

(A man in an extremely dirty jacket approaches the counter holding a copy of a reference-only Banksy art book.)

Customer: “Ey, mate, how much for this book? There ‘ent a price on it.”

Me: “Er… This is a library. I’m afraid I can’t sell you any of the books.”

Customer: “Eh? How much for this, then?”

Me: “No, it’s… This isn’t a shop. It’s a library. The books aren’t for sale. I can sign you up for a library card, if you want.”

Customer: *stares blankly*

Me: “I can give you a library card, so that you can borrow books, but not that one; that one has to stay here.”

Customer: “Are you not gonna serve me ’cause of how I’m dressed, eh? I have loads of money: look.” *waves around a couple of £10 notes*

Me: “I can’t sell you the book because this is a library.”

Customer: “What the h***’s that, then?”

(This went on for a couple more minutes. He finally left, clearly still convinced that we were a bookstore and confused about why we refused to serve him.)

Page 13/3,941First...1112131415...Last
« Previous
Next »