Ordering Was Not His Calling

(I work in a fish and chip takeaway, and have just had a phone order from a lady who ordered fish and chips, as well as a mussel fritter. After hanging up to pin up the order, the manager tells me we are out of mussel fritters, and since it is relatively quiet tells me to phone her back in order to ask whether she wants an alternative. I dial the number I’d written on the order. A man, who I assume is the caller’s husband, picks up the phone.)

Me: “Hi, this is [Takeaway]. I’m calling about an order you’ve just placed earlier?”

Customer: “What? Who is this?”

Me: “This is [Takeaway]. I’m just calling to ask you about an order you placed earlier-“

Customer: “You’re the takeaway?”

(I’m worried I may have had the wrong number, but it’s highly unlikely.)

Me: “Yes. I want to ask you about—”

Customer: “No, why are you calling? You’re a takeaway, aren’t you?”

Me: “Yes, I’m calling concerning your order-“

Customer: “No, listen here. You’re a takeaway. You’re not supposed to be calling me. You don’t call people. I’m supposed to be calling you. Goodbye.”

(He hangs up. I confirm through the phone system that I had called the right number, as the last two calls through the phone are the same number and matches the one on the order, but I don’t say anything. Later, a man picks up the order, the same one I assume took the call.)

Me: *being very polite and making it out to be as much my fault as possible* “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise as I took your order, but we’d actually run out of mussel fritters. I tried to call you back but I couldn’t reach you, so we replaced it with a paua fritter. Is that okay?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want a paua fritter. I don’t like the taste. Why didn’t you say anything when you took the order?”

(Cue internal screaming.)