icon_crazyrequests

Demanding To A Fault(line), Part 2

| USA | Crazy Requests

(Overheard at work:)

Coworker: “Your latency is because an earthquake severed an underwater cable. You’re currently being routed around the longer side of the fiber ring. And unfortunately, it will be weeks before a ship can run a new cable.”

(Pause.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry. Did you just ask me for advanced notice of service impacting earthquakes?”

Related:
Demanding To A Fault(line)

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Tofoolery

| USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at a butchers shop. A young woman enters with a container.)

Woman: “Did you know none of your items are vegan?”

Me: “Yes…”

Woman: “If you want more vegan customers, you should sell some of my tofu loaf.”

(She hands me the container.)

Me: “Um, I don’t think I’m going to be getting a lot of vegan customers no matter what I sell.”

Woman: “That’s a shame. You’re losing the hipster customers, which makes up, like, 50% of customers.”

Me: “Okay, thanks…”

Woman: *suddenly shrieking* “SELL TOFU LOAF!”

icon_wildunruly

Drive-Thru To The Explosive End

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

(I work the graveyard shift and have to clean the whole store while still taking orders. We are trained to not sell at the window for safety reasons, since the area isn’t the safest place you can be.)

Man: *knocks on the window*

Me: *cracks it open a bit* “I’m sorry, sir, but I am not allowed to sell at the window.”

Man: “Why not? I’m a paying customer. I should be able to get my food!”

Me: “Sir, the drive-thru is for cars only. These are corporate policies…”

Man: “So you’re saying I can’t buy anything here right now since I don’t have a car?”

Me: “Yes, that’s exactly what I am saying.”

Man: “But I’m hungry.”

Me: “Sir, I told you I can’t sell at the window. I have stuff I still need to clean: my dining room, my fryers, my shake machine, bathrooms, and drive-thru, just to name a few. A few tacos to get written up seems hardly worth it; my boss has video cameras watching everything that goes on in case a customer causes a disturbance or if an employee tries to steal food or money.”

(I point to a camera which my boss has there just to deter people; it doesn’t actually work. I use this so I have an excuse to get back to cleaning.)

Man: “So you’re saying you just don’t give a f***, then?”

Me: “Well, I guess if you want to put it that way, then yes, sir, you describe that on point.”

Man: “Homie, I should just beat your a** right now.”

(I look at him with a straight face, then yell “HAHAHA” and close the window and put the metal napkin holders in front of it so he can’t open it, since it has no lock. I walk away, and as I’m walking away I hear him hit the window. My headset then dings indicating a car is coming to order.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Establishment]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: *sounds like he’s yelling from really far away* “Uh, yeah, you know your speaker is on the ground out here, right?”

Me: “W… what?”

(I told the guy to come up to the window so I could place his order because we could barely hear each other. I went outside and propped the speaker up against the menu board, with plenty of cursing to accompany it.)

icon_languagewords

Some Customers Just Need A Hug

, | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Language & Words

(The idiot in this case is myself.)

Vet Clinic: “Is this an emergency or can you hold?”

Me: *flustered because I was expecting the standard ‘Can I help you’ greeting, and realizing I was in trouble halfway through* “Sure, you can hold… me.”

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Got No Tat For Tit

| MN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(It’s a slow day at the retail store where I work and I have no one in line at my cash register. One of my managers walks over to my till.)

Manager: “Turn your light off. I need to talk to you for a moment.”

(I turn my light off, a little nervous.)

Me: “Am I in trouble or something?”

Manager: “Okay, well, no, not really, but I kinda have to talk to you anyway because it’s policy.”

Me: “Okay?”

Manager: “We had a customer complain to us about your shirt.”

(The shirt I’m wearing is within our uniform regulations. It’s a v-neck that doesn’t show any cleavage, although it is flattering to my figure.)

Me: “Why?”

Manager: “Well, he said that your shirt was too low-cut and it was inappropriate and that, when you leaned over, he could see your tattoo down your shirt…”

(I stare at my manager for several long seconds, dumbfounded.)

Me: “[Manager], I don’t have tattoos ANYWHERE.”

Manager: *laughs* “Y’see, I didn’t think you would!”

(Satisfied that she has followed through on our policy, my manager leaves it at that. Almost a year later, I’m wearing the same shirt and am about to open one of the registers. Our registers are set up in lines where the cashier is facing their customers on the opposite side of the belt, but behind them is where the line for the next register is. I start to reorganize the register because it’s messy when a man in the line behind me mumbles something.)

Customer: “…your shirt.”

(Thinking it was something nice, I politely smile to the customer.)

Customer: “You look like a whore!”

(My face falls flat when all of a sudden it hits me — this is the same man who complained about my shirt before. Without opening my till, I walk to a manager and explain what happened. After my manager goes to confront the customer and finds he’s already left, my manager comes back to me.)

Manager: “Sorry about that. That guy’s been saying stuff about the female cashiers for several months now, regardless of what they’re wearing. We try to kick him out when we find him.”

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