It’s Scary What They Want Refunds For

| Orlando, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(A woman walks into our haunted house with her 10-year-old son, buying admission for the two of them. After she comes out, she storms over to me, a look of anger on her face.)

Customer: “Refund. Now!”

Me: “Ma’am, as you can see by this sign, we have a strict ‘No Refund’ policy.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I want my money back, and I want it now! I want to speak with the manager of this place.”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, I am the manager.”

Customer: “Well, then you can give me a refund.”

Me: “Before we take this any further, I’d like to know why you want a refund.”

Customer: “Do you have any idea how bad this place scared my child? He was terrified!”

Me: “Well, in that case, I certainly cannot give you a refund.”

Customer: “Oh? Why’s that?”

Me: “You see, ma’am, this is a haunted house. Our job here is to scare and frighten everyone who comes in here. You said you son was scared when he went in. Then you got what you paid for.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I didn’t think it would scare him THAT bad!”

Me: “Then we’ve exceeded expectations.”

Customer: “No, you didn’t! You scared a little ten year old boy to death!”

Me: “As I stated, that is our job. It is up to the family of children to decide whether the child should go in or not.”

Customer: “I think it would be up to the workers here to not scare a child who’s coming through!”

Me: “Then they wouldn’t be doing their job, ma’am.”

Customer: “So, I can’t get a refund?”

Me: “I’m afraid not.”

Customer: “You should change the policy about refunds, then.”

Me: “I have no power to do that. I’m the manager, but not the owner. And he has told us that if we were to give out refunds, we would have no profit, because people would abuse the refunds right. This is why we can’t do it.”

Customer: “No refund?”

Me: “No refund, sorry.”

Customer: “Well, then I’m NEVER coming back to this place ever again!”

Me: “Okay.”

(The woman looked at me in disbelief for a few seconds before she briskly walked away, murmuring something to herself.)

The Son Of Mondegreen

, | USA | Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

(I am looking for new albums in a music store when I overhear a conversation.)

Customer #1: *singing ‘The Monster,’ a song of Eminem ft. Rihanna* “I’m friends with the monster, the son of my bed.”

Customer #2: “Your lyrics are wrong. It’s ‘that’s under my bed.'”

Customer #1: “Seriously, how can a monster fit under a bed?”

Customer #2: “‘The monster under the bed’ is an expression used by children and the song uses this expression to depict the artist’s struggles in overcoming his demons. And besides, how can a monster be a son of a bed?”

Bus Fuss

| Wales, UK | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I work in a train station ticket office which has two main entrances: one directly from the platform and one from the street. There is no pavement outside the street entrance and the door opens straight onto the bus stop. The pavement is a good 20 feet away in any given direction.)

Customer: *walks in through street entrance* “Hiya. Where’s the bus stop?”

Me: “You actually walked over it. It’s just outside the doors there.”

Customer: *heads for platform doors*

Me: “Sir, stop! I meant the street doors. You know, the ones you entered through?”

(The customer stops, pauses, looks at me, looks at street doors, looks at platform doors, starts again towards platform doors.)

Me: “Sir, NOT THOSE DOORS! You need to turn around and walk back out the way you came in.”

Customer: “The way I came in?” *turns to face the street entrance*

Me: *encouragingly* “Yes, sir. Those doors right ahead!”

(The customer does another 180° and starts off AGAIN for the platform.)

Me: “Sir, please wait right there. I’ll lock up my booth and come show you.”

Customer: “Sorry, thanks. It’s not very obvious.”

(I quickly lock up my booth and come around to help the customer. I lead him physically by the arm outside. I only stop him when his feet are on the ‘B’ of ‘BUS STOP’ which is painted in four-foot-high letters on the floor).

Me: “There you go, sir. Now, can you read the floor by your feet?”

Customer: *looks* “Bus stop?”

Me: Yep. So all you gotta do is wait here until one shows up!”

Customer: *incredulously* “Do the buses come to here?”

Me: “They do at that, sir.”

Customer: *looks painfully unsure* “So this is the bus stop?”

Me: “Yes indeed, sir. It is.” *checks timetable* “The next bus is to [Town] at 13:54, about two minutes from now.”

(I ended up waiting at the bus stop with him until the bus came. He was a repeat visitor for about a month, during which time I learned that his car was broken and he was using trains and buses in the interim, and that in all his 32 years he’d never once used a public bus! He worked as a teaching assistant in a nearby primary school – I fear for our nation’s children!)

Making The Feathers Fly

| MN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I am a chef. The server is fairly new. This is one of her first solo shifts. This couple comes in at the very end of lunch. They are the only customers in the building.)

Male Customer: “Are the chickens fresh?”

Server: “Yup. We pull the feathers in the back.”

Male Customer: “Okay. I’ll take the chicken sandwich and some feathers.”

Female Customer: “I’ll have the cheeseburger.”

(The server enters their order in the computer. She then grabs their drinks and drops them off at the table.)

Male Customer: “Where are the feathers?”

Server: “I just rang them in.” *laughs*

(I cook the food and call out for the server. She picks up the order and brings it out to the table.)

Male Customer: “Where are my f****** feathers? If you don’t bring me my f****** feathers I am going to punch you in the face.”

Server: “I’ll be right back.”

(She goes and gets the manager who goes up to the table.)

Manager: “Is there a problem?”

Male Customer: “I want my feathers. She said you had chicken feathers. She said you had them. If she doesn’t bring them out I am going to punch her.”

Manager: “You need to leave. Now.”

(As strange as this whole situation was, looking back on it now the thing I found the weirdest wasn’t the chicken feather guy. It was his girlfriend that didn’t say a thing through the entire ‘WTF’ conversation the guy had with the server and the manager.)

Left Their Brain In Their Other Lifestyle

| Brea, CA, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like to order a replacement statement.”

Me: “Okay, sure thing. First to access your account, I’ll ask a couple of verification questions.”

Customer: “Okay!”

Me: “May I have your address please?”

Customer: “Address? What you mean like, where I live?”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Customer: *gives address*

(After verifying my customer I then proceed to his request.)

Me: “Okay, sir. I have your statements ready to be sent. Would you like it sent to the address on file or an alternate?”

Customer: “I don’t live an alternative lifestyle.  I  just want my statements.”

Page 1,014/3,038First...1,0121,0131,0141,0151,016...Last