A Block Of Highland(er) Cheese

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Food & Drink, One-Liners

(I’m on the register late at night when a coworker I vaguely know from another department comes through with his shopping. I scan his items and all is well until I try to scan a block of cut cheese from our deli. The register brings up a warning that it can’t be sold because it is past its use-by date.)

Me: “Sorry; it’s out of date.”

Coworker: “I don’t care.” *he holds his hand out*

(I know that its just going to be thrown out if I waste it and so does he. He is the store butcher, so I look around to check no one is around and just hand him the cheese. I feel I have to be sure though.)

Me: “You’re sure?”

Coworker: “Yep.” *he hides his cheese* “Cheese is always good. Cheese is just milk’s attempt at being immortal.”

She’s Not Stupid, She Just Acts Like It

| NH, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(I am a manager and have been called up to the register by my cashier because a customer is disagreeing with a price on a cat bed. They have pre-printed prices and have just gone up in price. We have missed tearing one of the old price tags off. The beds are also on sale for $3.00 off with a rewards card.)

Customer: “This bed of a different color said it was $14.99 but it’s ringing up as $19.99.”

Me: “Of course! The price of these actually just changed. We must have missed that other one while taking the tags off. I can change that for you.”

(I go to the screen and point the numbers out to the woman as I speak.)

Me: “Okay! So, the bed is also on sale today for $3.00 off. So what I’m going to do is push the computer to change the price to $17.99 and then it will automatically take off that additional $3.00 for me, bringing the price down to that $14.99 for you today!”

Customer: “Okay, so the bed is on sale, after being $14.99? So shouldn’t the price be lower?”

Me: “The sale is for $3.00 of off the $19.99 price. So if I price match that lower price for you, it’s the lower price of the two options.”

Customer: “But the other bed said $14.99 and it’s on sale! I’ll show you!”

(At this point I try to interject as I believe her 100% and have no problem changing the price for her. She insists though and I wait patiently for her to bring the bed back to me. Meanwhile, her husband is laughing and apologizing for her. Note, she had no idea the bed was on sale previously.)

Customer: *holding the other bed out to me* “See! This says $14.99 right on the tag.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, and that’s what you’re paying for the bed today.”

Customer: “But it was on sale!”

Me: *getting agitated* “Yes, ma’am, it is, off the price of the bed now. But since we forgot to remove that price tag I’m giving it to you for $14.99 instead of $16.99.”

Customer: “Okay, but if I came into the store right now and went to go get a bed, how much would I pay for it?”

Me: *exasperated* “$16.99!”

Customer: “Listen, I’m not stupid! I’m a smart person; I’m just trying to get you to understand. I need to understand. Why am I paying that much for the bed?”

Me: *literally throwing my arms in the air* “Ma’am, how much would you like to pay for the bed today!?”

Customer: “It’s not that! It’s the principle of it!”

Me: “No, Ma’am. I am not going to stand here all day and argue with you. Please, tell me how much you think you should pay for the bed and I will change it for you.”

Customer: “No, just forget it! I’m not stupid; you’re missing the point.”

Me: *sighs* “All right, Ma’am. Well, you have a great day.”

(I walked away, finding several associates in the nearby aisles, that had been listening and laughing. Apparently, after checking out, she tried to explain to my cashier how I was wrong, expressing again how she wasn’t stupid!)

Avoiding A Hair-Raising Situation

| Wisconsin Dells, WI, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink

(Our mom takes us through the drive through of a fast food joint known for frozen custard. We all have one, and as we are driving away and eating, three of us discovered long hairs in our custard. We go back through the drive through and my mother tells them what happened. The poor teen on the mic sounds so nervous when my mom calmly explains the situation. They give us free replacements. We get to the window and instead of the kid, it’s the manager.)

Manager: *hands my mom the tray of three custards as well as a handful of tokens for a free scoop of custard*

Mom: “What is this for?”

Manager: “Ma’am, so many customers in your situation would have screamed at my poor employees and terrified them. The other day, a customer came up to the counter and screamed at and verbally abused the fifteen-year-old girl at the register because he found a very small piece of onion on his burger when he had asked for none because he doesn’t like the smell of them. And other people would try to sue us for that. So I am giving these to you as a thank you.”

Mom: “Oh, wow. You’re welcome, I guess.”

(Our custard was delicious and hair free, though it melted rather quickly once we got to the park as it was the summer. Good thing we had dishes and not cones!)