Our Coffee Is Not Your Charity

, , , , | Right | December 22, 2018

(I’m in line for a coffee. The customer currently being served is paying.)

Cashier: “Sorry, you’re 50p short.”

(The customer picks up a handful of change from the collection tin in front of her, counts it, and tries to give it to the cashier.)

Customer: “Here you go.”

Cashier: *stepping back* “Umm…”

(Another employee behind him notices and takes over.)

Employee: “How much was it?”

Cashier: “£4.75.”

Employee: “Minus 50p.” *taking money out of the register* “Here you go, madam. Don’t come back.”

Customer: *affronted* “How rude!”

Employee: “You have just tried to pay with the charitable donations of strangers. I find that rude. Take your money and get out.”

Customer: *explodes* “HOW DARE YOU?! I WANT THE MANAGER. HE ALWAYS LETS ME USE THE DONATION TIN!”

(The employee puts her hands on her hips and shouts a name, and a man comes out.)

Employee: “You know this woman?”

Manager: “Yeah. She’s the one I told you about.” *to the customer* “I said you aren’t welcome here anymore. Get out before I call the police!”

(The customer turns red as the employee speaks to her.)

Employee: “So that’s the manager and the owner telling you to get out. But before you go…” *points to the ceiling corner where there is a camera* “I’ll be sure to stick your picture up, for future reference.”

(The woman turns and calmly walks out of the cafe, but the second she crosses the threshold she floors it.)

Owner: *to me* “Coffee, on the house.”

(It wasn’t the kind I wanted, but who am I to pass it up? I did put something in the collection tin, though. After that, it seemed rude not to.)

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