Single Minded Demands

| USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Hotels & Lodging, Wild & Unruly

(Sometimes our sales manager gives some of her friends a certificate for a free night’s stay at our hotel. I am checking in such a stay.)

Customer: “Hello, checking in? The name’s [Customer].”

Me: “Right, Mrs. [Customer]. I see that this is a free night’s stay? May I see the certificate?”

Customer: “Right here.” *hands it over*

Me: “Okay, I see that’s in order. Here are your keys and sign here.”

(She signs and leaves, waving goodbye. A few minutes later, she comes back with a teen girl in tow.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but I’m supposed to have a room with two beds in it. This is a room with only one bed!”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry; let me check the reservation again.” *checks* “Ma’am, the reservation says that a single bed was booked, not two. Furthermore, I’m afraid we don’t have any more two-bed rooms.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! I know the owner, you know. You’re just trying to trick me, because I’m a free stay and I’m not paying!”

Me: “I don’t see why… uh… anyone would do that.”

(At this point, I start to get nervous, because our sales manager is married to the owner, so it is possible she’s telling the truth. Fortunately, the teen speaks up.)

Teen: “Mom! Didn’t you say that you were going alone until I agreed to come with you at the last minute? Doesn’t it make sense then that you would book only a single bed for yourself?”

Customer: “I… I… It must’ve slipped my mind.”

(Caught, red-faced, she slinked off with her daughter. A few minutes later, I got a call from her room asking meekly for a cot. I got her one, and reported the incident to the managers. Soon, she is their friend no more, and I never saw her again!)

Don’t Kick A Pink Gift Horse In The Mouth

| UK | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Family & Kids

(It’s nearly closing time, when a mother comes in with her son, who looks to be about two or three.)

Boy: “I want a dolly! Look mummy!” *takes doll off shelf*

Mother: “No, that’s for girls. Let’s go look at the Lego.”

Boy: *points at box of pink Lego* “This one, mummy! Please!”

Mother: “You can’t have pink, that’s a girl’s colour.”

Boy: “I get horsey?” *points at pink toy horse*

Me: “I love horseys. That seems like a great idea. It’s always lovely to see a handsome young man like you who likes pink horseys. Is that okay with you, Ma’am?”

Mother: “You’re trying to turn my son gay!”

Me: “I can assure you that I am not attempting anything like that.”

(I walk away to allow the mother to pick out a ‘suitable’ toy for her son. They walk up to the cash desk with a toy car set, but the boy is crying.)

Me: “That’ll be £23, please.”

Boy: “Want horsey!”

Me: “Since you’re such a cutie, how about a free horsey?”

(I took a cheap pink horse from a shelf and handed it to him.)

Understaffed But Over-Spoken

, | Seattle, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(Working late at night the store is understaffed. There is a manager and I running the entire store. We are trying to keep up with drive through demand, but the wait time is slipping from two minutes to about five minutes.)

Me: “Welcome to [Store]. How may I take your order?”

Customer: “I’d like [hamburger meal] and a large drink.”

Me: “Thank you. Please pull up to the second window.”

(The customer waits in line for a few minutes until I can handle the customer before him and prepare his food. He drives up in an expensive sports car.)

Me: “Sorry for the wait, sir. Here is your—”

Customer: “You know I’ve been to your stores all over the country, and yours in the only one that always takes such a d*** long time to get anything done!”

Me: *embarrassed/angry*  “I’m sorry for the long wait, sir, but we are understaffed. There is just the two of us here handling all the orders. But if you are interested in helping get things sped up, we are hiring right now and I can get you an application.”

(The customer made a face, took his food, and sped off.)

Making Them Sleep With The Fishes

| AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

Me: *answering phone* “Hi. Welcome to [Pet Store], where pets are family. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “Hello, I’m looking to return a fish that I bought yesterday. He is dead now.”

(She seems a little slow, and mumbles at the same time, so I just assume that she is embarrassed by the fact that the fish died so quickly.)

Me: “Of course we can. Just as long as you bring in the receipt, and the body of the fish, we can exchange it. No problem.”

Caller: “Oh. Okay. That’s good.”

Me: “Was that everything today?”

Caller: “I was wondering if it was my fault.”

Me: “Sorry? Do you mean if it was your fault if the fish died? I am sure that it wasn’t your fault. These things happen.”

Caller: “Well, was it my fault when I hit him on the head with a spoon?”

Me: “Excuse me? Why would you do that?”

Caller: “Well, he wasn’t going to sleep so I hit him on a head with a spoon. So he would sleep.”

Me: “That’s… not how it works.”

Caller: “Oh. Well. I’ll come for my other fish now.” *click*

Didn’t Have The Backbone To Say It

| Sweden | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Hotels & Lodging, Language & Words

(I work in the front desk at a hotel. I have a small handicap which makes my back look a little wavy, but it’s no obstacle in normal life. We have more reservations than we have rooms. There are several concerts in the city, and all hotels located within 10 miles from the city are fully booked. When this happens, the hotel is responsible to find rooms in the same or better category on other hotels. I have managed to book the last available room at our neighbor hotel. It’s starting to get very late, and I have only one check-in left, a couple from Italy. At 10:30 pm they arrive.)

Me: “Welcome to [Hotel]. Did you have a pleasant flight?”

(The couple looks angry towards me before the wife answers.)

Wife: *in very bad English* “I want my room now, and my luggage should be carried up!”

Me: “I am very sorry to say that we are fully booked today, but I have some very good news for you. I have managed to find a room for you on the hotel right across the street!”

(The couple looks at each other and they both start yelling at me in Italian. I am Scandinavian, so I only know English and Swedish, but I can sense that the words are not well meant and nice words.)

Me: “I’m so sorry.  I don’t speak Italian, but I will gladly help you to move the luggage to the neighbor hotel.”

(The couple don’t give a d*** about what I’m trying to tell them. So, I just smile and pretend like everything is normal. My shift ends at 11 pm and the guests have now been standing in the front desk for almost ten minutes with constant yelling and screaming. Suddenly I feel a hand touching my shoulder from behind. It’s the night shift clerk who has arrived, and he wants to tell me something in the back office.)

Night Shift Clerk: “Do you know what they are telling you?”

Me: “No, but I have a strange feeling that it is not kind words.”

Night Shift Clerk: “Let me take care of this.”

(He enters the front desk.)

Night Shift Clerk: “I’m very sorry about my colleague. He has done everything in his power to help you. Let me make one thing clear…”

(The Italian couple stops screaming for a second, and looks at my colleague.)

Night Shift Clerk: *in fluent Italian* “I forgot to mention that I speak fluent Italian. I have been in the back office the entire time, and I’ve been listening to every word you said to my colleague. It may be true that the customer is always right, but when you call someone a crooked dwarf, just because they look different, you don’t deserve any kind of good treatment. Earlier my colleague tried to tell you that we had managed to book the biggest suite at the neighbor hotel for a total cost of $5000, and you would have gotten it for free. At our hotel you have booked a standard room for $100. So, I’m very happy to say that you are going to sleep in the streets tonight. I just called the other hotel and cancelled the room. You have two minutes to get out of here before I call the police. You won’t be able to find room anywhere tonight. All the hotels are fully booked. Have a nice life!”

(The couple stood quietly, in shock, and looked at my colleague with embarrassment. I later came out and escorted them to the streets. Later I heard that they tried to contact the hotel manager, but he only confirmed what we said and told them to get off our property!)

Page 1,008/3,048First...1,0061,0071,0081,0091,010...Last