Opposites Attract Confusion

| Friendly | January 30, 2014

(My best friend and I are an odd pair, and have no interest in dating each other. However, when we are out in public, people tend to assume we’re dating. We’ve come up with a way to say why we aren’t if they ask, because there are many factors. One day, during dinner, a woman walks up to us.)

Woman: “You two are, like, so cute! How long have you been dating?”

Best Friend: “Oh, we’re not dating. We’re just friends.”

Woman: “Oh, why not? You’d be so cute together.”

Me: “Well, first of all, he’s forty.”

Best Friend: “And she’s twenty.”

Me: “He’s gay.”

Best Friend: “She’s asexual.”

Me: “He has a boyfriend.”

Best Friend: “And she just doesn’t want one.”

Woman: “So, wait, I don’t get it. You two would be so cute together. I don’t understand why you aren’t.”

(My best friend and I exchange dumbfounded looks, not sure how to make her go away. Luckily, after a small pause, she wanders off. I have to say, that’s the first and only time that explanation hasn’t worked.)

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