5 Stories Of Hilarious Lawlessness

Not Always Right | Roundups

Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories Of Hilarious Lawlessness These customers learn the hard way that crime doesn’t pay!

  1. In Real Hot Sauce Now (10,687 thumbs up)
  2. Dovahkiin’s Day Off (4,249 thumbs up)
  3. Honesty Is Not Always The Best Policy (4,219 thumbs up)
  4. When Two Wrongs Make It Right (6,702 thumbs up)
  5. Needs To Press Paws (5,955 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Suffering A Bipolar Vortex

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Canada, Wild & Unruly

(I am from California but am visiting some family in Toronto. It’s late December and extremely cold. I’m at a liquor store with my cousin when the customer behind me notices my California ID.)

Customer: “You’re a long way from home! What brings you out here?”

Me: “I’m visiting some family.”

Customer: “What do you think about the weather?”

Me: “It’s actually quite refreshing. It’s nice having a change of scenery but I don’t think I could do this all the time.”

Customer: *huffy* “Well, it’s not like this all the time! It’s only cold for about five months! How dare you assume that, you ignorant American!”

Me: “No, no, no. Of course I know it’s not cold year round. I meant that I personally couldn’t deal with the winter months every year!”

Customer: “You lying b****! You’re just trying to cover your a**! You stupid Americans think we just live in igloos. I know your type!”

Me: “I promise you I don’t think that it’s this cold year round. I’ve come to visit many times in the summer.”

Customer: “Stupid American b****!”

(My cousin and I just walk away while she continues to hurl insults at me.)

My Unfair Lady

| Pasadena, MD, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Rude & Risque

(I work in an adult-themed shop. A female customer has just walked up to make a purchase.)

Me: “Hello. How are you today?”

Customer: *grumbles*

Me: “Okay… Did you find everything?”

Customer: *grumbles*

(I take this as my hint to stop trying to be helpful and just get this over with as soon as possible.)

Me: “All right. Your total is [price].”

Customer: *handing me money* “You really should be ashamed of yourself, you know.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You must not be a proper lady, working in a place like this. Shameful!”

Me: “You mean me working here, trying to make a living and keep my bills down, is shameful compared to you walking in my store to buy smut and hooker clothes, then acting very rude towards me?”

(The customer turns bright red, pays, and leaves.)

Giving Her A Good Dressing Down

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I am a 17-year-old high school student in the supermarket after school. I am in my uniform buying some study snacks to take home. I’m wandering down the chips and confectionary aisle, when another customer approaches me.)

Customer #1: “Why is your dress so short?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

(My dress is about two inches above my knee, and I’m 5’7″ tall.)

Customer #1: “Girls should be wearing longer dresses!”

(The customer then lunges for my dress, attempting to pull it down. Another customer sees and then intervenes.)

Customer #2: “Geez, leave her alone.”

(The first customer begins walking off but not before leaving me with this little gem:)

Customer #1: “She’ll be pregnant before the year is out unless she gets a longer dress.”

Related:
Giving Him A Good Dressing Down

Going To Great Pains

| NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

(I work as a nurse for outpatient procedures. A patient has come in for a not-very-painful procedure, and has already received all of the drugs that we can safely give her for pain. This amount would have had a normal person sleeping by now.)

Patient: *screaming like she’s being tortured*

Me: “Oh, sweetheart, I know this is hard.”

(I put my hand in hers.)

Me: “Here. Try and breathe, and squeeze my hand.”

(She throws my hand away from her.)

Patient: “I don’t want your f****** hand. I WANT MY GODD*** DRUGS!”

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