Should Have Tried To Squirrel Away

| Austin, TX, USA | Right | November 8, 2015

(After clocking off from work and grabbing a basket to do some quick shopping for dinner, I am stopped no more than 10 seconds into my shopping by an elderly customer looking for items. I am off the clock, but am always willing to answer questions while still in uniform, especially now that our location is undergoing renovation and a lot of customers get frustrated with the item relocation.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss, but where are the peanuts for squirrels, and the wild bird seed?”

Me: “Well, we moved the bird seed to [Aisle #] but I’m afraid we don’t carry peanuts for squirrels. We have corn cobs and…”

Customer: *cuts me off with a disbelieving tone* “Yes, YOU DO. I used to buy it all the time. It was over by the bananas, but now they’re not there anymore!”

Me: *thinking maybe I had missed something* “You said peanuts for squirrels?”

Customer: “Yes, they were raw, unsalted peanuts and they came in a clear package by the bananas. They’re not made for squirrels, but that’s what I feed them.”

(At this point it dawned on me she was talking about one of the many kinds of specially packaged nuts we kept in the produce section. I was wondering why she had phrased the request the way she did when a well-meaning coworker who had overheard the exchange (and knew I was off the clock), came by and offered to show her where the peanuts were moved to. That was probably the funniest exchange I’d had all day.)

| Right | November 8, 2015

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Wad A B****

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Right | November 8, 2015

(I’m 16 and I’ve been working at a dollar store for a little over a month. A customer in her 60s comes in and tells me she is buying eight bottles of iced tea and four bottles of lemonade. She keeps them in her cart as she is checking out.)

Me: “Ma’am, would you please put the bottles on the counter? I need to count and ring them up.”

Customer: *gives me an exasperated look* “But I just told you that I’m buying eight iced teas and four lemonades!”

Me: “Well, I still have to count and scan them.”

Customer: *glaring at me as she puts the bottles on the counter, one at a time* “You think we’re all thieves!”

Me: “No, I don’t, ma’am; I just need to count the bottles. It’s store policy.”

Customer: *patronizing* “Well, I’ve been counting long before you were born, honey.”

(I ring up the bottles and there are in fact eight bottles of iced tea and four of lemonade. She glares at me again.)

Me: “Yes, you are right. There are eight iced teas and four lemonades. So that’s $10.45.”

(After she pays, she gives me another stare-down. I give her the receipt.)

Customer: “Well, since you wasted my time, I’m going to take my time putting all these bottles back in my cart.” *she then proceeds to slowly put each bottle back in her cart, one at a time, causing the line behind her to grow*

(After she left, the customer that is behind her, a young guy in his early 20s, comes up to the counter.)

Customer #2: “Some people really have their panties in a wad, don’t they?”

Me: “Very true. I should’ve told her that we have some wad-less ones in aisle three…”

Stop And Stair, Part 2

| USA | Right | November 7, 2015

(It’s around two am. A group of customers, in their mid 20s, a blonde woman, a brunette woman, and two guys, enter. They are all being rowdy and clearly very drunk.)

Me: “Guys, please keep it down. Some people on the first floor are trying to sleep.”

(Clearly annoyed that I rained on their parade, they scowl and press the button for the elevator. After a few minutes…)

Blonde Woman: “Hello?! Where’s the f****** elevator?”

Brunette Woman: “It sure is taking a loooong time.”

Blonde Woman: “Yeah, I might as well take the f****** stairs. Where’s the f***** stairs?!”

Me: “They’re right over there.” *points*

(The blonde woman stares at me like I just told her to run around outside naked, and just then the elevator doors swing open,)

Brunette Woman: “Come on, the elevator is finally here.”

(As they’re getting into the elevator, I hear the blonde woman say this in an insulted tone.)

Blonde Woman: “The clerk ACTUALLY told me where the stairs are! Can you believe it!?”

Doesn’t Have A Good Frame On Pricing

| MD, USA | Right | November 7, 2015

(I work in the framing department of a big name arts and crafts store. I’ve just finished an order for a female customer that comes out to about $170 total. (We have a good sale on; her original total was about $450). She realizes her husband has her wallet and groans a bit.)

Customer: “Shoot. My husband will never go for this. I knew I should have taken my wallet with me.”

(She calls her husband and he comes over.)

Customer’s Husband: “Wow, that looks good!” *he sees the total* “It’s going to be how much?! Are you kidding me?”

Customer: “Honey, it’s for [Son]’s college graduation. We were going to give him that much on a gift card anyway.”

(They argue for a while, while I stand there feeling horribly awkward.)

Customer’s Husband: “No, that’s ridiculous. I bet I could get this guy I know to do it for $50. I work on his boats; he’ll do it for me.”

(Note that $50 isn’t even enough to cover the discounted glass, let alone frame and assembly.)

Customer: “Fine. Talk to your guy.”

(As he stomps off the wife turns back to me.)

Customer: “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

(I worked the next night, and yes, she did come back.)

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