Irredeemable Ignorance

| VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

Customer #1: “Where are you from?”

Me: “Chile.”

Customer #1:  “Oh, really? I love your statue!” *spreads his arms cross-like*

Me: *smiling*

Customer #2: “That’s in Rio.”

Customer #1: “Well, close enough.”

Wish You Could Just Hide In A Wardrobe

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule

(I’m a hostess at a restaurant. I am getting a customer’s information for a reservation later that night.)

Me: “Can I get your last name?”

Customer: “Aslan.”

Me: “Oh! Like the lion from Narnia!”

Customer: “Yes!” *laughs hysterically”

(Later that night the customer comes for her reservation. I have already left for the day and there is a new hostess on for night shift.)

Customer: *approaches host stand and ROARS at the hostess*

Hostess: “Uhm… excuse me?”

Customer: “Like the lion!?”

Hostess: “… Right.”

Electing Key Information

, | Tempe, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Politics

(I’m volunteering to make phone calls on Election Day for a political campaign.)

Me: “Hello. This is [My Name) with [Campaign]. I’m calling to make sure—”

Voter: “Why the h*** do you call people like this?! I’m sick of it.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, sir. I just want to—”

Voter: “Seriously, don’t you think people are smart enough to do their own research? Everyone knows there is an election going on! There is no reason to bother people like this!”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry to bother you, sir. I just wanted to make sure you had a chance to vote today.”

Voter: “Wait… the election is today?! Thank you!”

From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 6

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Language & Words, Top

(I work at a hockey stadium ticket booth. A customer is using the ‘F’ word a ridiculous amount of times. Everyone is getting tired of this guy, but none faster than the six-year-old girl behind him in line.)

Little Girl:  “My Mom says if ya can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all!”

Crowd: *various sounds of agreement and thanks that she said what they felt they couldn’t*

Customer: “Well your mom must be a [10-second string of words and phrases that should NEVER be spoken to a child, EVER].”

Little Girl:  *crinkles her face up* “If you followed that rule you’d never talk again!”

(The crowd laughs loudly at the remark, and the foul-mouthed customer and his friend are shamed out of line. I comped half her father’s order.)

From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 5
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 4
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 3
From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 2
From The Mouth Of Babes

Super Friends

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

(A group of friends of mine stop by the store where I work. As a joke all of them come to my lane to ‘make me earn my pay’ for the night. A customer with her son tries cutting them all and jumps in the front.)

Customer: “Hurry up! I’m a very important person! I have things to do.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ll be glad to check you out before each of these gentlemen that you cut if you ask each of them what they do and honestly think that what you do is more important.”

Customer: “FINE!” *turns to Friend #1* “And what do you do?”

Friend #1: “I train soldiers at [local military base] who are willing to fight for your freedom.”

Customer: “… Oh.” *turns to Friend #2* “What about you?”

Friend #2: “I’m a firefighter.”

Customer: “… Um.” *skips Friend #3 and #4 and goes to #5* “And you?”

Friend #5: “I do cancer research.”

(The customer gives up. I proceed to checkout everyone accordingly and the customer pays and bolts out the door.)

Me: “Have I ever told you guys how proud I am to actually know you guys? Wonder why she didn’t ask [Friend #3] and [Friend #4]?”

Friend #3: “Well… she’s a waitress where I eat lunch while I’m on patrol… so she knows I’m a cop!”

Friend #4: “I… I can’t actually say!”

Friend #5: “Fine! I will! Her son came up to [Friend #4] and asked how working at [medical practice where Friend #4 is shadowing] is going. She sees him at her kid’s pediatrician!”

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