Top 5 Funniest Stories Of August 2014

Not Always Right | Roundups

August 2014 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Right’s top-rated stories for last month!

  1. In Soviet Russia, Accent Speaks You (3,737 thumbs up)
  2. Bagged Himself A Steal (2,490 thumbs up)
  3. Children Can Man-age To Listen (2,264 thumbs up)
  4. Casting The First Stone Cold Glare (2,185 thumbs up)
  5. His Attitude Speaks Volumes (2,124 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

A Minute Makes More Than A Minute Difference

, | Boise, ID, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(On Sundays, we close both dine in and drive thru at 9 pm.)

Customer: *in drive thru* “Hey, how late are you guys open?”

Me: “Well, it’s 8:58. We’re closing both dine in and drive thru in two minutes.”

Customer: “Okay, we’ll be right in!”

(The customers proceeded to come inside and took 20 minutes to decide what they wanted, then tried to stay and eat inside. My manager let them. I had to stay an hour late, with school in the morning.)

Let Me Know When You’re Really REALLY Closed

| WA, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(Our mall closes early on Sunday, though some people don’t quite get the message. My coworker has gone to take out the trash and left a door unlocked but closed so she can get back in, as we normally do while my manager is closing the registers. A couple walks in after letting themselves in.)

Manager: “O-oh, hey, guys. How are you doing tonight?” *stops her counting and shuts the drawer to go around the counter*

Customer #1: “Hey there. We’re just looking.”

(My manager is confused but follows them, doing her normal sales thing until the couple finally catches on.)

Customer #1: “Are you guys closed?”

Manager: “Yes, we are.”

Customer #2: “No, like… Are you guys REALLY closed? Not just saying it?”

Manager: “… Yes. I’m closing down the registers and I can’t process any more transactions.”

Customer #1: *snippy suddenly* “Well, we just want to look, anyway!”

Just Not Feeling Those Fees

| The Philippines | Extra Stupid, Money, Wild & Unruly

(I work in a call center industry in Manila, Philippines. We cater to customers in Europe; most likely in the United Kingdom. We handle an online site where they buy and sell some of their items. Normally, customers are being charged for advertising their items on the site depending on for how much they sold their item.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Online Site] customer support. You’re speaking with [My Name]. How can I help you today?

Customer: *mad and loud voice* “Why the f*** am I being charged for listing my car on your website, when it says you have free listings today?”

Me: “I do apologise for the inconvenience and misunderstanding regarding on the information you saw. Let me check what happened.”

(I place the customer’s call on hold, and check on his listing.)

Me: “Thank you for patiently waiting, [Customer]. Upon checking on your ad, you placed your car on sale in our site, and if you tried reading our notification before you place your advertisement online, it will show you how much you’ll be charged once the car was sold.”

Customer: “What the f*** are you talking about? You said it was free listing day, I don’t understand. You f***ing mislead customers!”

Me: “[Customer], let me walk you through in listing your items and I’ll show you the note at the bottom before you list your item online.”

Customer: “Sure! I bet you’re f****** stupid and don’t know what you’re talking about. Go on and walk me through.”

(As I walk him through, I show him where he can see the fees.)

Me: “Now look at the bottom part of the page before clicking the button ‘save’ to advertise your item online; you’ll see that [Our Site] is excluded during Free Listing Days.”

Customer: “Oh!” *seems ashamed, but still keeps shouting* “You should make that note larger! And you should know that the reason why I’m selling my car is that I don’t have any money! You stupid piece of s***! How can I have money if you’re going to charge me for this, huh?”

Me: *still calm* “[Customer], I understand that you’d like to have the money in a whole amount. However, like what you saw when I walked you through, you will be charged no matter what happens.”

Customer: *still shouting* “I won’t pay your d*** fees! I want to speak with your manager! You’re an idiot and I don’t wanna talk to you!”

Me: “All right. Let me place your call on hold for a couple of minutes while I transfer you to my manager.”

(I talk to my manager/supervisor and tell him what has happened. Then he takes the call)

Manager: “Thank you for patiently waiting, [Customer]. My representative told me that you’re having concerns with your listing fees and he already explained what had happened. Is that correct? Can you explain more what happened?”

Customer: *explains his issues for more than 10 minutes, over and over again*

Manager: “I do apologise [Customer], but we only follow protocols that were given to us. And everything was clear that you will be charged for listing your call no matter what happens.”

Customer: “Well, f*** you! F*** your rules! I will not pay you!”

Manager: “If that’s the case, our collections department will be the one who’ll get in touch with you.”

Customer: “F*** you! I’ll sue you! I’ll go to your place and kill you!” *click*

Think They Are The Masters Race

| FL, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, School

(I work in a call center for a large insurance company. My desk partner has just gotten a call from an extremely irate man. He is trying to find anything he can use to insult her. She is Filipino, but she was born in the US. She has no accent to speak of and a very American name.)

Customer: “Are you even in America? Where are you located?”

Coworker: “I’m in our Florida office, sir.”

Customer: “Well at least you’re not some dot-head.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Yeah, well, even if you ain’t foreign, you’re obviously an idiot working in a call center. I don’t have time to talk to some uneducated girl.”

Coworker: “Actually, sir, in addition to having a license to process insurance policies, I have a Master’s degree. So unless you have a Doctorate, I’m certain I’ve had more education than you, and I’m more than qualified to help you.”

Customer: “Oh… uh…”

(He didn’t have much to say after that, and I just sat there cackling.)

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