Doesn’t Understand The ‘Customer’ Part Of Customer Service

| UK | Right | December 5, 2015

Me: “Hello, [Store]. This is [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, so I purchased a print of [artwork] from your website and the quality isn’t very good because of the size. I want to return it.”

Me: “I’m sorry you’re not happy with your print. As you may have noticed when you made your purchase, although we offer prints on our website they are all custom orders made and shipped by [Different Company]. We simply supply the copyright for the image. You will need to contact the returns department for [Different Company].”

Caller: “Yeah, I know they’re made by [Different Company]. I’ve called them just about every day this week to make the return. The woman in the call centre said she’s waiting to hear back from the head of the department, and they still haven’t gotten back to me yet!”

Me: “I’m very sorry to hear about that, sir. Hopefully they will get back to you soon. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Caller: “Um, yeah! This return! I want to return it; it’s no good.”

Me: “Sir, as we just discussed, [Bookstore] does not make the prints; [Different Company] does. They will process your return.”

Caller: “But it’s on your website!”

Me: “Yes, but we contract [Different Company] to fulfill the custom orders. We at [Bookstore] cannot refund something that we do not make, stock, or ship.”

Caller: *nearly screaming* “But [Different Company]’s customer service is terrible! What are you going to do about it?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I have no control over the customer service of another company.”

Caller: *now yelling* “You should care about how other companies treat your customers! YOU promoted [Different Company]. YOU should make them have better customer service! Now I want my return!”

Me: *finally fed up* “Sir, I don’t know how else I can explain this. [Bookstore] does not make the prints. [Different Company] does. They shipped your order to you, not us, and you must return it back to them. We have over 1200 products in our store from hundreds of different companies, and if you purchased any of them IN OUR STORE, and not a customer order from a third party, you could return them here. But you cannot return something that we have never had!”

Caller: “You should still care more about how other companies treat your customers!” *hangs up*

Finally Sir(mised) The Situation

| Asheville, NC, USA | Right | December 5, 2015

(I am a rather petite woman with a micro pixie; my hair is no longer than an inch. I am holding the doors open for returning guests to our hotel. The uniform I’m wearing is unisex cut, but it is still rather obvious that I’m female. Rounding out the group of guests is an elderly couple with walkers and a somewhat younger-than-them woman making sure they get along all right, probably a daughter. The elderly couple are obviously more focused on walking than me.)

Elderly Gentleman: “Thank you, sir.”

(Neither surprised nor offended, I just giggle and welcome him through the door. The somewhat younger woman behind him STARES at me until she’s passing through the door. It’s actually getting rather creepy and I’m not feeling more uncomfortable than amused.)

Woman: “You know, if you grew it out we’d know the difference.”

Oh Great, Can’t Wait…

| Right | December 4, 2015

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Grandson Grandstanding

| Germany | Right | December 4, 2015

Caller: “I am ringing on behalf of my grandparents about their booking.”

Me: “Can you give me a booking number, an arrival date, or the name of the guests?”

Caller: “I am the grandson.”

Me: “And what is your grandparents’ name?”

Caller: *aggressive and very loud* “I AM THE GRANDSON OF MY GRANDPARENTS!”

Me: “I am also the grandson of my grandparents, but could you please give me a little bit more information about the booking?”

Caller: *extremely aggressive, shouting really loud* “THE TRIP HAS BEEN PAID FOR AND YOU SHOULD ADAPT TO US!”

Me: “Could you please calm down a bit? I have no idea what this is about.”

Caller: *shouting completely incomprehensibly* “WAWAWAWA!”

Me: “Sir, I have guests standing at reception waiting to check in. I suggest you ring back after you have calmed down.” *click*

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Parental Control Versus Gun Control

| USA | Right | December 4, 2015

(I work in the corporate office for one of the largest firearms manufacturers in the US. I overhear this from one of our service technicians, and to this day I really wish I had heard the customer’s end of this call:)

Tech: “Sir, you need to put your mother on the phone, please.”

Tech: “I know you’re frustrated, but this gun is registered to your mother, and we can’t work on it unless we talk to her.”

Tech: “Are you even old enough to own a firearm, sir?”

(Pause.)

Tech: “Please stop crying, sir…”

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