Opposite Of Pie In The Sky Thinking

While in high school I worked part-time at a local gas station that was open 24/7. Being that I live in a fairly small town – pop 10,000 people, we were the only store open after the local bar closed at 2 am.

I worked the overnight shift on the weekends often and around the Thanksgiving holiday, we sold apple and pumpkin pies. I know, who wants to buy a pie at a gas station? We also had an extensive convenience store as well. One Saturday night after the bar closed we are filled with a ton of drunks wanting snacks, smokes, or to wait for the cabs that will show up way too long after we call every available cab in the town to come and take them all away.

One of these lovely drunks decides he wants a delicious pie. He buys it, already armed with a plastic fork from our very small “deli” section, really just a microwave and some plastic utensils and condiments to slather on the disgusting hotdogs that have turned green from being “steamed” for too many hours to count.

He proceeds to take two bites out of the pie before he then drops it all over the floor in front of my cash register. I just looked at him and asked if he was going to clean it up. He bends down, scrapes the now dirty floor pie back into the tin, and continues to eat it.

I asked him if it tasted good and the man looked at me and said “Mmmm, tastes like floor!” He ate the whole pie and did a pretty good job of scraping it back into the tin as well.

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