Driving A Hard Bargain

| Chennai, India | Hotels & Lodging, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

(I am standing in line at the travel desk of a very nice hotel in Chennai. Just ahead of me is a guest with an accent from somewhere in Britain, but I cannot place it. He is being very abusive toward the young man at the desk.)

Guest: “I’m not paying your rates for a car. I’m going to hire an auto outside the hotel. You people are thieves”

Desk Clerk: “Certainly, sir, but how may I help you?”

Guest: “Write this address down. Write it down in Hindi. I’ll hand it to a driver. I’m not paying you.”

Desk Clerk: “Yes, sir.”

(I watch him write down the address from English to Hindi.)

Me: “I must compliment you. He was very rude and you handled it well.”

Desk Clerk: “Just doing my job, sir. Thank you.”

Me: “You did just what he asked…”

Desk Clerk: *looks up smiling slightly*

Me:“You wrote it down in Hindi. The local language is Tamil… and what are his chances of finding a literate ‘auto’ driver out there, anyway?”

Desk Clerk: *smiling broadly* “You have been here before, sir!”

A Cancer Of Society

| Knoxville, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(Our store is selling stuffed toys to give to children undergoing cancer treatment. I’m on register checking out a couple.)

Me: “Would you like to purchase one of the toys and donate it to a child?”

(The customer reaches for one of the toys and I think I’ve made a sale. But then she puts the toy back on the counter and says:)

Customer: “My hunch is that kids who have cancer get enough of these.”

Rage Against The Machine, Part 3

| USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I have finished ringing up a customer’s purchase when he is paying with a debit card at the card reader. My computer tells me the customer clicked the ‘cancel’ button on the machine.)

Me: “Sir, please re-slide your card and press the green button for credit.”

Customer: *to his wife* “They should make these things all work the same way.”

Customer’s Wife: “Honey, it says right there to press the green button for credit.”

Customer: “I shouldn’t be expected to read that.”

Related:
Rage Against The Machine, Part 2
Rage Against The Machine

Her Bargaining Power Has Gone To The Dogs

| WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Pets & Animals

(I work at a pet store that sells puppies. A very angry customer comes in to buy a Boston terrier.)

Customer: “This place is filthy! You only have sick dogs!”

Me: “We are very proud of our sanitation standards as well as the fact that we have not had an outbreak of a major illness in over five years.”

Customer: “Hmph! Well, then I’m going to have to have some cosmetic surgery done on the dog because I don’t like this feature the dog has.”

Me: “Uh, well, these are natural features, and pose no health risk.

Customer: “I still demand the price of the puppy dropped down.

Me: “Our prices are already very fair. Especially when everything comes with the puppy, even the microchip and the vaccinations.”

Customer: “I demand to see the manager!”

(The manager comes over and the situation is explained. Eventually, the customer makes an ultimatum.)

Customer: “I will be out the door with the puppy for $800 or with nothing!”

(It is then we all realize that the customer has not actually established what the price of the puppy actually is, which is just $600. For all her yelling and harassment of the staff, she was very nice after the manager changed the price to $800.)

The Return Of The Ninja

| NH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Wild & Unruly

(I have a 14-hour shift because a friend of mine is out sick as she is having surgery. It’s about eight hours into the day, and a customer comes in, with something in a paper bag and a giant scowl on her face.)

Me: “Hello, Ma’am. How may I help you today?”

Guest: “Yes. I’d like to return this, please? Here’s my receipt, and I want the full amount back.”

Me: “Yes, Ma’am. I’ll do what I can.”

(I go to scan the receipt, and it’s declined, because she’s had the items for more than 90 days. We aren’t allowed to return things over that limit without a supervisor’s approval.)

Me: “I’m very sorry ma’am, but my system is showing me that I can’t return these, due to the fact you purchased them more than 90 days ago.”

Guest: “That’s f****** stupid! I demand to speak with your supervisor! I work in retail, and we return everything the guest gives us!”

(I look over, and see my supervisor is busy dealing with another customer.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. If you’d just wait right over here for a moment, I’m sure he’ll be with you very shortly.”

Guest: “No! I’ll not be treated this way!”

(She takes out her purse, and slams her bag down on the guest services counter, throwing her store card and three gift cards at my face. I catch one, and dodge the others.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to leave, please. We do not allow that kind of behavior here. I’m very sorry for any inconvenience.”

Guest: “You know what? You’re simply a stupid little s*** with no chance at ever being successful, or pretty!” *storms out*

Customer In Line Behind Her: “Well, I never! Miss, you are beautiful, very kind, and I’m in awe of your ninja skills!”

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. I appreciate it!”

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