H2-Slow, Part 7

| MA, USA | Extra Stupid

(I work at a well known children’s clothing store. It is Christmas Eve. A woman picks up a rain jacket and walks up to ask me a question.)

Customer: “Is this water resistant?”

Me: “It’s a raincoat.”

Customer: “Yes, but is it water resistant?”

Me: “Well, it’s a raincoat so it’s kind of meant to be worn when there’s water.”

Customer: “Oh, I see; it’s a raincoat… So, is it water resistant?”

Related:
H2Slow, Part 6
H2Slow, Part 5
H2Slow, Part 4

Didn’t Make New Calendar Year Resolution

| USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I am the manager for a seasonal kiosk at my city’s mall. I’ve been out sick for the last couple of days with a plethora of very unpleasant infections, and though I am no longer contagious, thanks to my medication, I am still in a lot of pain. It’s the day before Christmas Eve when I get a phone call from one of my employees.)

Employee: “We’ve got a gentleman who isn’t happy with our return policy and wants to talk to a manager.”

Me: “Okay, put him on the phone.”

Employee: “Sir, if you would like to talk to my boss, she’s—”

Customer: *in the background* “I want to talk to her in person.”

Employee: “Sir, my boss is sick. She can’t—”

Customer: “In person!”

(The customer continues to insist that he will only talk to the manager in person. After he is informed that I am sick and that I live 45 minutes away from the store, he says he will wait for me to come in and that he will not leave my employee to do her job until he has spoken to a manager in person. I drive to the mall to talk to him, though thankfully by now security guards have relocated him to the mall management office.)

Me: “Hello, sir. I’m the manager for [Kiosk]. What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “Your return policy is crap. I want to return this calendar and get my money back but your employee won’t let me.”

(He holds up a calendar that has already been opened.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but our return policy states that we cannot do refunds on opened merchandise.”

Customer: “It’s a store policy! You’re the store manager! You can let me return it.”

Me: “I can’t do that. It’s a corporate policy.”

Customer: “I want my money back!”

(He shoves the calendar at me; I see that it is one of our $8 sale calendars; most of our products are $15. I also see that not only is it open, he has also written on some of the squares for January.)

Me: “…You’ve already written on this.”

Customer: “I’m not happy with my purchase! I want my money back!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but corporate’s return policy will not allow me to issue a cash refund for opened merchandise that has been written on. If you would like to take this up with corporate, I can get you our corporate customer service number.”

Customer: “No! You WILL give me my money back RIGHT NOW.”

(He then proceeds to start swearing. Having had more than enough of this, I turn to leave, and he actually makes a grab for me! One of the security guards intercepts him before he can touch me.)

Security Guard: “Oh, no, you don’t.”

Customer: “This isn’t fair! I want my money back! The customer is always right! You were supposed to back down after I yelled at you in person!”

(He kept this up while one of the other security guards called the cops. As he was still going at it when they arrived, the cops ended up arresting him… all over an $8 calendar. Merry Christmas, jerk.)

Have A Hunch About Why They Want To Munch

, | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal

(Our fries take almost four minutes to cook and a customer has just ordered four large fresh fries. Two people have already told her there will be a wait on them. I notice a strong smell coming from her vehicle when she comes to my window.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, here are you drinks and your fries will be done in about three minutes. If you just pull forward a bit I’ll bring your order right out to you—”

Customer: “Oh, h***, no! I ain’t waiting for my d*** food! Give me my food now!”

Me: “I’m afraid your fries aren’t done-”

Customer: “I don’t care! GIVE ME MY FOOD!”

Me: “You ordered four large fresh fries-”

Customer: “I WANT YOUR MANAGER!”

Me: “Our fries take four minutes to cook. Two of my coworkers have already told you that you will be waiting on them. I apologize—”

Customer: *still yelling* “I SAID GET ME YOUR-”

Me: *yelling over her* “EITHER PULL FORWARD OR I’LL CALL THE COPS ABOUT THE STENCH OF MARIJUANA COMING FROM YOUR CAR.”

Customer: *suddenly meek* “Uh… I’ll… I’ll just pull forward.”

(I turn around to see my manager staring at me.)

Manager: “I hope to God she doesn’t complain about you because I’d hate to write you up for that.”