Need To Wake Up Then Make Up

| NM, USA | Awesome Customers, Hotels & Lodging

(I’m a 20-year-old female working the graveyard shift at the hotel. Two rather intoxicated men come in around 1 am. They are about 50 and 60 years old and they are around the little gift shop that we have near the front desk.)

Older Gentleman: “Man, I don’t know what I want, but I’m hungry.”

Me: “Not a problem.”

(I show him the frozen meals and such that we have.)

Older Gentleman: “Thanks. Can I get a wake up call at 6:30 in the morning?”

Me: “Sure…”

Younger Gentleman: “That’s bulls***. We have to be out of here by six in the morning.”

Older Gentleman: “You can leave at six. I ain’t getting up till 6:30.”

(The younger gentleman walks into the store, grabs a box of tampons, and hands it to the older gentleman.)

Younger Gentleman: “Here. Take two of these now and if you are still acting like a little b**** in the morning call me.”

Older Gentleman: *laughs and throws the tampons back at him*

Younger Gentleman: *to me* “Set this drunkard’s wake up call for 5:45, 6:00, and 6:15.”

Older Gentleman: *to me* “Yeah, whatever the little b**** boss says is fine. He’s my ride to the site.”

(They are both laughing as they walk away to their rooms after purchasing some food and drinks. The whole time I was trying not to laugh as I was dealing with them. Later, just before I go home, they both come down to talk to me.)

Older Gentleman: “I’m sorry about last night.  I’m hung over but wanted to apologize for possibly offending you.”

Me: “That’s okay. I thought it was funny. Made my night to see you two acting like that.”

(I hadn’t laughed that hard at work in a long time so I took pity on them both and gave them some painkillers for their hangovers before they had to go to work.)

Not Even Remotely Close, Part 3

| Columbus, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work for a large cable company, and we leave our personal number after an install so customers can call us with questions. I get a call from a customer while on a lunch break.)

Me: “Hello. This is [Name] with [Company].”

Customer: “Yes! You installed my cable a few weeks ago, and something is going on! Your box is broken, and it broke my TV!”

Me: “Okay… So, what exactly is happening?”

Customer: “I push the power button on the remote, and nothing turns on!”

(This is a common problem that’s easily fixed by simply pushing a different button on the remote.)

Me: “Oh! All you have to do is push [cable] button and then hit your power button, and it should turn back on. You might have dropped your remote and un-programmed it. It’s an easy fix!”

Customer: “I tried that. It’s not working!”

(I am thinking I’ll have to drive out and help this customer push a different button on the remote, when suddenly, it hits me.)

Me: “Ma’am… when you hit the buttons on your remote, do they light up at all?”

Customer: “No! They don’t do anything! I push and push and nothing happens!”

Me: “Ma’am, your remote just needs new batteries.”

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that? Don’t you just mail me a new one?”

Me: “Sorry, no. Enjoy your day, and thanks for choosing [Company].”

(Later, I found out she called my manager, and he had some poor soul run her out a new remote.)

Related:
Not Even Remotely Close, Part 2
Not Even Remotely Close

In Too Deep (Voice)

, | Canada | At The Checkout, Health & Body

(I’m a fairly feminine looking guy and my voice is relatively high. Sometimes I get mistaken for a girl. I’m checking a lady out at the register.)

Customer: “You have beautiful eyes. Has anyone ever told you that?”

Me: “Thank you! That’s very kind of you!”

Customer: “I see you here all the time and you’re so friendly and fun to talk to. I’d love to speak with your manager about your excellent service!”

Me: “Wow! Thank you so much! Unfortunately my manager isn’t in today, though. I think she’ll be in tomorrow.”

Customer: “All right, then. I’ll give the store a call tomorrow to speak with her. What’s your name, Miss?”

Me: “Sam.”

Customer: “Your full name?”

Me: “… Samuel.”

Customer: “… Oh.”

Me: *quietly, trying to make my voice a little deeper* “Would you like your receipt?”

Hair + Arm = Harem

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(My uniform exposes my arms that, for a woman, are hairy.)

Customer: “Wow, you have hairy arms.”

Me: *embarrassed* “Um, yeah.”

Customer: “I love women with hairy arms.”

(He grabs my arm and feels it. I am shocked, and start backing away from him.)

Customer: “Would you like to join my harem of hairy women?”

(At that point I abandoned my post and ran to my manager. When we came back the customer was gone.)

A Slave To Fashion

| New London, CT, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(A male customer in his late 40s comes into the store and asks if we have any dresses. Thinking that he is shopping for someone else, I show him a few dresses.)

Customer: “Thanks! My name is Bonny.”

(He starts telling me his life story. After what feels like an age…)

Customer: “Do you get a lot of cross-dressers in the store?”

Me: “We get one or two.”

(I take him to a fitting room so he can try on the dresses.)

Customer: “I am going to a school to learn how to be a cross-dresser. I have special ‘teachers.’ According to them, I have to call you ‘Mistress.’ And if I am doing anything bad, you have to punish me however you see fit.”

(I was freaked out. He then came back out to show me his ‘outfit’ that included tights, high heels, a dress, purse, and sparkle jewelry that I had to put on him. After I had to put the necklace and bracelet on him, he then curtsied to me. It was the freakiest thing that happened to me. He also curtsied for my manager and coworker. But he never bought anything; he just wanted to dress up in our clothes.)

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