Padding For The Apocalypse

(I’m a little on the chubby side, much to my mother’s chagrin. I have a round face and a little pudge on my lower stomach, but I’m healthy, eat well, am nowhere near overweight, and like my body the way it is, extra padding and all. My mother sometimes gets on my case about my weight, which I suspect is just her projecting.)

Mom: “You know, you’d probably feel a lot better if you lost a couple of pounds.”

Me: *pats stomach* “I’ll last longer when the famine hits.”

(This usually gets her off the topic.)