Unhappy Customers Can Sour The Milk

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(A customer walks up to my cash register with a big carton of goat’s milk. He slams it down on my conveyor belt, looking angry and puffy.)

Customer: “Do you know the person that milked these goats?”

Me: *completely stunned* “Uh… no. I’m sorry, I don’t know who milked them. But I’m sure if you call the company that produces the milk and give them the batch number, they could put you in touch with the farmer, and HE OR SHE might know the person who operated the machine that milked the goats for that particular batch.”

Customer: “Machine?! The goats are milked with machines?!”

Me: “Probably… that IS how they do it most of the time. But I don’t know for sure. Like I said, if you contact the company they’ll be able to give you more information.”

Customer: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS. IT’S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AS A STORE TO KNOW WHO HANDLES THE FOOD YOU SELL!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there’s really nothing more I can do to help you, aside from suggesting you call the company. If I may, why do you want to know who milks the goats?”

Customer: “BECAUSE I NEED TO KNOW IF THEY’RE KEEPING THE GOATS HAPPY. IF A GOAT IS UNHAPPY WHILE IT’S BEING MILKED, THEN THE MILK WILL BE SOUR. IT’S TRUE! I SAW IT ON A TV PROGRAM!”

(He then paid for his milk and left with it anyway, while I tried very hard not to burst out laughing.)

A Minor Mistake, Part 3

| UK | Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(Having asked for ID for two members of a family’s table and them not having any, the two young people buy cokes. However, not long afterwards I see them drinking cocktails purchased by the father.)

Me: “Excuse me, guys, but as I said at the bar I’m afraid I can’t let you two drink alcohol since you don’t have your ID with you.”

Father: “Yeah, but I bought them. So, it’s fine.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we can’t let anyone without ID drink alcohol. I need you to return those drinks or I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

Father: “You let them drink their drinks or I’m calling the police. You’ll get fired and you’ll end up arrested.”

Me: “You want to phone the police, to arrest me, because you supplied alcohol to a child?”

Father: “… We’ll leave.”

Related:
A Minor Mistake, Part 2
A Minor Mistake

Concept Of Unlimited Is Limited

| Seattle, WA, USA | Rude & Risque, Spouses & Partners

(A couple come into the Italian restaurant where I work. I seat them and hand them menus. After a moment, the man waves me over.)

Me: “Hi there. How can I help you today?”

Husband: “I don’t see unlimited salad or breadsticks on your menu.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. That’s a different restaurant. If you order the garlic bread, though, it comes with a lot of pieces! And our salads are very large.”

Husband: *to his wife* “I thought you said this place was just like Olive Garden.”

Wife: “I said it was Italian food like Olive Garden, sweetie. The menu’s not the same.”

Husband: *looking disappointed* “What’s chicken scallop pine?”

(I explain a few menu items, all of which he pronounces wrong, and they order. The woman kept giving me apologetic looks the whole time. Later, when I brought their food, the man was in the bathroom.)

Wife: “Sorry for the problems earlier. He’s not that bright, but he’s so good at other things, if you know what I mean.”

(I told her it was no problem, but I’m sure I was as red as our marinara sauce. It was really awkward serving them the rest of the meal, but she left a $20 tip.)

Your Passport To Being Banned

| USA | Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink

(I go into a bar I frequent. I had lost my wallet a few days earlier, but I know most of the bartenders, so I didn’t expect them to ask for identification. The woman working doesn’t recognize me, and asks for my ID. Also, I’m a 23-year-old white woman.)

Me: “I think I actually have my passport in my car. Hold on.”

(I go get it and show the bartender.)

Bartender: *not amused* “This isn’t you.”

Me: “No, it is…”

(I get this almost every time I show my passport, because it is an old picture and it really doesn’t look that much like me.)

Bartender: “Is this even real?”

(Now, I’m offended.)

Me: “It’s definitely me. I come here all the time and we went to [Community College] together!”

Bartender: “No, we didn’t. And this is DEFINITELY not you.”

Me: “It is! Look at the date it was issued. Look at my birth date. That picture was taken when I was 17. I’m 24 now, a little heavier, and my hair is longer and less pink, but it is DEFINITELY me!”

Bartender: “This is you?”

(She turns the passport to me and shows me the picture, one of an older man of Middle Eastern descent with a Saudi Arabian name and an impressive beard. A friend of mine had put his passport in my glove box months ago and then apparently forgot about it.)

Me: “You’re right; that’s not me.”

(Luckily, I had my actual passport, and was able to return my friend’s with an awesome story. With any luck at all, the bartender will fail to remember me again next time I go in.)

5 Stories Of Holy Moly

Not Always Right | Roundups

Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories Of Holy Moly Nothing brings out a customers bad side more than their righteous indignation!

  1. We Will We Will Praise You (1,330 thumbs up)
  2. Not Acting Their Sunday Best (1,358 thumbs up)
  3. What Would Jesus Discount?, Part 2 (1,579 thumbs up)
  4. They Taste A Bit Brimstoney (1,477 thumbs up)
  5. You Say Potato, I Say Catholic (862 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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