I’ve been the only sales representative at work for the past two days for a software development team. I get an email from our client.

Client: “Is there a price difference between [product X] and [product Y]?”

Me: “Yes. It’s [amount] plus tax.”

Then, the client calls.

Client: “Gooooood morning. Your sales representative told me that for a limited time, I can get [product Y] for the price of [product X]!”

Me: “That’s not true. The difference, again, is [amount] plus tax.”

The client emails again.

Client: “Your phone sales representative approved the lower price. Let’s go with that one. Invoice me immediately.”

I’m the only one here, though.

The Super Bowl LVIII is being televised, and I am enjoying it on my Sunday with some friends, joking about Taylor Swift, and getting caught up in the tight win. Go Kansas City Chiefs!

During the game, I get a Slack message forwarded to my phone from one of my clients from my graphic design work. The client knows I work a standard Monday-to-Friday, nine-to-five, so I ignore it and enjoy the rest of my Sunday.

On Monday morning, I turn on my computer to find a barrage of emails from the client, getting angrier and angrier. I decide it might be best to resolve this more quickly and just call the client.

Me: “Hello, [Client], this is [My Name]. I wanted to—”

Client: “Finally, he responds! I have an emergency here, and you’ve been AWOL! This is not the level of service I expect and—”

Me: “[Client], it’s 8:09 am on a Monday morning. I have spent the last nine minutes going through your emails, and I’m calling you right back.”

Client: “I emailed you yesterday!”

Me: “Yesterday was Sunday. I do not work on Sundays. I was enjoying the Super Bowl.”

Client: “Excuses! I have an emergency! You need to fix it!”

Me: “You didn’t specify in the emails what the emergency was; you just kept saying it was urgent and then called me names for not responding. What’s the emergency?”

Client: “The logo on my website! It’s the wrong kind of green!”

Me: “It’s been that same tone of green for years, ever since we first designed it for you.”

Client: “Yes, but now I need it to be a different green! It’s giving off the wrong energy according to the color experts on TikTok.”

Me: “I… see? What kind of green did you want to change it to?”

The client emails me a photo of a celebrity wearing a green scarf. It takes me all of a few minutes to source the exact type of green and update the logo. I tell the client to refresh the site.

Me: “Is that better?”

Client: “Yes. I don’t know why you couldn’t have done this yesterday!”

Me: “It was the Super Bowl!”

Client: “And the Super Bowl is more important than my logo?”

Me: “You want me to answer that honestly?”

We have a new hire. Initially, she was open to working full-time for all shifts, which would mean any hours from 6:00 am starts to 4:00 am finishes. I don’t think she was ever scheduled that early or that late though. She was scheduled for some weekends, which is where the issues began.

She complained about it and soon started booking every weekend off. Then, she started booking random days off every week. [New Hire] was obviously trying to force management to give her very specific shifts. However, that couldn’t always be accommodated due to others needing hours and their scheduling requirements. But she got every day that she asked for off, sometimes more.

One time, I booked three days in a row for a vacation. This was my first request in months, and I was the first one to book them off, making sure to put a #1 beside my name on each day. The next time I saw the calendar, [New Hire] had crossed out my #1, changed it to a #2, and somehow squeezed her name in above mine with a #1 on all three days.

Guess which one of us got them off? I had to trade three shifts away.

To top it all off, she had the audacity to wonder why she wasn’t getting hours. Sweetie, it’s kind of hard to schedule someone who books half of every week off. You did this to yourself.

I am waiting to be served at the service desk of a major supermarket in a suburb known for drug problems, crime, and s***ty people in general. This store only has a handful of trolleys, and today, there are none in the bays. The cashier is a young woman of eighteen or nineteen.

The cashier has just started to serve me when I’m pushed out of the way.

Customer: “Why aren’t there any trolleys?”

Cashier: “Ma’am, please don’t touch other customers, and wait your turn.“

Customer: *Now yelling* “F*** THE OTHER CUSTOMERS! WHY ARE THERE NO TROLLEYS?“

Cashier: “Customers are using them?“

Customer: “THIS IS F****** RIDICULOUS! WHY ARE THERE NO TROLLEYS?”

I’ve had a long day at work and just want to do my return and go home, so I step in.

Me: “Because some idiots take them away from the shop and don’t return them.”

Customer: *Turning to me* “WHO THE F*** ASKED YOU?”

Me: “Well, considering you literally pushed your way into my conversation and are harassing a poor worker who has no control over how many trolleys there are, you did. Now, shut the f*** and use a basket like anyone with half a brain. Just f*** off and let the five actual customers here get served, or the security guard there can call the cops and I’ll press charges for assault. Take your pick.

Customer: “F*** YOU, YOU FAT—”

Me: *To the approaching security guard* “Please call the cops. This woman just… Oh, look at that; she ran away.”

My family is checking in to a hotel, and the receptionist asks his usual questions

Receptionist: “Do you have any questions?”

My younger brother (kindergarten age) chimes in

Brother: “I have a question. Is that your snooker table in the other room?”

Receptionist: “Yes, the pool table belongs to the hotel.”

Brother: “Can I please play?

Receptionist: “No, we don’t let children play.

Brother: “Oh. Okay.”

The next evening, we are sitting in the hotel restaurant. After ordering, the waitstaff turns to my brother.

Waitstaff: “I heard you wanted to play with our pool table?”

Brother: “Yes, I wanted to play snooker, like on TV. But the other man said children can’t play here.”

Waitstaff: “You know, we decided to make an exception for you.

Mom: “That’s not necessary.”

Waitstaff: “I know, but everyone here agrees. It would be nice to have a guest play on that table who doesn’t behave like a toddler.”

Brother: “I’m not a toddler; I’m going to kindergarten!”

Waitstaff: “I’ve had guests much older than you who would scream and punch things for being told ‘no’.”