The Final Cherry On Top

| Interlochen, MI, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work at the retail store of an arts camp. Since the campus is about a half hour away from the annual Cherry Festival, we sell a number of cherry products. One of these was a bottle of cherry concentrate. It is about $20 for a 12 oz bottle. Being concentrate, not juice, you don’t drink it by itself. You take about a teaspoon of it and add it to water to make it into juice. Most people, though, think that it is just normal juice and so it doesn’t really sell well.)

Camper #1: “What is this? Juice? Geez! Why would anyone buy juice for $20?”

Camper #2: “THAT’S NOT JUICE!”

Camper #1: “What? Isn’t it?”

Camper #2: “NO! THAT IS CONCENTRATE! IF YOU DRINK IT BY ITSELF YOU WILL POOP FOREVER!”

The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 14

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Books & Reading

(I’m working at the register when a regular customer (who is a man) approaches me.)

Regular: “[My Name], I have a question for you.”

Me: “Yeah, what is it?”

Regular: “Um… have you read Twilight?”

Me: “No, I haven’t actually read it.”

Regular: “Oh, thank God! I like you.”

Related:
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 13
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 12
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 11

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Go From Feeling Low To Feeling J-Lo

| Cornelius, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

(I am checking out a customer and her young son.)

Me: “Did you find everything all right?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you.”

(Meanwhile her little boy is staring at me open mouthed. I figure it’s because I’m a little shorter, not as skinny as his mom, and have thick poofy hair that looks like it belongs to a witch. But I smile at him.)

Me: “Hi!”

Little Boy: *in awe* “Mommy! She’s pretty like Jennifer Lopez!”

Me: *stares back in shock as my heart melts* “Aww! Compliment lying already! You’re going to make your girlfriend very happy when you get older!”