Unable To Channel The Caller

| Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work tech support for the Internet part of a company that also provides cable TV and cell phones, so sometimes we get calls meant for other departments. When that happens, we just transfer them over. One day I get a call from an older, heavily-accented caller.)

Me: “Thanks for choosing [Company] Internet tech support. What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “My weather network, and the news, and, uh… it no work!”

Me: “Your Internet isn’t working?”

Customer: “No! Not Internet. TV! My weather channel isn’t working! And the news channel!”

Me: “Oh, your cable TV isn’t working!”

Customer: “”Right!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that! Well, you’ve reached Internet tech support, so let me get you right over to cable TV repair, and they’ll be able to look into that for you. Before I get you to them, do you have any Internet questions for me while you have me here?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “My weather channel isn’t working!”

Me: “Okay, well, then, let me get you right over to cable TV repair then. This will just put you back into hold while I get you to them. There may be just a brief wait–”

Customer: “Wait!”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “My news channel isn’t working!”

Me: “Well, that’s still on your TV, so let’s get you right over to the right department–”

Customer: “Wait!”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “My weather channel isn’t working either!”

Me: “Okay, well-let-me-get-you-right-over-to-the-right-guys-they’ll-be-with-you-in-just-a-sec-bye!” *hits transfer button*

Time Zone Phone Home

| Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

(The customer places an online order and wants to change some items, but it isn’t showing up yet. I tell the customer to call back in an hour to be able to check it.)

Customer: “So on what time are you located?”

Me: “Eastern time.”

Customer: “So, at what time I have to call back?”

Me: “In an hour.”

Customer: “So what time over here would that be?”

Me: “…”

Weirdness In The Blood

| Sarasota, FL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(We have a patient known for saying random, off the wall things. I had just scheduled a follow up appointment for him.)

Me: “Okay, sir, the doctor would like you to have some bloodwork done two weeks prior to your next appointment.”

(I hand him the lab slip and the patient stares blankly at me for a moment.)

Patient: “What do they do with the leftover blood?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Patient: “What do they do with the blood that they don’t use?”

Me: “Um, I believe it’s discarded as they have no use for it…”

Patient: “Do you think they would give it to me?”

Me: “You want the leftover blood sample?”

Patient: “Yes. It’s MY blood.”

Me: “What would you do with it?”

Patient: “I don’t know, but I want it!”

Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”