icon_awesomeworkers

Not Always King or A Royal Pain In The A**    

| Wilrijk, Belgium | Awesome Workers

(The dutch equivalent of “the customer is always right” is the equally annoying “customer is king.” I’m shopping food with my girlfriend when this short but sweet exchange takes place.)

Angry Old Lady: “Customer is king.”

Girlfriend: *makes proper bow* “Welcome to democracy, your highness.”

(She shut up after that.)

icon_liarsscammers

Keeping A Deadly Account

| Manila, The Philippines | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers

(I work for a call center that helps customers with their credit card concerns.)

Me: “[Credit Card Company]. This is [My Name]. How can I help?”

Caller: “Hello. I would like to know my balance, please.”

Me: “I will be more than happy to help you with that. May I have your card number?”

Caller: “I do not have that with me; can I give you my social instead?”

Me: “Sure. May I have your social?”

Caller: “It’s [Social Security Number].”

Me: “And may I have your name?”

Caller: “[Caller].”

Me: “Thanks, [Caller]. And can I have the four-digit PIN associated with the account?”

Caller: “I do not know that.”

(Even early on, I know that the caller is a fraudster. I see something on the account that I can use to shut him down.)

Me: “Thanks, [Caller]. Now, before I continue, can I ask you one question? Do you believe in resurrection?”

Caller: “Yes, why?”

Me: “Because you may have risen from the dead as the owner of this account has recently passed away.”

icon_money

Tipped Off To Be A Bad Tip

| Stoughton, WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Money

(I am 16 and this is my first day at my first waitressing job. The town is small and pretty much just packed with old people. I am feeling pretty good because I get tons of compliments on how nice I am. One older guy took up tons of my time but an older waitress told me it’s fine cause he tips well. After he left I went to clear the table.)

Me: *to older waitress* “Oh, my god! It’s $100! Wait… This is a fake.”

Older Waitress: *laughing* “Yeah! He does that to all the new girls!”

Me: “He didn’t even leave a real tip. How is that funny? I make $2 an hour and need to get tips to make a normal wage!”

(I quit shortly after that because the owners and older staff were nuts. 15 years later I moved back to town to be by my parents and saw that man in a restaurant. He was about to pull the same thing on a young girl.)

Me: “Don’t you dare! You did the same thing to me 15 years ago! Hasn’t anyone told you how freaking rude that is!”

Man: “It’s a joke!” *he got up and left*

Me: “Well, it’s not funny!”

(I got up and cleared the table myself and tossed out the fake tip. The poor girl came up confused. I handed her a real tip and suggested she never waste her time on that guy again.)

icon_languagewords

Would Have Been Prudent To Look That Up Before Asking

| Washington, DC, USA | At The Checkout, Funny Names, Language & Words

(The customer in front of me is paying for her groceries and notices the cashier’s name tag.)

Customer: “Oh, ‘Prudence,’ what a lovely name!”

Cashier: “Thank you, ma’am.”

Customer: “What does it mean?”

Cashier: “It means ‘wisdom’ or ‘good judgment.’”

Customer: “Wonderful! And what language is it?”

Cashier: “Umm… English.”

icon_criminals

Time To Go On Law-Break

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I am working the opening of a new store. Florida law requires all employees under 18 have an unpaid thirty minute break every four consecutive hours they work. Because it is the opening week a lot of employees are working so they can be trained, which means somebody is on break almost all the time. At one point a guest flags me down to complain.)

Customer: “I’ve been standing here forever! And all these kids are just sitting out here ignoring me!”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. They are on break.”

Customer: “Well, I still don’t see why they couldn’t help me! They’re just lazy!”

Me: “Ma’am… they are on break. Florida state law requires them to have an uninterrupted break.”

Customer: “It wouldn’t have been hard for them to help me. Kids are just so lazy these days!”

Me: “Ma’am. Unless you want to pay the fines we could incur for them causing us to break the law for helping YOU they aren’t going to help you. But I can.”

Customer: “Well. You don’t have to be rude about it. Now, I need some ketchup!”

Me: “You’re standing right next to it…”

Page 13/2,996First...1112131415...Last