An Emerging Emergency

| Oceanside, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(A tenant was upset that she had called the maintenance emergency number at midnight on a Saturday night, and they did not respond immediately. She came into my office the following Monday morning to explain her ’emergency.’)

Tenant: “I had a leak from my bathtub faucet. I put a bucket in the bathtub to catch the leak. It got worse and the bucket overflowed. Don’t you consider that an emergency?”

Me: “Did the overflow go down the bathtub drain?”

Tenant: “Yes.”

Me: “Did any water leak outside of the bathtub?”

Tenant: “No.”

Me: “No, we do not consider a leak contained in the bathtub as an emergency.”

No End To The Weekends

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests

Customer: “Hello! Please, we would like to come to your play this weekend and we see that it sold out. We have waited all year and this is the only weekend we can get out of all the madness in our lives. Please, please, please, any chance we can get tickets? I’ll bake and bring cookies! Scream! Please?!”

Me: “We had a couple cancellations on Friday, so I can actually get you in at 11 pm. We really like cookies.”

Customer: “We were actually hoping for Sunday.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have a show on Sunday. Let me know if you want the tickets for 11 pm on Friday.”

Customer: “What about 9 pm on Saturday?”

Me: “We are completely sold out on Saturday. Do you want the tickets for 11 pm on Friday?”

Customer: “We actually can’t do Friday, so we’ll just come next weekend.”

The Fall Of The Call

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Thanks for calling [National Pizza Chain]. What can I get you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I want a large pepperoni pizza, no pepperoni, and six orders of fries.”

Me: *click*

(Five minutes later:)

Me: “Thanks for calling [National Pizza Chain]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I want a dozen cheeseburgers, hold the cheese, and four fries.”

Me: *click*

(Five minutes later:)

Me: “Thanks for calling [National Pizza Chain]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Do you have gum?”

Me: “No, but I do have caller id, and will be giving your number to the police if you call here again.”

Caller: *click*