You Can’t Control The Birds And The Bees

| USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I’m a supervisor at the water park. As I walk by Guest Relations I overhear a woman demanding corporate’s phone number and a copy of her complaint form. I head out to cover turnstiles. Shortly after the woman walks by.)

Woman: *loudly* “I’m going to social media with this! This is terrible customer service!”

Me: “What’s she upset about?”

Coworker: “She’s mad about the seagulls and bees. Things we literally have no control over.”


A Uniform Response, Part 2

| Auckland, New Zealand | Bizarre

(I have just got off a twelve-hour day, and two-hour meeting, so I am stopping at an Italian restaurant to collect some dinner. I am tired, but also wearing full uniform, which states where I work, and has our logo emblazoned on every item of clothing, including my scarf and handbag. It is very obvious that I work for a travel agency, and not for this restaurant. The staff are all wearing bright red aprons which are starkly opposite my dark navy blue uniform.)

Waitress: “What can I get you?”

Me: *places order*

Waitress: “That’s awesome, and will be 10 minutes. Do you mind taking a seat in our waiting area?”

(I take a seat and start reading a magazine. I am barely awake, and it’s very obvious.)

Customer #1: “Hey! You aren’t allowed to sleep here! Get back to work!”

(The noise has jolted me from my daze and I wonder who they are talking to.)

Customer #1: “Ring up my bill! And give me your manager’s name! I can’t believe you have the audacity to sleep on the job!”

Me: “Sorry? I don’t work here. ”

Customer #1: “You’re wearing a uniform!”

Waitress: “Ma’am! I’ll ring up your order. This lady is another customer. She’s just waiting for a takeaway.”

Customer #1: “Well, if she doesn’t work here, she shouldn’t be wearing a uniform!”

(The waitress assists the customer, and tries to scoot her out the door, but not before she stops to give me a literal finger wagging.)

Waitress: “I’m so sorry. Your order won’t be much longer. I’m not sure why she thought you were staff!”

(A few minutes pass, and my order is ready. I go up to pay and collect my food. I am second in line. There is a large jar of candy for customers to take a few when they are paying.)

Customer #2: *turning to me* “Am I allowed to take these?”

Me: “I don’t work here. I don’t know.”

Customer #2: “Oh! You don’t work here?”

Me: “NO.”

Customer #2: “Then why are you wearing a uniform?”

(Thankfully at this stage my order was done, and I was able to leave. I still heard the “Why doesn’t she work here?” echoing as I ran!)


Has Confidence In Your Network

| USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Technology

Customer: “I cannot get on VPN.”

Me: “Okay, do you have any error message?”

Customer: “Hang on a second. First I have to connect to Wi-Fi right?”

Me: “Yes, that would help for sure.”

Customer: “How do I do that? Shall I click on that bars icon?”

Me: “Yes, go ahead.”

Customer: “Now I have a list of possibilities. Which is correct, [his, not very common, last name]’s network?”

Me: “That sounds like the one.”

Customer: “Now it says ‘connected’. What is next? Internet Explorer?”

Me: “Yes, and then go to VPN landing page.”

Customer: “Oh, is it [exactly correct URL]?”

Me: “Yes, that is the one.”

Customer: “Now what? It is asking for user name and password. Is it [correct ID] and [correct type of password]?”

Me: “Yes, go ahead.”

Customer: “Oh, it says that I’m connected to VPN. Thank you very much for your help.”

Me: “No problem, sir. I just do not know what should I put in your ticket.”

Customer: “Oh, put there that I just needed some confidence.”


A Healthy Customer Interaction

| CT, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

(I work in a pharmacy. A youngish woman approaches the counter.)

Customer: “I’m here to pick up my daughter’s prescription.”

Me: “Of course. Can I get her name and DOB?” *She gives it and I look it up* “I’m sorry, but we don’t have it here.”

Customer: “The doctor should’ve called it in two days ago. It’s all right, though, I can use my DEA to call it in.” *a series of numbers and letters used to identify doctors*

(I’m a little surprised. She doesn’t really look old enough to prescribe.)

Me: “Ma’am, are you a doctor?”

Customer: “No, but I have a DEA.”

Me: “Well, that might not be necessary. It might be on hold at drop off.”

Customer: “All right, I’ll check there first.”

(She goes to the other counter, and I lose track of her with my own customers. About 30 or 45 minutes later, she comes back to pick up her daughter’s prescription.)

Me: “Oh, glad she got her [prescription].”

Customer: “Yeah, it wasn’t over there, though. Glad I could take care of her and call it in without having to call the doctor. ”

(It’s late on a Sunday afternoon, when most doctor’s offices are closed.)

Me: “It must be reassuring you can always get her medicine. You could do it too if you had an NPI [other set of identifying numbers, necessary for calling in narcotics].”

Customer: “Oh, I have one of those, too, but I don’t really use it. I work at a women’s health clinic, so I’ve never prescribed those.”

(I work in a pharmacy in an area known for prescription drug abuse, and where narcotics are given out like candy. This was reassuring on her part.)

Me: “Oh. Here’s her prescriptions ”

(We do have a few patients that are doctors, and write their own prescriptions, and occasionally for their family that are also our patients. They’re usually arrogant, however, and argue prescription prices, drug types, etc. She was extremely nice, though. It made my day a little bit better.)


Unable To PIN Down The Problem

| Kingston, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Wild & Unruly

(I work in a call center which serves as technical support for a very large cellphone company. In order for agents to verify a customer’s account under their cellphone number, they would need to provide us with the last four digits of their SIN (or ‘PIN’ as we called it), which we are already able to see on their account. If they choose not to verify their account, they only get limited access to it (like making a payment, or asking technical support questions.)

Me: “[Standard agent greeting]. May I have your four digit PIN, please?”

Customer: “How do I find out my PIN?”

Me: “It is the last four digits of your social insurance number.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t feel comfortable giving you that information!”

Me: “If you choose not to verify, I do have to warn you that you that there will be limited access to your account. As well, I can currently see your PIN; all I need is for you to verify it for me.”

Customer: “DIDN’T YOU HEAR ME? I do NOT feel comfortable giving you that kind of information.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, what can I help you with today?”

Customer: “I want to know what the last four numbers this phone has called.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but because you chose to not verify this account, I can not give you that information. I can help you out with technical questions or make payments.”

Customer: *very irate now* “WHAT?! I NEED to know what numbers this phone has called!”

Me: “If you would like to verify…”

Customer: “I ain’t verifying nothing, you stupid b****!” *slams phone down*

(I was assuming she meant to actually hang up but in her anger the phone didn’t actually disconnect and I had to listen to her throw things around and curse for three minutes before I was able to give a goodbye script and disconnect.)

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