Has Some Serious Bag Baggage

| IA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I work in a fairly high-end department store in the handbag department. Recently we’ve started contracting with a secondhand vendor to sell either retired display models or used and refurbished handbags from an haute couture French designer — an average price range $1000 for a bag. While some of the bags are actually used, some were only on display in the store or carried by a model in a fashion show, which in the designer’s eyes is enough to be “used,” but for the average person is no big deal. People get very excited about the bags and we sell a lot of them.)

Customer: “Can I see this bag?”

Me: “Of course!” *pulls bag out of case* “These bags are from [Secondhand Vendor], so they’re all either retired display models or used and refurbished.”

(I may as well have said, based on the horror with which this woman reacted: “These bags are made out of human skin by Satan himself.”)

Customer: *literally DROPS bag as if it burned her, lets out horrified gasp* “They’re USED? I don’t want a USED handbag!” *literally RUNS several feet away before turning around, waving, and saying* “Thank you!”

(If she hadn’t run off, I could’ve told her that based on its condition, the bag she was looking at had in fact likely never been used more than sitting on display in a store, but oh well. I’m sure we’ll sell it to someone who’s excited to be able to buy a bag at a lower retail price when they’re otherwise unavailable in our state!)

Using Rude Language

| Bethesda, Wales, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Language & Words

(A good 90% of our customers speak Welsh, so I end up speaking Welsh 90% of the time.)

Me: *in Welsh* “Good evening, sir. Would you like a carrier bag for your shopping?”

Customer: *unintelligible grunt*

Me: *still in Welsh* “Was that ‘yes’ to a bag, sir?”

Customer: *in English* “What?”

Me: *in English* “Sorry, sir! Would you like a bag for your purchases?”

Customer: “Do I look Welsh to you?”

Me: “I couldn’t say, sir. I noticed a daffodil and a dragon pin in your jacket and took you to be local. I am sorry if I caused offence.”

Customer: “You shouldn’t speak Welsh.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You shouldn’t speak Welsh. It’s rude.”

(I pondered arguing back about his own rudeness for telling me I should not speak my language in my country, but settled for just saying “sorry” again and completing his transaction in silence.)

Thinks You’re The Big Cheese

| AL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work inside a store, giving out free samples of specific branded products. I don’t actually work FOR the store, I only work inside it to push the products. My shift is over and I am cleaning and packing up when a lady taps me on the shoulder.)

Lady: “Is the price for this $3?”

(She shows me a meat/cheese tray and points to a price tag that says “cheese dip.”)

Me: “No, this price tag is for this product.”

(I point to the cheese dip, and I notice the price tag for the item in her hand is missing.)

Lady: “But this product was underneath that price tag, which means I can have it for $3.”

Me: “No, because they are two completely different items.”

Lady: “But the price says $3!”

Me: “Yes, $3 for cheese dips, not for meat and cheese trays.”

Lady: “I want to speak to your manager right now!”

Me: “I don’t actually work here, but I can try to find someone who does!”

Lady: “You BETTER find me someone who works here, like YOUR MANAGER!”

Me: “I don’t work here!”

(At this point her teenage daughter was in the background saying, “can we just go?” over and over. I waved my arm at a passing employee and quickly gathered my supplies to bolt, but I heard her behind me saying how I refused to help and refused to get my manager!)

Slightly Bending (Over) The Truth

| Leiden, The Netherlands | Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I work at a visitor center, where I arrange the group activities. In the beginning of September, a customer booked a canal cruise in an open boat with her group of 30 participants. Almost two months later, I receive this e-mail from her:)

Customer: “I would like to give some feedback on our activity in September. During our canal cruise, the skipper of our boat was very clumsy because he collided several times against the wall.”

(I directly contacted thecruise company; the manager and I know each other very well. I send him the customer’s complaint by mail and I get an answer almost immediately:)

Manager: “Haha, yes, I remember this cruise and customer! Oh, my god, that this customer is blaming our skipper! During the cruise, the boat will pass a lot of bridges, so before passing one bridge, the whole group had to bend over because of the low bridge. One customer exaggerated while bending over and hit the throttle! You can guess what happened then…”

Echo Tango Phonetic Home

| UK | Funny Names, Language & Words

(I work for an online jewellery company. We offer a customer design service. A customer calls up asking to speak to one of our custom design specialists.)

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name] from [Jewellery Company]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I am interested in your custom design service. Is there anyone I can speak to?”

Me: “Sure, I can give the name and number of one our specialists so they can discuss some ideas with you.”

Customer: “Okay, what’s their name?”

Me: “Pritesh, as in P for Papa, R for Romeo, I for Indigo, T for Tango, E for Echo, S for Sierra and H for Hotel.”

Customer: “Wow that’s a long name!”

(I’m slightly confused by this as Pritesh doesn’t seem that long.)

Me: “What do you mean, sir?”

Customer: “Well, that’s a lot of middle names to have: Pritesh Papa, Romeo, Indigo—”

Me: “No, sir! I was using phonetic to help spell his name. It’s P-R-I-T-E-S-H.”

Customer: “Well, why didn’t you say that!?” *hangs up*

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