Otto-Managed That Well

, , , | Right | November 15, 2020

A woman with an extremely aggressive husband comes into the warehouse and picks out a storage ottoman they want.

The storage ottomans are a frustrating item, as the metal mechanisms that allow the lid to be opened and shut make them extremely heavy, needing at least two people to lift it.

The naturally-aggressive douchebag husband flat-out refuses to pay delivery for his ottoman he’s just purchased.

Husband: “We’ll just pick it up.”

Yeah, right, buddy… more like, “We will drive our small car round back and your warehouse staff can do it.”

The husband and wife conclude the sales process in store and the sales associate passes a copy of the paperwork onto me.

I scan it over and make sure they’ve ticked off and signed off on the terms and conditions:

“All clearance sales are final. All clearance sales are ‘as is.’ Warehouse staff and sales staff are not covered under any insurance for loading or unloading customer’s goods. Customers are responsible for the pickup of any items they purchase.”

The customer pulls their car round… and it’s a smallish car, but should be fine.

The husband walks over and I show him where his freshly-bagged ottoman is and hand him a trolley.

Husband: “What’s that for?”

Me: “To load your ottoman, sir.”

Husband: “No, no, no, you’re doing it.”

Me: “There’s two of you, sir; you’ll be fine.”

Husband: “Well, then, I’m cancelling my order and filing a complaint against your company.”

I just sigh. I don’t want to cost this salesperson a sale, but my gut is trying to tell me something.

I quickly go into the office and grab a release form which we use for anyone picking up clearance, but I make a few handwritten notes of my own.

I bring the paperwork back out and show it to the customer.

Me: “Sir, could you fill out your full name and contact details, initial these handwritten comments, and sign this release?”

Husband: “Why?”

Me: “It just says that you’re happy to have me help you load up your ottoman and that if anything happens, you won’t hold us liable.”

Husband: *Smirks* “Wow, you guys sure take things seriously.”

I just smile as he signs the document. I pass it to my offsider, asking him to make a few photocopies for the sales associate, the manager, the area manager, and the general manager.

The wife grabs one end along with her husband and I grab the other end. We all lift it up and begin walking it toward the trunk of the car. The wife seems fine but the husband is struggling. He keeps asking to put it down so he can take a break.

We pick up the ottoman again, and as we are just about to reach the car, the husband lets go of his end, the lounge tips to the right, I lurch forward, and the ottoman smashes into the back of their car, taking out the right tail light.

The wife immediately starts laughing as the husband loses his s***. He is inspecting the damage and is looking at me with wild eyes, wanting me to offer him an admission of guilt.

I calmly stand there as they load up their ottoman and drive away.

The next day, the husband calls the store:

Husband: “I am filing a lawsuit against the company for damages!”

He provides human resources and the head office with excessive estimates. Immediately, I am called into the board room upstairs. There’s the general manager, the manager, an HR representative, and a legal representative who is there for the shareholders.

General Manager: “We’re not risking a lawsuit. We’re going to pay for this guy’s car.”

Without a word, I take out the document the customer signed. I hand it to the HR rep, who hands it to the general manager.

Me: “The customer signed off on a release form after I explained that the company didn’t cover or expect me to load his goods. The customer clearly stated here that if I helped him, he was absolving me of any liability, including vehicle damage.”

The general manager handed the document over to the lawyer, who scanned it. His face changed; he knew they couldn’t do anything.

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