Calling About His C-Pee-Yew!

| England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I work for an IT company that provides technical support for IT equipment to customers.)

Me: “Welcome to the [Company] support desk. You’re speaking to [My Name]. How can I help?”

Customer: “My toilet is broken.”

Me: “Sorry, can you repeat that? You called an IT support desk about a toilet?”

Customer: “Yes, my toilet is blocked. Can you fix it remotely?”

Me: “Sorry, sir. I am unable to remote on to your toilet to unblock it. You will need to call a plumber if it is that bad or use a plunger.”

Customer: “You are supposed to be a support desk. You are not being helpful. Don’t you worry. I will call back and get another agent to help.” *click*

(The customer did call back. The manager got on the other agent’s phone, and basically laughed down the phone at the customer, asking if he has turned the toilet off and on again, or reinstalled the cistern.)

Pay It Forward, Driving Backwards

, | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Religion, Top

(I’m working the drive-through at my restaurant. A customer drives up.)

Customer #1: “Can I have a small [soda], please?”

Me: “That will be [amount]. Please pull forward.”

(The customer pulls up to the window and I hand her the drink. She hands me cash to pay for it.)

Customer #1: “Do you take personal checks?”

Me: “Uh, yes, we do, but you’ve already paid in cash, ma’am.”

Customer #1: “Yes. I want to pay for the next person in line, too.”

Me: “You want to pay for the next person?”

Customer #1: “My pastor challenged everyone at my church to perform an act of kindness this week. So I’ll just sign a blank check and you can write in how much the next person’s order costs. Is that okay?”

Me: “Hang on. I should probably check with my manager.”

(I explain the customer’s request to the manager, who looks a bit confused, but says we can do that.)

Me: “The manager says it’s okay, ma’am.”

Customer #1: “Great!”

(She signs a blank check and hands it to me, along with a religious tract.)

Customer #1: “Could you just let the next person know it’s all taken care of, and please give them that pamphlet, too?”

Me: “Yes, I certainly will.”

(She cheerfully drives away, saying ‘bless you.’ A few minutes later, the next customer comes through the drive-through.)

Customer #2: “Yeah, can I get a [sandwich combo] with a large [soda]?”

Me: “[Sandwich combo] with a large [soda]. Yes, sir. Please pull forward.”

Customer #2: *pulling up to the window* “You didn’t tell me how much it was back there.”

Me: “Well, you don’t have to worry about that, sir. The lady who came through the drive-through before you wrote out a check to take care of the next person’s order. She said she’d pay for it.”

Customer #2: “What? You’re joking.”

Me: “I swear.”

Customer #2: “How could she know how much my order would be?”

Me: “She left the amount line empty for me to fill in the cost of your order.”

Customer #2: “Well, s***, son! In that case, give me TWO [sandwich combos], four [sandwiches], four [other sandwiches], another large fries, a 20-piece [chicken nuggets], an apple pie, and a $50 gift certificate!”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer #2: “It’s a blank check, right? So just write what I f****** asked for.”

Me: “Hang on a minute.”

(My manager has been listening over my shoulder. He gives me a resigned shrug and tells me to do it. With all the items the customer asked for, the total is over $100. As I hand the customer his huge order, I also hand him the religious tract the woman gave me.)

Me: “She also asked me to give you this pamphlet, sir.”

Customer #2: *looking at it for two seconds before tossing it into his back seat* “Hah! Joke’s on her! I’m already a Christian!”

(I can still hear him laughing as he pulls away.)


Read this story as a comic!

It’s Made With Watership Down

| NH, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

(We have for sale a really soft brand of throw blankets. They’re called ‘Bunny Soft’ to reflect just how soft they are. A customer comes up to my register with one.)

Customer: “These aren’t made from real bunnies are they?”

Me: “No, they aren’t. It’s all polyester. I don’t even think real bunnies are this soft.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t want it if it’s made from real bunnies. That’s just not right.”

Trying Not To Read Ahead

| Iceland | Books & Reading, Health & Body

(I’m working the checkout counter when a cheerful old man, one of our regulars, comes to check out a book.)

Customer: “Do you also have that autobiography by [Author]?”

Me: “Let me check… Yes, we do have it. Would you like me to get it for you?”

Customer: “Oh, no. I’ll borrow it at a later date. I only ever borrow one book at a time, you know. After all, I’m in my 90s now. I might not live to return it!”

Separate Yourself From Sense

| Madison, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work as a cashier.)

Customer: “Hi. I’d like to do two separate transactions.”

Me: “No problem!”

(The customer divides her groceries into two piles. I finish the first, total it, and she pays. I begin to ring up the second order.)

Customer: “WHAT are you doing?!”

Me: “Uh… I just completed your first order, so now I’m doing your second.”

Customer: “But WHY did you separate them?”

Me: “Because… you told me to?”

(At this point, the customer behind her starts giggling.)

Customer: “… Oh.”

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