icon_bigotry

You’re Speaking To Miss. Ogyny

, | Dallas, TX, USA | Bigotry

(I worked as a supervisor in the repair department of a large electronics retail store. I was also only girl in my department. A customer called in one day…)

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to speak to a supervisor.”

Me: “I’m the supervisor on duty right now. How can I help you?”

Customer: “A supervisor is supposed to be a man…”

icon_awesomecustomers

A Bad Customer Virus

| UK | Awesome Customers

(I recently bought a new laptop from a large chain-store, which failed due to a broken hard drive. I take it back into the store and make my way up to the customer service desk. The girl behind the counter looks really nervous, and I guess that she’s pretty new to the job.)

Me: “Hi! I’m wondering if one of your tech guys might be able to take a look at this laptop I got from you last month. I think the hard drive decided it didn’t want to be a hard drive any more.”

Cashier: “Oh, um, gosh, I’m so sorry about that, but… er….” *she almost looks like she’s wincing when she says this* “We don’t have the facilities here to open up the laptop and take a look. It would have to be sent to our head office for them to look at it. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience this causes.”

Me: “That’s fine. I kind of guessed you guys might only have tech support at the larger stores and even they need to send stuff back to get it thoroughly looked at, so it’s not a problem.”

Cashier: “Really? Oh, wow! Ok, great, but, uh, the other thing I need to say is…” *she winces a little again* “…it may take a few weeks for them to check it out, fix it, and send it back, and if the hard drive is gone it means you might have lost data that we can’t restore. I’m sorry!”

Me: “That’s fine. I’ve got some parts from an old laptop I can mash together to get something running in the meantime. I only need it for the Internet and a few Word documents, anyway!”

Cashier: *suddenly looking relieved* “Oh, okay, great! I’ll start filling out the form.”

Me: “Okay… I give in. I need to ask. How many people get angry at you when you let them know about the timescales?”

Cashier: “Um, pretty much all of them. I’ve only been here a week and so far I’ve been called pretty much every type of slur you can think of, I’ve had someone throw their empty coffee cup at me, and one guy tried to take a swing at me the other day because he didn’t accept the fact his computer was full of viruses that weren’t anything to do with us. He was adamant I’d installed the viruses on purpose!”

Me: “You’re kidding?! I’ve had some morons in my time in retail, but I didn’t know they’d gotten THAT bad!”

(We finish the form and I head next door to a doughnut store, get a doughnut, and go back into the computer store to hand it over to the cashier.)

Me: “This is to say sorry for the a**-wipes you have to put up with to get to the few remaining customers who have manners!”

icon_languagewords

Wait Until You’re 21 Tall

| NY, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words

(This is my third year as a lifeguard at the local town pool. I am currently up on the stand overlooking the dive tank, which is 13 feet deep. A young boy, no more than six years old, walks up to me and this conversation ensues.)

Young Boy: “Mister?”

Me: “Hi, buddy, can I help you?”

Young Boy: “How deep is this?”

Me: “It’s 13 feet deep.”

Young Boy: “How deep is 13 feet?”

(We actually get this question a lot, so I usually compare it to the person’s height to give them a frame of reference.)

Me: “How tall are you?”

Young Boy: *after a couple seconds of intense thought* “Eight.”

Me: “You’re eight tall?”

Young Boy: *after a couple more seconds of intense thought* “Sometimes.”

Me: “Okay. You can’t stand in the water.”

Young Boy: “Oh, okay.” *walks away*

icon_technology

An Offline Request

, | KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work in a call center for a major phone carrier.)

Caller: “We’re supposed to have our service activated today, but we have no service.”

Me: “All right, let me go ahead and see what I can find out for you.” *accesses customer’s account, notices a vital network cable is being replaced and has no estimated time of completion* “Well, there is a local outage in your area, as there is an area cable that needs to be replaced, and they have to specially order the cable.”

Caller: “Well, we open tomorrow. Is there any way you can run a temporary line for us? We need a way to run credit cards and keep customers entertained while they wait.”

Me: “Unfortunately, the cable that provides service to your area is being replaced, and they have to order it.”

Caller: “Well, can’t you just use the box on the back of the building?”

(I goes on like this for a few minutes, the customer asking for a temporary line, or using the box on the back of their building; me reiterating that the network cable was needing replacing. Eventually, I have to pull this line out of my sleeve:)

Me: “What I can do, if you’d like, is set up a time to call you back, and update you on the situation?”

Caller: “I don’t see why you can’t just run a temporary line to the box on the back of the building…”

icon_healthbody

A Shocking Inaction At The Contraction

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Health & Body

(A heavily pregnant woman comes to the counter. She begins her order, but pauses to clutch her stomach while groaning. It is a Friday afternoon.)

Me: “Are you all right?”

Customer: “Yep, just having a contraction!”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: *resumes ordering, pauses to groan* “I have a pre-admission on Tuesday. She’d better wait til then!”

Me: “I don’t think your baby is gonna wait!”

Customer: “Oh, she will. It always takes forever. I have three other kids and they all took a few days.”

Me: *puts order together and hands it to her* “Well, good luck!”

Customer: *groans, clutches stomach* “Tuesday’s the day!”

Coworker: *after customer has left* “I bet we’ll see her on the news tonight having a baby in the car-park.”

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