Four A Few Dollars More

, , , , , | Right | September 14, 2017

(I am an assistant manager. We are located in a suburb, and our clientele tends to be on the affluent side. It is not common for us to have clients from the city branches come out to our area. A customer approaches the counter and asks to withdraw money. I am standing nearby and overhear the conversation, though I am waiting on the phone and cannot interject.)

Customer: “I want to withdraw money, but I have nothing in the account.”

Teller: “Let me look it up… You are correct. We cannot do a withdrawal, because the balance is currently at zero.”

Customer: “It’s just $4! You can withdraw $4!”

Teller: “I am sorry, ma’am, I cannot do a withdrawal if it will take the account negative.”

Customer: “You don’t understand! I drove all around the city looking for these lamps and [Small Chain Store] has them! I’ve already spent $20 in gas going back and forth from the city! They’ll only hold them for one day! I can’t drive back out! It’s just $4!”

(The customer continues to ramble on over how she thought she enough money, but only needs $4 to get the set, and she really needs both lamps.)

Customer: “Well, ask someone else! Get your supervisor! My social security check comes in every month to this bank, you’ll have the money tonight!”

(I have returned to my desk to resume my phone call, but I am directly in front of the teller line. The teller approaches the closest supervisor, and he confirms that they cannot do the transaction, and returns to the customer he is helping.)

Customer: “This is why I hate this bank! You’re awful, horrible people! You have no customer service!”

(The customer has interrupted the supervisor and his customer, making the second customer step away from the window and cover her information and money.)

Supervisor: “Ma’am, we can’t take an account negative. If the money isn’t in the account, there is nothing we can give you.”

Customer: “I see the money there in your drawer! You have it! You just won’t give it to me!”

Supervisor: “So, what you’re saying is you want me to either steal from the bank or give you the money from my own wallet.”

Customer: “Yes! It’s just $4! You can take it from my social security deposit. It comes tonight!”

Supervisor: “We can’t help you until it is in your account. Come back tomorrow.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I want to see the manager!”

(I have finished up my phone call at this point, and I know it will inevitably fall upon me to handle the customer, as the branch manager had his own customer. The customer storms into my office and reiterates her lamp story. I look up the account.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, unless you would like to apply for a loan or get a credit card…”

Customer: “Fine! Give me a loan for f******* $4!”

Me: “Unfortunately, neither the loan nor the Visa would be approved today. Additionally, for loans originating in the branch, it’s a $99 fee, so you’ll probably want to reconsider coming back tomorrow.”


(Customer #2, the one who was interrupted earlier, runs up, slams down a $5 bill, then runs to her car.)

Customer: *looking surprised, tries to catch the other woman before running back and jabbing her finger in my face* “You see THAT?! That’s a good person! Not like YOU!

(The customer leaves and I am left in utter shock at the entire situation. My coworker walks over to me.)

Coworker: “You know, you’re going to turn on the TV next week and find yourself on that show ‘What Would You Do’ or whatever it is.”

Me: “Yeah, maybe…”

Supervisor: “It’s Friday. Her social security won’t be in until Sunday night, at the earliest.”

(And that was when I knew I needed to get out of retail banking.)

Getting A Lot Of Mileage Out Of That One Question

, , | Right | September 14, 2017

(I sell used auto parts online and I have a large selection of instrument clusters [the gauges behind the steering wheel]. I can’t get a mileage reading off newer model clusters because they are digital. Some customers don’t care. Some don’t want to buy without the mileage. And some, like this guy, doesn’t understand that we don’t know. This whole conversation takes place over the phone.)

Me: “Hello.”

Customer: “Yes, I see you have on your site an instrument cluster for [Car].”

Me: “Sure, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like to know the mileage on that.”

Me: “I’m sorry; if the mileage isn’t listed, then we don’t know it unfortunately.”

Customer: “So, you don’t have the mileage off that?”

Me: “Is it listed there?”

Customer: “It says ‘mileage unknown.’”

Me: “Then, I’m sorry; we don’t know it.”

Customer: “Well, can you get it and call me back?”

Me: “We can’t get a reading on the digital clusters; we don’t have anywhere to connect them to get a mileage reading.”

Customer: “So, you don’t know the mileage on it.”

Me: “No, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Well, I really need one with [amount of miles].”

Me: “We don’t know the mileage on this one unfortunately.”

Customer: “Well, do you have another one with [amount of miles]?”

Me: “I’m sorry; we can’t get the mileage off any of them as they’re digital.”

Customer: “So, you can’t get the mileage off this one and call me back later?”

Me: “No, we can’t know it.”

Customer: *long pause* “I really need to know the mileage before I buy this cluster.”

Me: “I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Well, all right then.” *click*

Me: *rubs eyes*

Not Always Right: The Tenth Anniversary!

Right | September 14, 2017

Dear readers, we will soon be celebrating the 10th anniversary of Not Always Right!

On an average afternoon, one October in 2007, we launched our first story into the world, and before anyone could scream “I want a refund!” we were inundated with many more wonderful, outrageous, bizarre, and hilarious tales of retail woe that we shared in solidarity with all our customer-facing readers out there.

Since then, we’ve expanded to cover many more memorable types of interaction. From the classroom, to home-life, to awkward first-dates, the list goes on…


To celebrate with us, we invite you, our readers to recall your favorite stories from over the years. Please leave the story title in the comments, and maybe let us know why you enjoyed this particular story so much. We would love to hear from you!

I Regret Nothing

, , , | Right | September 14, 2017

(I am a computer tech at an electronics retailer. A customer walks up to the counter.)

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you have [tuning equipment for a home theater system]?”

Me: “I would check with audio-video, down in the back.”

Customer: “Oh, I already did, they said you didn’t have it.”

Me: “Then we don’t have it.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Ma’am, if audio-video says we don’t have it, we don’t have it. They’re the ones who would know.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks…” *muttered as she walks away* “…for nothing.”

Age Ain’t Nothin’ But A Number

, | | Right | September 14, 2017

Throwback ThursdaysTHROWBACK THURSDAY! Check out this awesome story that you may have missed! What’s a crazy technical support experience you’ve had? Let us know in the comments!

(Yet another power cord/paint dispenser story…)

Me: “Okay, it’s not plugged in.”

Him: “It’s plugged in–it goes right to the back of the computer!”

Me: “No, that’s a serial cable, not a power cable.”

Him: “What’s this orange one then?”

Me: “That connects the computer to the network. It’s also not a power cable and doesn’t connect to the dispenser anyway. The one for the dispenser is black and has a three-prong plug on the end.”

Him: “Listen to me, young lady, I have been on this earth for 56 years and I know what a power cord looks like!”

Me: “Yes, well, I’ve been on this earth 34 years and I know that some things have to be plugged into an outlet to work.”



Him: “Oh. There it is. Okay, it’s working now. Thanks.”

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