Orange Alert!

(I’m driving on the interstate early in the morning with my wife, and our two children are in the backseat. We see a sign for a fast food restaurant which serves breakfast a few miles ahead. My wife and I decide we each want a sausage biscuit with coffee and the kids just want an orange juice each. I pull off the highway to the drive-thru intercom which has an order display to “ensure accuracy.”)

Intercom: “Good morning. What would you like?”

Me: “I’ll have two sausage biscuits, two coffees, and two orange juices, please.”

(The order display correctly shows my order until I order the two orange juices; the display then removes the two coffees from the order and adds the two orange juices.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but the coffees were dropped off the order. Could you put those back?

Intercom: “Yes, sir.”

(The order display shows the two orange juices dropped off and two coffees added.)

Me: “The orange juices dropped off the order! Please put those back!”

Intercom: “You want the orange juices with the order?”

Me: “Yes!”

(The order display shows the two coffees dropped off and two orange juices added.)

Me: “I still want the coffees. Could I have those with my order?”

Intercom: “You want the coffees with the order?”

Me: “YES!”

(The order display shows the two orange juices dropped off and two coffees added.)

Me: “Don’t remove the orange juices! I want those on the order!”

Intercom: “The orange juices cost more, sir.”

Me: “I understand that; put them back on the order!”

(The order display shows the two coffees dropped off and two orange juices added.)

Me: “Keep the coffees on the order, please!”

(The order display shows the two orange juices dropped off and two coffees added.)

Me: “Please put the orange juices back on the order!”

Intercom: “But the orange juices cost more, sir.”

Me: “I know! Please put the orange juices back on the order!”

Intercom: “Sir, please drive forward and my manager will explain it to you.”

Wife: “Please just pay for whatever they give us and leave!”

(I pulled up to the window and, sure enough, the manager was also at the window to “explain it to me.” I paid without saying a word; if I had opened my mouth at that point, I’m sure I would have screamed some things the kids should not hear at their ages.)