Gotta Catch All The Compliments

| NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

(A mother and her twelve-year-old son are preparing to leave. While she goes to hit the bathroom really quickly, her son is standing by the hostess stand and I notice his Pokémon hat. He starts walking towards the door.)

Me: “Goodbye! Have a nice day!”

Boy: “Thank you. You, too!”

Me: “Oh, and by the way, nice Charizard hat!”

(The boy stops in the doorway and slowly turns, staring at me incredulously.)

Boy: “How did you know?!”

(I lean over the stand, and stare at him will all the intensity I can muster.)

Me: “Dude. I LOVE Pokémon. I’ve been playing it since I was in elementary school!”

(The boy gets all giddy. At this point, the mother leaves the bathroom and the two head outside. But just before they get out of earshot, I hear the little guy say this:)

Boy: “Mom, mom! She liked my hat! I told you I would find somebody!”

His Shopping Trip Came Crashing To The Floor

| Agadir, Morocco | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement

(My dad had heard from a few friends of ours that it’s a good idea to wax the outdoors brick floors so they don’t absorb water. They gave him the name of the brand they use. He’s the slightly moronic customer in this one. We don’t speak French, and they rarely speak English in this area.)

Dad: “I need [Brand] so I can wax our brick floors.”

Employee: *points to bucket*  “It’s for preparing walls before you put on tiles.”

Dad: “No, no, it’s for waxing floors!”

Employee: “Nnnnno, it’s for preparing walls before you tile.”

Dad: “No, it’s not! I need to talk to your expert.”

(An expert comes over, and tries to explain repeatedly what my dad is trying to buy.)

Expert: “This is for preparing walls before you tile.”

Dad: “You’re ALL clearly very wrong.”

(My dad marched out of the store with a five-litre bucket. The bad news: My dad painted the entire roof terrace with sticky stuff meant to help tiles stick to the wall. The good news: He did a really neat job, and it _almost_ doesn’t feel like you’ve stepped in dry soda anymore.)

It’s A Grey(hound) Area

, | Calgary, AB, Canada | Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

(I was working in the call centre for a well-known bus company named after a type of dog. An ad was running at the time for a companion fare (buy one, get one) and it featured images of the type of dog the company is named after. One afternoon I get a call in regards to the pricing and rules for the fare. After giving this info the caller has one last question:)

Caller: “So, to use this companion fare, does my companion HAVE to be a dog?”