Öptimūus Prålm

I work in a famous furniture chain at the customer service desk. An angry-looking customer comes up to me with some opened boxes for a small table.

Customer: “I need a refund! These don’t work!”

Me: “Were there parts broken or missing?”

Customer: “No, it just… doesn’t build!”

Me: “Are you having trouble building it yourself? Because we—”

Customer: “Build it myself? Doesn’t it self-assemble?”

Me: “Sir, this is a bedside table, not a Transformer.”