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Targeting The Wrong Worker

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests

(While I typically don’t, my sisters and mother-in-law like to go do the Black Friday sales after Thanksgiving every year and they’ve invited me to join them. Since I enjoy bonding with them, I decide to go. I am wearing a red t-shirt. We’re currently in K-mart, where the employees wear blue, and I’m looking at some sport-themed blankets when another customer comes to stand by me.)

Customer: “Hmmm…”

Me: *still looking*

Customer: *loudly clears throat*

Me: *glances at her before going back to looking*

Customer: “Excuse me, I need to find [Item].”

Me: “Oh… ma’am, I don’t work here.”

Customer: “But you’re wearing red…” *she finally gets a good look at my shirt, which has a ninja on the front*

Customer: “I’m not in Target anymore, am I?”

Me: “No… No, you’re not.”

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You Will Be Ejected From The Building

| Wales, UK | Family & Kids, Tourists/Travel

(I work in an aviation museum, and like to have a little banter with visitors as they buy tickets.)

Me: “Thank you. Please mind your heads on low wingtips; there’s a few sharp edges here and there. Some of the aircraft, you can sit in the cockpits, but please keep your eye on the youngsters and don’t let them press the ejection seat button.”

Parent: “Ha ha, the insurance goes through the roof.”

Me: “No, sir, the kid goes through the roof.”

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Has A Rock Solid Murder Plan

| CA, USA | Family & Kids, School

(I work as a swim teacher at my local swimming pool. My first lesson on a Saturday morning is two brothers, about three and four years old.)

Me: “Now, you want to move your arms like this, to pull the water!” *demonstrates*

Four-Year Old: *excitedly* “If I killed my brother with a rock in a river, the rock would be too heavy and drag me under, too!”

Me: “Okay… let’s work on some kicks.”

(Apart from this incident and occasionally hugging each other like koala bears, those two were great students!)

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Needs To Change Your Change Tactics

| Cheshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money

(I’m volunteering at a charity shop. Most of our customers are elderly or middle-aged. On this particular day I’m helping another volunteer put a picture up when a man in his early twenties comes in. He looks around for just a minute or so and grabs a card from the stand at the front of the shop.)

Man: “Just this card, please.”

Me: “Of course. Do you want a bag to put it in?”

Man: “Whatever.”

Me: “Just £1.00 then please.”

(The man takes a note out of his pocket. I take it and start to sort out the change and pass it over to the man.)

Man: “Wait a minute, love. I’ve got some right change here if it’ll help you out. If I give you some coins back can you give me a note?”

Me: *feeling a little confused* “Erm, okay. That won’t be a problem.” *I count the change; I realise he’s left me short* “Sorry, I need another £1 coin.”

Man: “Really? Okay. Tell you what. I’ll give you some coins to make that right. You just give me my money back and we’ll be even, right?”

Me: “Okay.”

(I feel uneasy but give him the money, and he starts to rifle through the notes he has again.)

Man: “Actually can you change this for me instead?”

(He’s leaning over the counter, is quite intimidating, and I am starting to realise something isn’t quite right.)

Man: “I just want my change!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’ve given you the money you need.” *I close the till*

Man: “But you still owe me change!”

Me: “I can call my manager down to deal with your request if you like?”

(I called upstairs to the manager and told her to double-check the change I had given the man. She came down to confront him and he looked shifty and decided to just leave, despite me “owing him change.” I told the manager everything that happened and she checked the till – he had somehow taken £10 from us, and had tried to take more. We reported him to the police and found out he had tried this on in a few other shops, including a well-known supermarket where he’d threatened the cashier. I later found out that this was a short-change scam or change-raising scam, where the scam artist confuses the cashier to get their money back plus extra. I printed out a warning and left it in the staff room. A few months later another man came in and tried the exact same thing. I said no, closed the till, they caught him on camera leaving the shop, and he was taken in by the police.)

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Pun-gent Peanut Butter

DC, USA | Food & Drink, Puns

(I work in a grocery store and we offer freshly ground peanut butter. It sells very well so I usually end up making it every day. A customer stops to watch.)

Customer: “Literally the daily grind, huh?”

Me: “Yup! I make it every day!”

(An elderly customer behind me overhears us.)

Customer #2: “Well, that’s just nuts!”

(We all laughed and it completely made my day.)

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